the sex before mariage.

Discussion in 'Sanctuary' started by shivo, Jul 15, 2008.

  1. shivo

    shivo Member

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    Is sex before mariage a sin???
     
  2. xexon

    xexon Destroyer Of Worlds

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    The idea that it's a sin comes from another rule, thou shall not steal.

    Many cultures used to encourage sex before marriage because it helped in the process of determing if that person was right for you or not. Also, once you got sex "out of the way", you could concentrate on getting to know the person better. I suspect the divorce rate was lower by that method than the way we do it today.

    As a Christian, you have to decide what has more substance to you. Words in an ancient book, or what you feel within the heart.


    x
     
  3. LanSLIde

    LanSLIde Member

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    Tricky little question. Lust, or dehumanization of others (through using them) are both sins, certainly. Can you have sex before marriage without participating in either sin?

    Yeah, I think you can.
     
  4. eponabri

    eponabri Member

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    Are you giving it or taking it?
     
  5. eponabri

    eponabri Member

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    Oops, sorry, I didn't see that this was for Christian's only, so I will be on my way.

     
  6. xexon

    xexon Destroyer Of Worlds

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    I'm not a Christian. But I did stay in a Holiday Inn last night. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. :)



    x
     
  7. shivo

    shivo Member

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    The thing is im a virgin,and sex is not for me a lust.i really want to know if I ll make sex,it will be consider a sin??
     
  8. shivo

    shivo Member

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    And im a christian.
     
  9. xexon

    xexon Destroyer Of Worlds

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    Here comes the test of faith.

    A belief is easy until you find yourself at a crossroads. You must choose one or the other.

    Any religion is a product of what other people believe. True religion, is what you believe.

    Jesus would encourage you to search your heart for the answer.

    Don't think, FEEL.


    x
     
  10. eponabri

    eponabri Member

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    In all seriousness... I use to be a Christian.

    When it comes to sex, and it being a sin, I think you need to decide that for yourself. Many people were raised to believe that sex even after marriage was still a sin. They were literally damned if they do, and damned if they don't. And if you were a Catholic, you received the mixed messages that you must have lots of children, but don't have sex other than for reproducing babies, and if you do, make sure you don't enjoy it. It can be very confusing.

    If YOU feel it's a sin to have sex before you are married, then for it you will be a sin. I personally don't believe sex is not a sin either way, as long as both partners are consenting, old enough to understand the responsibilities, and have a strong emotional bond with one another. You can be married to someone and not have these things, and I think in the eyes of God that is more of a sin.

    You should never have sex with someone who is pressuring you into it... to prove your love for them. If they truly loved you, or at least cared about you, they would be patient and not push.

    I'm not saying that sex for purely lust's sake is wrong. But you do need to go into it with that mindset. If you have sex with someone and then start to believe and act that they have a made a comment to you and belong to you, just by the act of sexual intercourse.. that is more of a sin, because it ends up being an act of greed.

    So, sex in and of itself is not sinful. But your reasons for having and how, when and with whom you do so, is what makes a sin.

    Does that make sense?

     
  11. Okiefreak

    Okiefreak Senior Member

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    If you can do it without a high risk of getting pregnant or spreading a disease, and if you're mutually agreeable, respectful of each other, in love, and ready to take the leap to commitment, I don't see the problem. Of course, those are big ifs. I don't believe in casual sex. I've heard of studies that indicate that people who shack up together before marriage have a lower chance of staying together afterwards, maybe because the novelty has worn off. But I think there's something to be said for testing sexual compatibility before making a permanent commitment.
     
  12. eponabri

    eponabri Member

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    My husband and I didn't live together before we got married, but we were sexually active in the year we were dating. We've now been married for 29 plus years.

     
  13. IMjustfishin

    IMjustfishin Member

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    marriage is something totally artificial. look at animals, do you see them performing a ritual before they have sex? nope.

    there are good reasons why you should wait until your mature enough to loose your virginity, but marriage is really not one of them. i mean what happens if you dont like your partner in bed? that would suck! if you love someone and have sex with them then why should it be considered a sin?? just cuz its written in some dusty old book? i defy you to come up with a good reason why it would be a sin for two people who love each other to express their love physically.
     
