Well I live in the country I got a neighbor and his names Joe and me and Joe don't get along just so.. One day I decided I was going to fix his plot and that puny motherfucker would never know.. Now old Joe he farms a garden, out behind his house. The prettiest fucken garden you've ever seen. One day I snuck out behind the grass and watched his little scroungy ass and when he got inside I got real mean.. Well I stomped on his tomatoes and I pissed on his potatoes and I shit all over his fucken sugar beans. The I got my dick real hard and jacked off in that fuckers yard and got my rocks off all over his cabbage leaves. I showed that little fucker didn't I? Thought he had old hog run loose in the yard. Didn't know what was going to happen next, didn't have to. Well I left there chippin' like a mouse and made my way back to my house but I when I got there things were kind of quiet.. I heard somebody moan and groan and I thought what the hell is goin' on and then I looked through the window and caught a terrible sight... It was Joe and my wife in my bed and between my wife's legs I saw his head and I thought that son of a bitch ain't got no sense... he never did come up for air and there amongst the fur and hair he was having a four course meal at my expense. Now time or two he'd cough and spit and my wife groaned and almost shit and I thought that motherfucker would never stop. But he finally did and grabbed his pants and up the road I saw him dance, acting like good ol' Joey on the spot.. Now the moral of this story is don't ever pitch a shit you just might not know the trouble you'll be starting. Just let your fucken neighbors be and think about what happened to me and most of all... don't fuck with that mans garden.. Well I fucked up his eating and he eat up my fuckin', I never thought the bastard was the kind that for shuckin'. While I was in his garden he was inside my house fucking, and now my wife is throwing rocks at me...
If you move to my neighborhood I'm going to protest. And I'm going to protest in a way that will make MeAgain's protest of Trump look like a one-time rant. And if I suspect that you've somehow gained access to my garden anyway, I will force-feed you the vegetables that smell like shit. And if none of them smell like shit, then I will shit of them myself and then force-feed them to you.
