Has anyone ever heard of Obsessive compulsive disorder [in my opinion]at it's worst? You recieve awful images in your head of your loved ones being hurt, thoughts of how you would go about harming yourself or others despite the fact that you don't want to(and probably won't), etc. For example, when one of my friends was a kid, she somehow felt compelled to put her cat in the dryer. Fortunately, she didn't turn the dryer on, and only left her in there for about 5 seconds. She wouldn't harm any human or creature. I myself am always afraid to go to sleep when there are others around, because I freak out and think, "what if I sleep walk and hurt someone in my sleep because i'm having a bad, realistic dream?" I've never had a sleepwalking episode in my life...these particular obsessions are the reason I was diagnosed with OCD in the first place. I don't know if this makes any sense...but if it does, is there anybody out there who experiences something similiar?
Yes. I've always suffered from awful images in my head of horrible things. It used to haunt me every day, with the thought ... what if I lose control and end up doing these things. Probably why you find sleeping a bit of a problem, cos you don't feel under full control of what you're doing. But with a small attempt to console, I use physical energy to push these thoughts out, I completely avoid watching any form of horror (or anything that might conjure even more horrific images) or reading too much of that kinda stuff - and I'm slowly getting over it. I think you just kinda have to tell yourself that you can control it, even if you feel like you can't.
Oh and sometimes, especially when I smoked, I'd feel myself start to get up to do these things which freaked me out stupid amounts. So I stopped doing that.
This happens to me sometimes. I'll be high with my friends and say the most sinister fucked up things, without even thinking about them. "Imagine if you kicked a dog in the ribs, and it broke in two" for example. That's the only one I remember clearly, but I do it every time I get high almost. It doesn't bother me too much, except for the akwardness after I say it. Sometimes it's just a mental picture, maybe of someone getting their skin torn off, or something else gruesome. I think it's a release valve sort-of for my internalized rage and a reflection on my poor family relations.
i sometimes have this sort of feeling, but i've been diagnosed schizophrenic. the only way i can identify as feelin these things as compulsions, is if the "voices", as they say, are not present, but i feel powerless over my actions. however, that is one of a million other symptoms, so safe to say you're not schiz. probly, yeah, just OCD.
Below is an excerpt from my blog titled "Hey, I Want To Be Happy, Too!" I hope you find this passage useful in managing your cumpulsions. Please view my profile for a link to this blog and best of luck to you. " Anything you ever do or say begins with a thought. And, as long as you are human, you are most likely capable of maintaining only one thought at a time. Make each thought count. It all begins there. But, easier said than done, right? Here is a question for you: Do you ever feel like your mind is infected with some type of viral manifestation that controls your thoughts and moods? I do. In fact, we all do. Most everyone drifts off and has thoughts that are offensive to even themselves. Having complete control of your thoughts may be one of the most challenging goals you can accomplish. Please remember: You are not your thoughts. Unless you have achieved total enlightenment, you will most likely have a large range of thoughts throughout your daily life. Those various thoughts and feelings will most likely lead to a wide range of moods. Thoughts of anger, thoughts of peacefulness, thoughts that you will never share, thoughts that lead to guilt, probably even thoughts that could result in jail time. This is normal. All of these thoughts appear because your mind is conditioned from the day you were born to this exact moment. Every experience shapes your mind. This well runs deep. You can reach a major break-through in understanding your thoughts and habits by reflecting on your past. But, this is a very sensitive area that can be devastating and even counterproductive if done incorrectly. It is essential to maintain the right state of mind when performing this exercise. And, we are not quite there yet so we will elaborate on this area later. The good news is that the mind can be reconditioned from this point forward. The process thought recovery can begin immediately. How? Meditation. Don't run! Meditation is an amazing thing. I encourage anyone who has not attempted to meditate to try it. Meditation cures the mind and soul. The brain continues to work while we sleep. Therefore, meditation may be one of the only ways to truly give your mind the break it deserves. Calming the mind through meditation increases brain function, improves overall health and concentration, enhances the immune system, decreases muscle tension, reduces anxiety and the list goes on much longer. If you could contain all of the benefits of meditation into a pill, it would be a superpill. And, meditation can be for as long as you want at any time of day you choose. It's an amazing tool to improve the overall quality of life.The next posts focus on meditation and technique."
