The whole world is out to fuck me in the ass sideways!

Ok, so it all started when i went to the bar one night.

about a week ago i went to the bar 1.5 blocks away from my house. i wasnt home yet, so i parked my car at the bar and just went in. (otherwise, i would just leave my car at home and walk to the bar.) so i was in the bar for a good 4 hours or so, and when i came out,the two tires on my driver side were flat as fuck. Goddamit. so i just drove it home anyways.

so the diagnosis was that i needed 1 rim and 2 tires. we find this place that sells tires cheap and stuff and get all set up. get it home and put the tires on it and one of them leaks. turns out both of the rims were fucked. so i had to go back down to the shop to get a rim with the tire.

It was wet, my brakes suck, and i was coming down this steep ass hill. I swear i started breaking 200 feet away from this car who was trying to turn left. (there is no turn lane, btw.) I end up rear ending a ford expedition with a woman and two little girls who were going to sell girl scout cookies in front of krogers. GOddammit. so i was at fault and i gotta get the insurance hike and all that.

plus, there was almost no damage to that big road hog. but my front end was smashed and the hood folded up and the radiator bent in a little bit. ITs ok, i can still drive it fine, all the lights work and it didnt ruin anything. and my plastic grill is mostly gone.

ok, now rewind to about a week ago. I got this call from someone who owns a tool shop in wilmington (about an hour from here) saying that i rented some painting equipment (which i didnt) and i ended up figuring out who did it.

so today i got this message on my machine from the police in clinton county saying that i need to call them to return the equipment that i dont have. I dont knwo what i should do about that, except get tim (the guy who stole my ID and rented that equipment) and take him out there and make him confess to what he did.

then, to top it all off My car straight up died and it has no oil. thats wierd, cuz i gave it a tune up yesterday and put 5 quarts in it. so i had to push it a couple blocks all by myself at 3am and fuck that.


The whole world is out to get me.

 

oh yeah.

AND i trimmed my goatee for my GF's Mom and i told her and she was like "youre supposed to shave it".

you know what fuck that its my face ill do what i want.

 

I have no interest in your ass so it isn't the whole world.

But yeah that sorta sucks, dude.

 

I thought it was a good storie about a experience in a gay bar oh well maybe next time

 

Sorry you're having such a rough break right now Death. And wow, your girlfriend's mother doesn't sound too appealing.

 

shitty.... but at least you know not to drive a car when the brakes are shit now, right?

 

why did you drive home if you usually walk?

 

Do you ever notice how stuff seems to start when you go to a bar, have a beer or talk to someon that has done eith of the two?

 

My truck's in a creek since last fucking Sunday.

I've tried everything to get the fucker out, but no luck.

 

Use Tnt .

 

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA YOU DONT KNOW HOW HARD ME AN DILLI ARE LAUGHIN!!

AAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH..
ya know i love ya brother.. it was a piece of shit anyway..

err was it the one that was fixin to get repossessed?

need anything just hollar..

a week in the creek??

AHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHAAHAAHAHHAAHAHA,

luv n lite..

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

 

I tried everything short of a fucking bulldozer.

I'm afraid someone'll strip it and set it on fire before I can get the POS out.

I'll take a picture of it and show you. It is pretty comical.

 

sand trap?

how deeps the water?

oh wait you just got outta the military,,you dont need noadvice from a hillbilly neither..ya are one..

seems to me like you might just outta strip it ,,naa that aint gonna help ya. still gonna get the bill fer when the county drags its ass out..

so iffin ya feel like it,, describe how its stuck..

 

I originally hit a tree and the back end slid into the creek. So the front's sticking out and the back is hanging from the bridge. I tried two different wreckers and they couldn't do shit. As of now the rim on my right front side is fucked, but there's no telling what type of damage'll be done after the county boys take care of it.

Fucking Squabble creek...

 

come along the front secure to a tree horizontal to the front..

then take somethin good an sturdy,, preferably a wrecker winch.
an yank her ass straight an away from where shes hangin..

be sure an keep tension on yer life line..

once ya getter drug straight an off the side of the bridge(i assume its not on the bridge but on the abuttment) then ya outta be able to drag her on out..

course i aint seen a pic..

any way it gos,, its gonna take a beatin gettin her out..

 

AHAHAHHAHAHAHA 2 WRECKER DRIVERS IN RURAL KENTUCKY THAT CANT GET HER OUT??

AHAHAAHHA.. man somethin aint addin up here..

 

You're tellin me man.

Luckily I'm dating a girl who lives just a block from work so that's not gonna be too much of an issue. I might not make your shindig though less you're willin to pick my ass up.

 

ive been bitchin about my life here for 2 weeks.. hell if ya put it all together it would be 5 paragraphs longer than yours..

sometimes the circles are oblong..

somewhat egg shaped.

look at a egg


itll get better,, follow the shell..

luv n lite

 

HAH! I knew when my wife died on the 2nd of January, that the new year was already taking a turn for the worst.

 

man an i thought we had no friends..