The jokes thread!!

Discussion in 'Stoners Lounge' started by moopy, Apr 16, 2007.

  1. moopy

    moopy Member

    Hello everyone.

    I thought it would be fun to open a Marijuana, Cannabis and Hash jokes thread!

    You are welcomed to write any jokes you know as long as they include smoking, smokers, cannabis, Marijuana, hash, joint, bong, chillum, and their friends! Here are the first ones:

    - Stoned head died and went to hell. He opened his eyes and he sees of a huge marijuana field. Tons and tons of high quality juicy buds around him. He cannot believe his eyes. Suddenly, he sees another Stonehead. He runs towards him. And asks him in an astonished voice: "is this really hell? I always thought hell is lava and fire."

    - The other Stonehead starts yelling: "Fire, Fire! You have Fire? We don't have fire here..."

    Go on and make everyone laugh!

    :spliff: :drool:
  2. smokindude

    smokindude Senior Member

    Its weed, you smoke it and enjoy yourself. You dont tell jokes about it.
  3. smokindude

    smokindude Senior Member

    BTW, welcome to the forums man, your lucky to come across the best marijuana discussion available on the web.
  4. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    Once upon a time there was 15 year old "stonehead" (gotta love that word)... he was smoking one day, and then a lightning bolt struck him dead for his lack of humour.

    Hilarious, ehh?
  5. ~peace~

    ~peace~ Senior Member

    once upon a time there was a kid called smokindude who shut the hell up.


    its funny coz it will never happen.
    (take the hint)
  6. smokindude

    smokindude Senior Member

  7. 40oz and chronic

    40oz and chronic 'Nuff Said

    to be honest i cant even come up with a joke about
  8. venomx

    venomx Member

    how many stoners does it take to screw in a light bulb...
  9. jahmin

    jahmin Member

    What did one stoner say to the other?

    I forget.
  10. How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?

  11. paintballer687

    paintballer687 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question.
    To he first he said "what was your biggest sin on earth?" and the man replied "Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man" so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

    To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied "oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man". So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said "see you in 100 years" and locked the door.

    The third man's answer to the question was "oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can't live without it!". The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you've ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying "see you in 100 years".

    100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man's room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
    The devil opened the 2nd man's door and the man came running out of the room and cried "IM GAY! IM GAY!". Finally the devil came to the third man's room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; "hey man, got a light?"
  12. paintballer687

    paintballer687 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    How many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse?

    None. Alligators can't fly.

    *tokes on joint*
  13. paintballer687

    paintballer687 Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    A stoner walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
    | Cheese Sandwich .............. $1.50|
    | Chicken Sandwich ............. $2.50|
    | Hand Job .................... $10.00|

    Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager looking group of men.

    "Yes?" she asks with a knowing smile, "May I help you?"

    "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

    "Yes", she purrs, "I am." The man replies "Well wash your fucking hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
  14. Hari

    Hari Art thou Art

    Why did the stoner cross the road?
  15. 420fuchs

    420fuchs speaks the truth.

    why why why???
  16. Taken from the humor form:

    "Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"

    "Yes. What can I do for you?"

    "I'm calling to report about my Hippy neighbor ....
    He's hiding marijuana inside his firewood!
    Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hiding it

    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."

    The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on The Hippy's house.
    They search the shed where the firewood is kept.
    Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
    They sneer at the Hippy and leave.
    Shortly, the phone rings at The Hippy's house.
    "Hey, Bro! This is Drew....Did the Sheriff come?"
    "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep!"
    "Happy Birthday, Bro!"
  17. moopy

    moopy Member

  18. 40oz and chronic

    40oz and chronic 'Nuff Said

    to get to McDonalds that he thought he saw.
  19. whats the best way to stump a group of stoners?

    ask them what they were talking about 5 minutes ago

  20. seaweedyness

    seaweedyness Member


    a bass drum, a tomtom, and a cymbal fall down a hill

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