The Burden of the Enlightened Ones

Ever since I dropped my act and ego, I became aware of my own vitality and existence. I realized that life is too short to waste time getting caught up in petty social situations. Ever since I started speaking my mind and stopped acting dumb, I realized that some of my friends just don’t want to have intelligent conversations. They would rather sit around and play stupid fucking drinking games.



I’ve found that my own friends take me for granted; they may not want to embrace my mind because they do not understand the sudden change in my behavior. I am not willing to waste my valuable time with pointless banter anymore.



I understand that every human being is a life form of both good and evil in relative terms. Right and wrong are just words, what matters is what you do. Actions speak so much louder than words, the actions of my comrades that they are only interested in petty social situations. I used to be extremely social, but now I have voluntarily withdrawn myself.



I found by not hanging out, I have so much more time for my passions in life. Instead of drinking my nights away, I am free to write, listen to music, or just reflect on the events of my life. There is nothing sadder than one feeling as if he has outgrown some of his friends. I cannot relate to people who refuse to take me seriously. I know that it is partly my fault for acting dumb for a number of years. The only reason I acted foolish was to fit in. I definitely fit in better when I was an idiot.



Now I spend my time in a more productive manner, I spend a few hours a day writing poetry. I know that my writing has separated me from my companions. I actually have manifested an image of my being in all the writing I have done the last four years.



I feel horribly alienated from so many people I used to be close to. I really don’t feel the connection that I used to, I have found other groups of my friends that do appreciate my desire to have intelligent conversations; it only makes sense for me to start hanging out with them. I feel so much more welcomed and well-received among the groups of people I haven’t spent so much time around. It’s not like I still don’t love my friends, it’s just that I feel they should at least make an attempt to see me as an intellectual. One thing I have stopped doing is joking around. I discovered that when one goes from a clown to a very serious person, people still see you as the clown.



It is my passion for stringing words together that made me realize that words are capable of anything depending on the connotation of the reader. When I truly express myself with the words I now use, my closest friends remain silent. I have spent far too much time and effort worrying about what other people are doing, and nowhere near as much time or effort on what I am doing for myself. I am much happier doing things that benefit my present and future. I have also realized that I give my friends much more respect than they give me. It seems like I got more respect when I was acting irrational to fit in.



I cannot escape the feeling that my friends take me lightly. Now when I’m with them, I wonder if they even notice or care that I am not the same as I used to be. It is very apparent to me that I have made a conscious effort to improve the quality of my life; I wish my friends would follow suit, or at least be happy for me for changing my self-destructive ways. I am much healthier now in both my body and mind.



My will to be much more than weird has separated me from some of my pals, but has brought me closer to some of my other counter-parts and partners in crime. I am a freak by every sense of the word. I am an anti-establishmentist and an extremely free spirit. It doesn’t seem as though some of my buddies enjoy my company anymore.



I know I’m not alone in this, as this is the same burden every intellectual faces. The smarter you seem, the more people feel threatened by you. I feel like such a nerd now that I only want to talk about very meaningful topic of discussion. Some of my friends seem like they feel superior to me and thusly do not take my thoughts and ideas seriously. I realize that I am in no way superior to any other person. All humans are equals; I just noticed that by social standards I am an abnormality. It’s hard for me to find people who want a deeply philosophical discussion; although at raves it is easy to find such people. My friends are against the rave scene as they are quick to judge people they don’t even know.

“Don’t criticize what you can’t understand.”
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-Bob Dylan
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My friends seem like they know exactly what I’ve been up to, even though in reality, they have no idea. It is easy to go through life judging things you have never experienced. I have realized that my own friends don’t know me as well as they think they do. They assume they know what’s best for me, I know they do care about me; but they really don’t understand why I am the way I am. It’s really sad when I can relate to people I just met more than people I’ve known for years. I am a radical, and I was born a raver.



The rave scene of today is the same as the club scene of the 1960’s musical revolution. It’s where the absolute freakiest of the counter-culture go to forget about the established order and the ignorant faces of society. My first rave was a life-altering ordeal.



