My mothers words not mine. I am an accomplished adult (28 years old) with a family and damn it they are staying! I just get frustrated sometimes.I have an interview in a couple of months and its in academia and in a position/field where dreads are not such a big deal and besides, not to brag, but my resume should speak for itself. THE DREADS ARE STAYING! I told the parents (in order to appease them for the holidays) I will make my hair look as neat and presentable and left it at that. That way they can believe I will cut them off and be "normal".....sigh...some encouragement would be awesome guys...
ur a grown adult, they cant really force u to cut them off. just be like, yo moms if u cut ur hair i'll cut mine. as far as ur resume goes, people still are judgmental but hair shouldnt really matter anyhow. and good luck at ur interview.
I'm 35 and my parents are upset about mine. I love my parents, and I respect them, but I'm a grown man now. Then again, they never told me they have to come out. I think they'd know my response.
you know....the first time I dreaded my hair, I was 17 and my dad kicked me out of the house. He told me that he was disowning me as his child untill I wisen up and cut them off! Absurd eh?! AS a parent myself...I cant imagine saying something like that to my child over a hairstyle...especially one that promotes a natural and organic lifestyle! Anywho....I didnt cut them off....instead I hit the road and did my own thing. Eventually though I did cut them off for my own reasons [*major regrets]......Now....almost 10 years later....Im dreading my hair again. Im 2.5 months in. My dad and I have a bettrer relationship now....but he still hates my hair. Im always getting rude comments from him over it. However, he's a good grandpa to my daughter, and my daughter loves him to death. So, I just suck it up and let it roll off for my daughters sake. And actually, the comments have ceased. Im sure over time, your parents will learn to deal with it and leave you alone as well. Hang in there! Im sure your resume will speak for itself, just fix your hair up as nicely as you can and show the world that your confident about yourself. You'll be fine and once you land that job...your parents will probablly leave you be! Theyre probablly just worried that all your hard work wont pay off due to the hair...theyre just lookin out for you in their own way. Anywhooo....Im ramblin!
thanks everyone, yeah i was so irate about it i vented on another site too. But they can deal with them, I make my own choices. mandyland, I can't believe your Dad kicked you out over something like HAIR. I could never do anything like that to my daughter....glad your relationship is a little better now. Anyways, thanks for all the much needed encouragement. My dreads are 3 months old on Saturday by the way.
My parents have been really great about mine, actually (I'm also a grown adult btw ). When it was first "noticed" by my parents that I was growing dreads I was ready with what I would tell them... and basically it was along the lines of "I know you're not happy with this but I'd prefer that negative comments be kept to yourselves and that my hair not be a constant topic of future conversations because I won't be participating in them." I answered any questions that they had and reassured them that I would not allow my hair to cause me to become homeless (or something like that). And that was that. They've slipped with a negative comment here and there... but overall I'm proud of them because they've kept negative comments to a minimum. This was despite my struggle with looking for a job at one point, which could have easily been attributed by them to the dreads (I've since become gainfully employed). They've even started complimented my hair now and then! (This took years in the making, mind you). So basically, my advice is to simply stop participating in these negative conversations and politely ask them to drop it. For good.
, I am planning on going into academia with dreads. What is your degree in? Best of luck to you :cheers2:
For those interested, my degree is in chemistry. Thanks for all the encouragement everyone. I have given this a lot of thought and the dreads are staying! I will make sure I am neat and well-kempt and properly dressed for my interview...with dreads. Even though I honestly don't think it will matter. I have been in the field for years and have seen much wierder and eccentric folks then myself become wildly successful and well-respected, a look around any chemistry conference will tell you that. Anyway if you will allow me to wax poetic for a bit *ahem* The family only wishes the best for me. That is there intent. However, they made their way by fitting in, conforming, and doing whatever society tells them to do. Unfortunately that has come at a cost. Most of them despise their jobs. They are burdened down with debt and uncertainty. They aren't satisfied with where they are or where they are going. It really pains me to watch that. This is a lot of the reason I refuse to compromise who I am for "stability" as that "stability" is often false and fleeting and just further sucks you into the spiral of debt, and unhappiness. However, this is all my parents know, this is what they were told again and again. Despite that they have little to show for it in the way of true happiness and contentment they hold onto it. They are always miserable, worried, scared, and longing. It frightens them that I even went into academia in the first place since it won't make me a lot of money, ever. And it has always worried them my tendency to buck society and trends and do what my soul tells me. On the one hand I understand their worry since they know nothing else...on the other hand I know I have to do and be ME. I feel lucky I learned this early in life. I will ALWAYS put my daughter and husand first, provide for us ect. THat is just always going to look a little different then the majority. And I don't think that is such a bad thing. Thanks for listening everyone...
yay....I soon will be entering the world of academia myself but with a degree in psychology! Im not the least bit worried about being accepted with my dreads and tattoos. I've definitely met crazier psychology proffessionals than myself! In fact...in the psych world it seems that the biggest pre-req is insanity! lol. Anywho...your gonna rock in whatever you do!
