the Ghost of Penny page

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by thegreatbuddah420, Jun 2, 2007.

  1. thegreatbuddah420

    thegreatbuddah420 Member

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    Walking along the old Dirt Road
    the old schoolhouse stands in the fog and cold
    cross the bridge and around the bend theres no turning back
    a dim light forms from the black
    the white woman passes expressivelessly by
    turn around to catch a stare
    to your suprise there is no one there
    just the ghost of penny page
    full of revenge and rage
    damned to wander aimlessly
    seeking justice on the ones who did her in
    two centuries before

    by: Chuck M. Aka thegreatbuddah420 6/2/07
  2. Kether

    Kether Member

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    This is really cool. Catches the imagination. Is Penny Page an invention of your own, or is there a real life legend or backstory(Linkies if at all possible?)?
    Felt this didn't quite flow as well as the rest...Could just be the phrase "expressiveless" though that's funking with my read-flow. Suggestions for clean-up:
    "Expressivelessly, the white woman passes by"
    "the white woman passes expressivelessly by"
    "the white woman passes expressionlessly by"?

    Other than that, it's really good. Really like the phrase
    , as it adds a sense that there is a real legend behind the poem. It also makes us is she getting revenge? Is her quest pointless and doomed to never be completed, or is she killing the descendants of those who wronged her? How did they wrong her? So many questions! Makes us want more, but pulls out before giving too much and ruining the mystery.
  3. thegreatbuddah420

    thegreatbuddah420 Member

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    well the reasoning behind this poem is my friend sara and I go ghost hunting every now and then going around to random cemetaries in the middle of the night and snap off a few pictures and she told me about this abandond schoolhouse in a town called lindley new york that was supposively haunted so I couldnt refuse but to check it out so we go up there snap off a few photos and I kid you not I turn around to go find a place to releive myself and I see this white light glowing in the distance so I quietly make my way up the road and theres this woman walking along I tried to take a picture but the moment the flash hit she was gone... so the next day we go to sara's parents house who live up the road to explain what we saw the night before and her father told us the story of a woman who's house was burnt down up the road from the schoolhouse in the late 1800's by some arsonists and died in the fire I am unaware of the womans name so I gave her the name penny page it went with what I was writing as far as the line you said needed fixing I ment to type expressivelessly but I typoed lol ah well I fixed it and I think you said you wanted links to the story I looked on google and found nothing but there you go there's the story behind the poem that is penny page Im glad you enjoied it thanks for reading

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