my heart might flicker the blood starts to flow stopped by the decayed flesh gone long ago as i tear at this decay i cry my broken tears. stifled agony beneath these tender claws the spears in my brain take away my ever way, anything i would want to say. nauseating my skull - it shivers it`s my own freezing different from anyone elses it`s my own secret insanity the blistering heat leaves you with scars my sensitivity burnt away.
A few capital letters would make it seem less like something written rapidly on a napkin, and more like a poem. It seems very stop-start. it seems like you are just randomly picking when to go on to the next line... and sometimes it seems you randomly go to a different image an octupus screaming a kangaroo hiding the moon is nice but what was I saying? I don't know why, but if you are to have a sense of coherency to the poem, it seems to me that perhaps you could use the image of tears to do so? Use the image in various ways throughout, to have one solid, coherent image stream going throughout the whole thing.
whatever, i was sharing my Good, Real poem, if anyone with Sense was to read it (pah) then that was why i put it here. bye