All I could think about at my first rave was footage of Pink Floyd playing at an underground club in England. The times are not any different; history is repeating itself over and over again, ad-nauseum. Time is not linear, the past, present and future all happen at the same time, this can be described as the eternal present.



I sometime wonder if my friends ever even think about this kind of thing. I am beginning to believe that I am the only one who does think about these abstract topics, this is my burden. I know my friends are great people, but I have seen the hypocrisy from their words and actions, they have great beliefs but lack the conviction that I have. Conviction and passion are perhaps the two best qualities I respect in people. I do not care what one believes, as long as they are convinced of it. My friends talk about peace and love for the human condition but are very quick to judge people they have never met for their beliefs and actions. I feel I am being persecuted for my new found love of the rave scene. I will continue to follow my heart and see where it takes me. Namaste.

I won’t be your beast of burden
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All mountains are surrounded by deep valleys.

Going over the edge gathers new meaning when you actually experience it. You haven't had much time to test the bridges you've built, so you think all is well.

Life will send you running sooner or later. You better hope those bridges hold up under strain. I'm betting they won't.

But even as you crash and burn, you are aware enough to understand the lesson. Study over it and move on.


x

 

If that ain't the truth, I don't know what is. Namaste.

 

I can say I relate in many ways and have experienced many of the same things.

I see myself as a wild card though, at first glance of myself, you'd never think I was spiritual. I take part in many activities with my friends, including drinking/drugs. I work behind the scenes, I directly involve myself with the people of this earth. The best way to find out how to help somebody, is by walking in their shoes, and I do just that.

I guess I use this forum and the internet as an escape for myself to intellectualize.

 

enlightenment can be a trap...as much of an ego trip as other roles that we can get caught up in...

easy does it and steady as she goes

 

God is in a cup of beer in my opinion, so I drink her everyday. The nectar of Mother Nature
Namaste

 

He's closer than you think.

 

To be perfectly honest, I don't think you're after enlightenment at all.

When I was a teenager, I also thought I wanted enlightenment, but now when I look back at what I had in my mind, I think I was just unsure of who I was... less interested in finding God or whatever, and more interested in becoming a person that I actually liked, and not the person I was.

It sounds to me like you're frustrated with your friends and you just want to be accepted and understood by people who care about you. If you were really after enlightenment, you wouldn't feel the need to defend yourself and your decisions, and you definitely wouldn't need to attack your friends under an anonymous username.

It seems to me like you're really intense and it gets a bit much for other people at times... this is only natural. Nobody wants to follow someone who's only concerned with their own thoughts and ideas and at the same time thinks of them as unintellectual ciphers only interested in 'stupid drinking games'.

Intellect isn't the ability to conjure up random and obscure statements at will... it's the ability to produce focused ideas that communicate and enrich the listener. The smartest, most spiritual people are the ones who actually know how to listen, not the ones who proclaim that everything else is useless and that they already know the answer.

 

We are all clones from the future. We are living in ancient fucking history, enlightenment OVER.

 

Make new friends but keep the old, one is SILVER, the other GOLD.

 

im trying to find new friends. im not "intellectual" by any means. but i was tired of the same old shit day in and day out. so i joined the military, met a shit load of cool people and got kicked out for continuing to do the same things that i did when i was a civilian. eventually when i came back home, 75% of my friends said i changed and stopped talking to me. my thought was i didn't change i evolved. the other 25% are still cool with me and understand to some extent why i did what i did, or i do what i do.

im trying to explore myself and see where it leads me. but i seem to have been stuck for the past year. i cant seem to retain much, even though i want to. i guess i still want to fit in, and learn at the same time. but i dont think that will ever work. i guess im not as good at multi-tasking as i thought. haha

oh yah and just curious by "rave scene". techno, trance, psy-trance, dancing and talking for 10 hrs straight, getting E-tarded or something else? if so ive had some "intellectual conversations" myself, or it seemed like it at the time.