There are some guys here in a sexless marriage.

I have had conversations with guys in a sexless marriage. I have a question for you guys. Sex is very important for guys, I am a guy. Has it crossed your mind to buy a small female torso made out of silicone if your wife is not willing or unable to have intercourse with you? They cost between 69 and 99 dollars.

I feel it would not be a bad topic to bring up to your spouse if in fact sexlessness is the problem. Actually just bringing up the fact to her that you need an inanimate object to take the place of her sexuality which she has lost or abandon just might set a spark to get her stared again.

Actually if you did own such a thing and your wife saw you fucking it it just might turn her on or it might turn her off. But does it really matter? I do not think that women actually know how important it is to get that semen out of a mans body. Semen acts as a psychological poison that causes men to gradually think outside their usual sexual thought process into realms they have never encountered before.

If I am extemly horny I fantacise about sucking dics and being butt fucked and eating gobs of semen. But after an actual fuck session thats all gone, the poison is gone. Think about it

 

I could not go for a sexless marriage. I had friends tell me once the ring went on the finger, it clamp the pussy shut. These were guys in their 20's. not for me. Now that we are late 60's our sex life has slowed down, but not come to a complete stop. I hate that phase Back in the day, but at least I had the day. And I miss them.

 

Great topic JFF, I've often thought about this. If my marriage went sexless at the beginning b/c she refused it after we got married for no good reason, I would likely abandon the marriage. This is before kids and before I had any property or significant assets to split.

But since then, we've built a life together, had kids together, bought a home, cars, obtained other assets. If my marriage went sexless now I would assume it is because she ran into medical issues, injury or other trauma. I would not leave my wife or cheat, I would consider it my duty to care for her. I would just jack off all the time and pick up new hobbies or interests.

I'm the exact same JFF and I would assume anyone posting or reading in this forum have a voracious sexual appetite. And I feel exactly the same when I blow a load. What you described is why men pursue women and how our species propagates. Without that urge, we would be extinct.

 

I have stated here many times that I was in a sexless marriage for way too long.
The VAST-VAST majority of women do not understand the male drive, and unfortunately most of them don't care enough to want to understand it.
Most women can be quite satisfied with having sex a couple times a month. That will satisfy no man. As the marriage ages, too many women will drop that number down even further.
And exactly as in my experience, when they do agree to have sex it is with reluctance. And you are left with feeling unsatisfied and frustrated.
THANK GOD, my 2nd wife is soooo much better. She is great. We have sex 2, sometimes 3 times a week usually. And when she is not that into it, she will gladly start giving me a hand job, maybe a little head thrown in there and then let's me finish myself.
I can't tell you how much that means to me as a man.

 

May, 2008.

 

Great reply thanks for your honesty.

 

I happen to believe marriage is a covenant agreement meaning I must hold up my end of the deal even if my wife doesn't do likewise. She and I haven't had much sex in our 6 years married due to issues we've both been dealing with that have affected her sex drive. If it was a medical issue I'd find it much easier to avoid resentment but I finally realised mental health is just as real and as compelling a reason as physical health. We're in a good place now finally talking about things, seeing a counselor and working our way up to having sex hopefully this month. It's been immensely frustrating and I am certain my wife doesn't get how important sex is to me or to men in general. This is one of the most egregious double standards that exists in our culture. Feminism has got carried away pushing men to be all things to women: their constant unfailing support, listening ear, to work, to help with the chores and take care of the kids. Not that any of that is necessarily wrong, the problem is the balance. The demand for a wife to support her husband particularly when it comes to sex is considered barbaric and completely inappropriate.
Having said that I've grown immensely this year by facing some of my issues and my stance on sexual gratification has shifted. I used to masturbate 2,3 sometimes up to 6 or 7 times a week. This year I haven't cummed yet. Yes 33 days and counting. I've never gone so long before and I've never felt better. My desire for sex hasn't changed, it's still pretty intense some days but I've decided the next time I cum it's gonna be in my wife when she's ready. There's always been an immense sense of shame and disappointment attached to masturbation. A part of me has always known that it's not how sexual pleasure is supposed to be. Something in my soul reaches out at the moment of climax for someone to share it with and when there's no one there it's hollow and depressing. I feel in control of my body and my urges like never before. It doesn't control me anymore I'm the master of it.

 

It happens to women too. I chatted with several who have no sex from their husbands. And I met a few.

