The Free Hotel

I think I run a free hotel. This is bullshit. I wake up and walk downstairs in my underwear like a normal person, and I find two total strangers sleeping on my couches. I run upstairs to ask carri "Who the fuck is on our couhes" and she says "it's nikki and her friend (already forgot the name) who came up from florida." I'm like "What's wrong with nikki's place? Didn't she plan on where to sleep before she drove across the whole country to get here?"

AND THEN there's a dude sleeping in my basement moving furniture around and scraping my metal bowls EVERY FUCKING DAY
I'm like "Stop feening on my bowls, They aint even been smoked out of since the last time you scraped them:"

Today is the day. Everyone better be fucking gone before I get home from work or I'm cracking skulls.

 

It was like that in my old place when I was at university. I'd go down stairs and there would be a different guy there with my flatmate most days. It eventually got pretty irritating.

 

the hard up weaselly stoner in the basement LOL...reminds me of a house guest we once had..this person would put joints out too early and try to steal the big ass roachs to smoke later..i fucking hate having to collect all my belongings before i go to the store..or worse,,,put a lock on my bedroom door.....were the 2 upstairs girls?

 

Must be the same guy. and yes the two on the couches are chicks. I don't know who the one from florida is.

 

Can I crash out over there sometime? I wont touch any of your stuff.

 

hell no
The reason I made the Mancave is so people would stop moving in.

 

:rofl: He has to get his fix MAN!!$#$!!112@1!!

 

Not even your good old pal Gatsby.

Please! I'll bring my own weed, my own bowl and my own pickles.

Please.

 

Death do you have a crowbar, baseball bat, or a 12gagu, that will get em out. Some people never come back to a house knowing someone will use a gun.

 

When they wake up you should have a continental breakfast prepared... and then when they leave throw them the bill.

 

start hiding your bowls in your room

 

Do this. Seriously.

Only bring the bill with the meal

 

Revenge is a meal best served cold.

 

And make sure the food is cold? =S

 

Make a custom greeting card that says, "How about a nice steaming cup of get the fuck out?"

 

yep.

 

All you need to do is start making comments about how you find certain behaviours annoying and how it might be better if they moved out sometime.

They'll either get the message and stop being a nuisance, or you can toss them out in a bit without a huge drama shitstorm. It is only courteous to give some advance warning, and if you don't it will just cause other problems and lead to a very messy moving out.

 

hide them up in yor closet or in between your matress. think long and hard about finding the right place to stash them

 

to cure someone of 'bowl scraping' syndrome you must put something really disgusting in the pipe

sheep shit looks alot like hash

 

you just reminded me of an idea myself and some buds had this summer. After a night of reckless and irresponsible behavior we are going to show up at a local hotel that offers a free continental breakfast buffet, wearing pajama pants and looking kind of groggy from being up all night and walk straight to the breakfast and sit down and feast.