The irony of it

I was just thinking (which sometimes gets me into trouble!).

I dinn't choose to be gay, or bi-sexual. I just AM
But knowing what I do, if I had the choice between gay or staight, I would choose to be exactly who I am

 

I, for one, am hetero (or atleast I think,not sure...wouldn't care if I was Bi though, I'd maybe even prefer being bi at times...)
But I totally hate anti-gay/bi people.
I respect homo/bi sexuals a great deal, what do people have against them? It's only love...you can love whomever you want, it's no sin. And sometimes I think that their relationships are probably more exciting too, I mean battle against sociaty and all that stuff probably even makes it a deeper bond.I don't have any homosexual friends (or atleast I think so...).I really respect you guys, and often start yelling at people who use the word 'gay' for 'stupid', that just pisses me off...
Why can't society just leave you guys to your own decisions? Why are people so narrow minded, and don't respect you? Fuck all those bastards who have something against you guys! They're stupid, narrow minded, and immature.

 

I especially like the fact that you have recognized that you just are who you are & accept that as is. You are going to enjoy life much more with that knowledge & attitude.

 

I remember going through a stage when I was 14 and still admitting to myself that it wasn't a phase that I liked girls... I decided that if I could choose, I'd choose to be straight. How much easier would it have been?

I have since rescinded on that decision... Why limit myself to one gender? Ahhhh the greedy bisexual is at it again...

 

Yeah, must be glorious to be bi...I thought I might be bi around 14 and was thrilled temporarily


But no boys, not now anyway, it simply doesn't work or give me what I need. I just have, and have had, zero - ZERO - attraction to any male minus a fuzzy warm feeling for this gay teacher/friend/mentor of mine

too bad

sexuality is strange

 

i hear that! if only the world could see that sexuality is fluid... you only are who you are... theres no reason to be either gay or straight or bi except that... you just are.

hooray for love!

 

1) Ideally, everyone in the world would be bisexual, devoid of inhibition and stigma and able to love and fuck whoever they want.

2) I can't say whether I'd still be gay if I chose it, because I do genuinely believe that I don't have the choice, and have never really entertained the possibility of bein heterosexual. I imagine if I wasn't homosexual I would have grown up with different drives and ideals, and so I wouldn't be the same person I am now. I don't know if that's necessarily a bad thing, but it's different.

3) For this and a few other reasons, if I had the choice as I am now, I'd probably be a straight woman.

4) If I was a straight man, I'd probably want to be a lesbian, for pretty much the same reasons.

 

I'll say it again..if I had a choice between hetro and bi...-I'd be bi.But I'm hetro. It must be glorious to have a chance to get a date twice. I know...I'm a really strange person...but it's true!

 

I had two separate interesting conversations with two different friends, once.

Both conversations were about how sexuality intervenes with free will. I'd find that my thesis would've been more straightforward if I was out of the closet, but nevertheless, my point was well-expressed.
Basically, I expressed that sexuality is realisitically who we are- We were created with a unique trait of being attracted to the same gender. This trait, however, may be difficult to be revealed, due to society's customs. The general custom of society in terms of sex is the attraction of the opposite sex. As always, there are exceptions, and in this case, there's the exception of homosexuality and bisexuality. Unfortunately, these exceptions are considered taboo, because of society's natural expectations of the majority to be hetero. In this case, it is often difficult for same-sex tendencies to be exposed when the dominant sexual preference is naturally heterosexuality. Therefore, most homosexuals who are unaware of their homesexuality are usually blindsided due to the influence and impact upon society's sexual traditions, and more importantly, acceptance. Usually the individual won't realize their homosexuality until they are capable of making their own decisions and becoming more independent, rather than looking at society as a whole.

Anyway, those were some of my basic reasons....

My first friend, who was a guy, believed that homosexuality is based on influence...You can only be gay if you "experience it." I laughed at this one...Little did he know that he was hanging out with a gay guy! I didn't really bother with this comment...He obviously had little or no experience with gay people if he thinks being gay is a choice based on hanging out with gay people through influence. (I'm not saying its impossible, but come on- How closed is that?) I mean,the most that will happen to you in his perspective is getting a good insight and respect for homosexuality, not actually becoming one...Take children who are raised by gay parents...They're not all gay, and if they are, chances are that its a genetic reason...

My other friend, who is a girl, obviously had a more open mind...Maybe even too open to the point where she was...Unrealistic...
She believed that sexuality is dependant on the power of free will...How our relationships interact with eachother will trigger our emotions to react in choosing our committted relationships...Its just a matter of being open-minded to consider any possibility.
While I respect her open-mind, I also find it a little unrealistic...Physical attractions are also important for a relationship to last...Usually a person's physical form and their personality will balance eachother out when it is appealing to someone...But to base relationships fundamentally on only personality when you're not even attracted to the person is unrealistic, unless you're not interested in sex, which is a very small percentage.

