The Best Things In Life Are Free...

Really, what is better than sitting on the throne after that second cup of Joe, and tossing a big hairy turd? Have you ever been out in public when it was that time, and all the stores have signs that say, "restrooms are for customers only" or "no public restrooms"? It's so damn painful when you have to, but no place to let it loose. But the ecstasy of being two pounds lighter is orgasmic, or at least it was once when I was dosed on Mescalin. I even had my girlfriend come in and admire that long brown masterpiece. The laughed, cause she was trippin too, but couldn't stand the fragrance.

Ever notice that people don't mind the smell of their own, but everyone else's smell like shit! Some people seem to enjoy their own so much they sit there and read something while huffing their fumes.

 

coming to your senses

 

I almost felt that way this morning. I was at a restaurant with my family when the urge cam over me to get up and go drop a deuce. I waited until we had finished breakfast though and went home to do my business.

 

whut

 

if your shit is growing hair, you should probably see a proctologist,,,,,,,or a barber

 

^^^ Dammit... I was gonna say that

 

Taking a crap and wiping is the most onerous task one has as a human, IMO. Mindfully(assfully) doomed by biology.

 

Some days, it's the only time I can look behind me and see exactly what I've accomplished.

 

Best things in life are free?

Hmm. I'm not so sure.
Didn't work for me as a kid, when I got caught shoplifting.

 

Me either. I stole a yo-yo. Got caught-caught!

 

The average person will spend three years on the toilet during his/her life time. (Numbers-Roddick Books.)

 

I was going to mention the meteor shower in a few days based on the title, but now I see we are discussing poops. I had a big shit yesterday.

 

40% of the worlds people have no toilet and must use the bathroom anyplace they can find:bushes,roadsides,alleys,etc.=(The big Necessity-St Martins Press)

(Hey dad, can I borrow the car? I wanna' go out to US 1 and take a shit.)

 

not what goes in what comes out

M&m's melt in you mouth, not in your hand

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbGs_qK2PQA

 

First time I have heard m&m. PASS. I'll take music, thank you.

 

the best things in life would be free if people didn't rob them from each other.
its still free to watch them go by though.
thinking your own thoughts is free, when someone isn't preventing you from doing so by demanding your attention to gratuitous conventionality.
the diversity of reality remains free, frequently inconvenient, but free.
no one can kill or intimidate that, no matter what kind of power or other advantage they might abuse in attempting to do so.
we don't always see it. a lot of people don't seem to know nor care where nor how to look.
but its there around every corner. the blade of grass growing up through the crack in the street.
on the field of carnage, there will be some dumb bird singing off in the distance somewhere.
there is always something. that's what diversity is.
always real and always free.

 

oxygen

 

comes from trees and other vegitation. they give it to us for free. when we dont cut them down.

 

I like free shit.
I also like buying shit.

 

You are so deliciously weird, and I like that. This thread speaks truths.

I'd never invite anyone in to admire my waste though. That is crossing the line.