 

It isn't the build up of semen but the hormone testosterone that pushes men to desire sex. By not having sex provided for by a committed partner the man will consider other options to quench his thirst. A thirst driven by the hormone and not the storage of semen. I'm presently in a sexless marriage but not by choice. Sometimes life deals a rotten hand. But there is so much more to a marriage than sex. Given that, I have a couple of toys I use in private when I have a need to have that pussy feeling around my cock. If I need more as in having womans body to enjoy I have alternative resources I use. We have agreed that I can satisfy my animal instincts to empty my tank outside our relationship.

 

Can't blame a woman if her first priority isn't always to please her man. Women have a lot to deal with just by the cards they've been dealt.

For starters, having to go through a period every month from the age of 11-40/50's, the extra products / cost needed to deal with it, having to worry about missing it after sex. I would argue women bear the majority of both the responsibility and the physicality of bearing a child. Guys, have you ever watched you kid being born? And the way she starts breast feeding it? omfg

Somehow the ability to have multiple orgasms doesn't make up for it.

 

I don't mean to be argumentitive or split hairs but a study was done about testosterone build up by members who did not ejaculate for a week. Here is a summery.

In a small 2003 study , researchers documented a link between ejaculation and changes in serum testosterone levels. Among the 28 volunteers, testosterone levels peaked on the seventh day of abstinence. A small 2001 study found elevated testosterone levels in participants who abstained from masturbation for three weeks.

So, if you are in a sexless situation keep those levels low or crazy thoughts will enter your mind.

 

Barry, I've heard you say that before and I admire how you stand by your wife. I assume she's not doing that on purpose. I still enjoy great sex with my wife but I also know a medical condition or car accident can change that, if I have to go sexless, my right hand is ready Heck I'll use both hands hhaha

Thats really interesting JFF but I don't need a study, those thoughts get pretty nasty! For no reason at all, I tried to deny myself starting new years 2021 to see how long I could last - no sex, no MB'ing. By the second week, I was walking around with a constant (partial) woody and the neighbors cat was looking pretty tight LOL, couldn't deny myself any longer than that. Surprised I could make it that long. What do people do when they are physically not even able to masturbate?

 

Your not being argumentative but reinforcing my point. Yes, as men abstain from ejaculation testosterone levels build across time. This is what drives men to seek release especially when it is kept away from them by an unwilling partner. The original comment was pointed at a build up of semen which is incorrect. My body produces a high level of T. I had it tested less than 48 hours after sex recently. My level was more in line with a 35 year old man instead of someone in their mid sixties such as I.

Her issue is purely medical and nothing can be done to correct it. It's not her fault and we did say "for better or worse". We accommodate each other nicely.

 

You are IMO a good man. I feel the same about my girl.

 

Been there for 3 yrs??

 

This is an interesting topic. From a man's point of view, I feel that how big of a problem this is depends on your attitude on sex in a relationship.

Do you view sex in a relationship as an expectation and your right to claim?

Do you view it as a privilege?

Do you view it as a mutually beneficial activity?

Or perhaps sex in your relationship is a reward that your partner grants you for good behaviour.

 

Pheh.... just sayin.
Yes women have their own sets of things to deal with that men don't. But don't dismiss the fact men also have our own things to deal with that most women do not.
It is not a contest of who has more shit to deal with, and the winner gets to diss the other.
Look at what we have to deal with. Men are crazy easy to satisfy. A woman is 25 times more complex than we are. And why most women (studies show 70%) prefer to work with men than other women.
Men are easier to deal with, generally speaking.
Neither one gets a hall pass for being inconsiderate to the other. It goes both ways. EQUALLY

 

N

I view a relationship not as a relationship but as an experience. We mutually experience each other and yes sex is involved. If the sex stops for reasons other than health issues then we need to discuss this. If we come to the conclusion that we have taught and learned everything there is to know from each other then I could easily say good bye.

The last experience I walked away from I signed over the house to her without a blink. My mental health and well being is much more important to me. When my friends heard this this said why get married. Just find someone you hate and buy her a house. I don't hate her at all. I just like her better when she is not around. Take the house and stay away from me. The kid we had doesn't speak to her either.

 

I agree but with a whole bunch of caveats.

 

All I'm saying is that when you get together with a group of married guys to have a few drinks and laughs - maybe watch a little football - and 90% of them say they aren't getting nearly enough sex. I have never, never ever, in my life heard a guy say "wow, I just can't keep up with her, sex is all she thinks about, my cock hurts"..... Men, we have simple needs and it makes such a difference in life to get your pipes cleaned on a regular basis. Geeze, I'm kinda on that rant today....oh yeah, it is Wednesday.....wish me luck.