Bright darkness swept across the land Blazing bullet caught with bare hand Wind swept sand and dancing snakes Another's worried heart still aches Back home the lonesome been forgotten Thousands more corpses lie long rotten Hopeless slayers assault terrors home Forever lost souls the desert they roam My thick tan camouflage can never hide Those bloody nightmare images burn inside Barren land of hellfire's satanic rays Three Kings follow the lost star away Summer missiles crack in moonlight red skies Our ancestors mock us this Fourth of July
Hats off, man. Not many people can make rhyming couplets sing, but you've managed to do it. Some great imagery there too. Plus, it's hard to tackle a subject like this without coming off all soapboxy, and this does not come off as though you're preaching. There's anger there, but it's tempered by the lamenting tone. It's almost a dirge. Nice work.