I'm gay...I like men, and women don't arouse me...I didn't choose to be, and I wasn't inspired to be gay...I was, and always was...It was just a matter of realization and self-acceptance to realize I am gay.

 

But that's it... you do have the choice... by saying that you'd choose to be bi means that you must have feelings in that area... so why not explore them?

Although, saying that, you are still young (no offence), so time may change you?

 

You know, I would tend to agree with her. OK, maybe it's not true of gay people specificly, but I can fully see it action within bisexual people, such as myself.

On an emotional level, we're all the same... it makes no diffrence if you're a guy or a girl. you just change your stance and view on things, based on who you're with. If you're a stright guy, and you see a girl, your brain says "right-o chap, lets get some ass" or some other such thing. If you see a guy tho, it's a whole other ball game, you don't think of that person as a sexual partner, just because you've never been open to the idea of it. (do you see what I'm saying?).

Look at the internet, it's great for people being annomous... so far as you know, i'm Dan, I'm a guy, and i'm 25, and i'm bi. but who know's if that's true? it could be bullshit, you never know. Because of this, you never know who you're talking to, male or female, and can easily fall for someone online, anyone, either male or female, because you either made an assumption as to what gender that person is, or don't find out, but you still find out you like all the same things, find you connect on a special, level, etc.. - all because your brain does not have the inital view of 'same sex, no go'..

I'm crap at explaining myself, I hope that makes sence.... moral of the story, I agree with your friend, while it might not be true of gay people, i think it is of most bisexuals.

 

Dan, do you think you were always bi, or was it solely based on choice, because of your open mind? Someone with a closed mind could be gay or bi throughout their life, yet refused to come to that realization based on society's circumstances.
You, on the other hand, embrace diversity, therefore possessing an open mind...However, do you believe your open mind enabled you to discover your sexual tendencies towards the same-sex, or is it TRULY based on emotions?
Don't think I'm judging you, I just wanna know your intake, so I can get a better idea...

I'll tell you my situation-
Before I came to the realization that I was gay, I was in a period of self-denail, and hid it from reality...I guess you could say that my mind was closed then, fearing society's demands and customs...
Anyway, throughout that period, I would make myself like girls in a sexual way...You know, force my mind to think that way. At that time, there was this one girl who I was CRAZY about her personality. My emotions truly felt like I was compatible with her, and I could tell that she was crazy about me. But you know what? I realized that this relationship couldn't happen, because I found her sexually unattractive, and sex is psychologically a beautiful and emotional experience in terms of a relationship...
Thats when I realized that I wasn't happy- Forcing myself to be someone else in terms or sex was killing me, and thats when I realized that I need to accept myself for who I am...Now, I accept the fact that I'm gay, and I am happier...I know that once I come out, I can be happier...
I know that if I lived my life liking women, I'd never be happy, because they don't arouse me...I could LOVE who they are to death, but I'd never be happy, because sex is also a passion in a relationship..

 

I don't think that I was bi until I opened my mind to it. Before I started to explore the idea of bisexuality, I was never attracted to other guys, now I am. I don't yet know if I can fall for a guy, but I'm open to the idea, and would not reject it if it happened.

Here is how I guess I view the whole gay/stright thing. Going back to a very basic (scientific) level, and taking the view that it's 'normal' to be stright (please don't take offence, you'll see what I mean in a moment) for the purposes of reproduction (i.e., the only reason we exist is to reproduce, and as someone else once put it man + man != man). It's instinctive in your mind to seek out, and have sex with, members of the other sex for the purposes of reproduction.

Now when it comes to homosexuals, they have the same instinct, but it's backwards. It's meant to say 'look for the other sex', but it says 'look for the same sex', and so that's what they do, and they feel sexually attracted towards the same sex etc.. Now any type of *problems* they might have with 'coming out' are down to society, and what's 'acceptable'.

Bisexuals are diffrent... I'm sure that maybe you could be born bi.. i mean it's highly possable for the signal to point in both directions at once.... but I think that most bisexuals are so, because they choose to be.... and I can see it happening... within myself, which is why I believe it so much (and maybe why you can't see it, because it's not happening in you, if you see what I mean?).