  14. aguest

    aguest Member

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    Who established marriage?
     
  15. aguest

    aguest Member

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    Dear friend! Did you not read it, this thread is "For Christians ONLY!"?
     
  16. StonerBill

    StonerBill Learn

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    I hope to provide a good answer to this thread before it becomes a mass of personal oppinions. Sin is not a matter of oppinion. The oppinion is whether you believe in sin, and what doctrine you base your judgement of sin upon.

    The whole 'no sex before marriage' thing was declared along with other rules like 'every sperm is sacred'. Its easy to think of the rule to be 'you cant have sex until you marry, and then you can have sex whenever you want' but if you are going to follow the old doctrine of no sex before marriage, then youd best follow the other that says you mustnt have sex just for pleasure, that sex is for procreation.

    If you are still interested in the history of such a rule, you can consider that in most cultures, family's can put a lot at stake concerning who they want to mix their genes with, and the only guarantee that a baby comes from a certain man is if she was a virgin when he shagged her.
     
  17. StonerBill

    StonerBill Learn

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    as for my oppinion - no omnipotent god would give a rats arse whether two of his creatures touched parts chronologicaly prior to being in the presence of another creature declaring them to be wed. No one needs to do anything special to prove anything to an omniscient god. The only purpose for religious behavior is so that we ourselves can understand what we want from god - but God would know more than any self what that self wanted and needed. Religion is there so that people can prove to themselves that they care about God. because it would be an insult to say that God required man to do anything special at all. its an insult to God, and a huge appraisal of man.

    that is, if you believe in god.

    otherwise, you should do as many of us, and have sex before marriage
     
  18. aguest

    aguest Member

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    Interesting comments here, thanks to everyone!
    But I will try, if you don't mind, view this matter from yet another angle.

    What is the difference between "sex" and "marriage"?
    Is it not the same in the country where you are living? If not, then why not?

    Again, the term "sin" is only found in the Bible and has nothing to do with hippie ideology, I must warn; in the Bible the word translated as "sin" means to miss the target. In the context it means to fall short of perfect obedience to God. Such is my information.
    So, if you are one of those Christians, who want to follow the Bible and Jesus, here are some interesting points to consider:

    In the Mosaic law there was such law, that if a maiden should commit immorality "while in the house of her father" (that is, before marriage), she was due to be stoned to death. Such severe penalty was meant to prevent moral degradation of the nation, no doubt. Christians don't form a literal nation, neither are they subject to the Mosaic law anyway.
    But generally we can see, that sex before/out of marriage wasn't viewed by God as one of the "innocent pleasures", nor as a normal thing one should experience in his "search for true love". The Maker, it seems, was of opinion, that sex out of marriage was a harmful thing for men. And this CAN be interesting for Christians who want to learn more about "God's will" regarding sex...
    But what if we are talking only about sex between the two, who already are engaged and will marry soon? Looks like, it is not the same as above. Still, if we take God and his views seriously, how would we decide? How much would we mind what God thinks about sex? Even if we don't fully understand his point of view?...
    Maybe, these questions could help you to find your answer?

    This line of thought assumes, that a Christian wants to understand and follow the Bible and its guidelines. But I know that many Christians see it differently, which is their right and freedom. I'd like to be sure, that this post will not prevent anybody from sharing freely their own opinions on this interesting question.
     
  19. OlderWaterBrother

    OlderWaterBrother May you drink deeply Lifetime Supporter

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    The Bible doesn't say sex in of itself is a sin, it's not but sex outside of marriage is a sin.
    So if you're interested in being obedient to the God of the Bible, wait until after marriage to have sex and then only with your mate. It's what the Bible says.
     
  20. Bhaskar

    Bhaskar Members

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    Sin is as aguest said "to miss the target" as in anything that takes you away from the goal of knowing and being in communion with God. Thus it cannot be generalized, and would depend on your own internal condition. If having sex before marriage creates guilt feelings (which I sam almost sure it will in your case) then better abstain, since it will take you away from being in tune with God.
     

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