The Shepherd And His Flock

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by Peace-Phoenix, May 9, 2004.

  1. Peace-Phoenix

    Peace-Phoenix Senior Member

    Most of you have probably read this before, I'm just reposting it from the old forums for anyone who hasn't. I've changed it slightly too. I'd love to hear any comments you might have to improve it. I've recently entered it into a competition, so fingers crossed....

    The Shepherd And His Flock

    When the far-flung places of this world

    Beckon thee with freedom’s finger,

    To embrace the open arms of strife;

    Fear not morality’s misgivings, but

    Clench thy rifle in thine hand, clench thy fist of might

    And take solace…

    For the Lord is thy shepherd.



    When His chosen people find their way

    To Zion’s hill, let them not fear loss,

    But let them build a golden wall;

    Pave the streets so, and let all beyond

    Wither and decay.

    Ask not why it must be so,

    For the Lord is thy shepherd,

    And to pasture thou must go.



    When the stars fall from the twilight sky,

    When the sun abstains her morning duty,

    And when the Earth itself doth heaving sigh;

    Think not upon the atom bomb

    Obliterating innocence;

    Nor nature’s spirit felled to build it,

    Her bounty reaped, pillaged, burnt and raped:

    For we preach His good name,

    Question not ours…

    The Lord is thy shepherd.

    And thou art sheep!



     
  2. Enonemouse

    Enonemouse Happy Wanderer

    Still love it Sal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Love & loving it
    Enonemouse
     
  3. xZx

    xZx Member

    lol it doesnt need improvement! i have a strange desire to go "baaaaaaaah" tho:eek: hmm i shall go take my medication now...
     
  4. Xiola

    Xiola One Lonely Seagull

    Oooo, good stuff!
     
  5. miabubble

    miabubble Member

    I love your writing Sal, your style flows beautifully :)
     
  6. borut16

    borut16 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    I like it quite a lot. I love the use of 'old' words in it, and effect they cause.
    It kind of reminds me of that song i've just been listening to
    (Rage Against The Machine:"now you do what they told ya, now you do what they told ya"*
     
  7. flowerchild17

    flowerchild17 I practice safe sax.

    Sal that really does flow wonderfully, I really love it :) Espeically the second phrase.... :)
     
  8. lithium

    lithium frogboy

    Whatever happened to this promising young poet?
     

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