 

I think there's a definate difference between being bi curious and bisexual. To me, if you're open minded and willing to explore the possibilities of sexual attraction to the same sex, then it truly is a choice and just exploration. To be bisexual IMHO, is to possess not only the capacity to be comfortable having sex with someone of the same sex, but also to be able to fall madly, passionately in love with them as well. Earlier on in the thread, someone mentioned that bisexuality is fluid, and I very much agree with this assessment. Life's experiences and maturity no matter what the age of the person change your attraction, even if it's a temporary shift. For instance, when I was 18 and 19, I played and experimented with women that I was attracted to, and enjoyed it. It was like realizing the obvious in me. Then I fell in love and married a man, and no thoughts of women even entered my mind. After the marriage ended, I went so completely with women, that I wouldn't have touched a man. That was 10 years ago, and I'm just as happy with either one. I've had a relationship with a woman, and I know that I would love to be in love again with another woman. I don't consider myself a freak or whatever society says of me, just realizing the obvious within myself.

 

Hi ... MinneBi nothing to add on this thread just wanted to say hi

I am not bisexual ... plain old hetro been looking into asexuality actualy..

http://www.asexualpals.com/ don't laugh beth it's true..honest

 

Well.....I really hate how people discriminate you people, and if I was bi I'd only hide it from my family....who cares if the others know?
I feel like kicking their asses for being such jerks. It must be cool having twice the chance for a date. But I never felt any attraction towards another female....

Welll.....guess it's just the way I'm born ^_^.

Piece to all of you! I believe if you were more open about your sexuality, fuckin' sociaty will just give up and let you be. Maybe start some sorts of protests?

You can also kick them in the face by saying christianity is wrong, for it's theorized by scientists that it's more natural to be bi then hetro...not sure about homo though (sorry guys ) . So therefore christianity makes you oppose your natural sexuality! Fuck that, one reason I'm non religious....

 

I assume you mean 'young' people? - and I'm not.. but you have got to admit, at the age of 14, you've got a hell of a lot to learn about the world... and you won't believe me now, but in 10 years you'll look back at yourself... and then you will see.

I have as much respect for young people as I do for old people.. but i'm not going to ask a mechanic about fixing computers, because a mechanic knows about cars... so on the same token, someone that's older is going to understand life more than someone that's younger... now that's not to say that the younger person knows less, but it's still an important variable...

 

I am sorry I didn't notice this when you folks were talking about it originally. Please let me bring it up again to weigh in with my opinion. I now realize that I was always bi. I truely was attracted to both genders as far back as I can recall. During the time before I was in my mid 20's I repressed any male attractions though & had many great relationships with women. Somehow I started getting feeling a real need to have a relatioship with a male or at least have sex with a male. I tried to repress it but circumstanses led me to finally accept it & give it a try. If you had asked me if I was bi before that point I would have vehmiently denied it because I really didn't think I was anything but heterosexual. I just kept having these strong friendships with guys & I wanted to hug & kiss & other things but that must have been because I was stoned or something at the time. You get the idea. Knowing what I know now if I would have just accepted these feelings much earlier I am sure my life would be different, I'm sure...
Once I did accept it & start experimenting I then did fall head over heels in love with a guy at the same time being in love with the woman who is now my wife. I to this day love each of them but he has moved on while she is still with me.

I have read that people all start out bi & what happens from birth helps shape our sexual outcome. I generally have thought that is true but I have to admit that that lately I am starting to question that. If it were true why the hell wouldn't my very straight conditioning growing up in a small rural mid-west redneck town & further repression not have turned me straight. I also kind of wonder if I had went with my first attraction to a boy when I was 13 or 14 if I would have gone as much down the heterosexual path as I did. Hard to say now but it is something that I ponder.

 

YES. young people do that alot from the 10 schools I went to (ESPECIALLY the german schools....>.>). And I know what you mean, I still have ALOT to leaen till I'm 18.....eventhough I usually get told I know to much and am to mature for my age.....probably 'cuz I take college coarses and am TOO independant (I do everything myself....)....yeah...I'm a geek....so what?

 

lol, I am going to comment here. I am a heterosexual male. There is nothing that turns me on more than a female body. But, I am also very open to being fluid with that definition... if that makes any sense. If I found a guy that was attractive and wanted to screw around -- I don't think I would turn it down. I can't imagine really falling in love with a guy but I am completely open to the idea of just going with the flow and having some fun. No hurt feelings just some good times with genitals.

Now, I am not really "attracted" to men just not repulsed by them. I would never seek out a sexual encounter and I definitly would not turn down the possibility of being with a woman for a sure thing with a guy.

I think sexuality is like a scale. I don't know that anyone is exactly anything... just shades of it. I am predominently straight. But I am a lot closer to bi than most people would claim for themselves.

Does anyone else feel like this? Like they are MOSTLY straight but not 100%?