The Anti Joke thread

Why couldn't the magician turn the computer on without using his fingers?

..Because the computer wasn't plugged up. -___-

 

A Jamaican, a Frenchman and a Canadian run into a bar.


The rest qualified for the final of the Mens high jump

 

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11, how many pancakes can fit on the roof?


Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

 

Why was the boy sad?

He had a frog stapled to his face

 

Two guys walking on a bridge, one of them had long hair, and the other guy was ok with that.

 

And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." John came fifth and won a toaster.

 

How do you make a tissue dance?

..Shake it with your hand.

 

Knock knock
Who's there?
Me.. Your parents just died in a car crash.

 

what'd the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

I lost my tractor!

 

what would you rather be or a house?

whats the difference between a cadillac?

did you walk to work or take a lunch?

 

An oldie but a goodie

Knock Knock
Who's There?
High on a hill was a lonely goatherd
Lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee who?

 

three normal white bartenders walk into a synagogue ,a church and a popeyes chicken.

 

Why did the farmer cross the road?

To catch the chicken.

 

What is omniscience?

 

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord?

my ass

 

Knock knock
whos there?
Orange
Orange who?
Agent Orange. Theres a strong possibility that you will develop ar least some of the following diseases:

- Diabetes
- Prostate Cancer
- Peripheral Neuropathy (acute and sub-acute) (one year)
- Spina Bifida in children of Vietnam Veterans
- Chloracne
- Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL) NEW!
- Non-Hodgkin?s Lymphoma, including any diagnosis of a lymphoma [except Hodgkin?s lymphoma], mycosis fungoides, and old terms such as lymphosarcoma, reticulum cell sarcoma and Sternberg?s sarcoma
- Porphyria cutanea tarda [one year]
- Respiratory cancers [30 years], including cancer of the
lung
bronchus
larynx
trachea
- Multiple myeloma Hodgkin?s disease Soft Tissue Sarcomas, including:

- Adult fibrosarcoma
- Dermatofibrosarcoma protuberans
- Malignant fibrous histiocytoma
- Liposarcoma
- Leiomyosarcoma
- Epithelioid leiomyosarcoma (malignant leiomyoblastoma)
- Rhabdomyosarcoma
- Ectomesenchymoma
- Angiosarcoma (hemangiosarcoma and lymphangiosarcoma)
- Proliferating (systemic) angioendo- theliomatosis
- Malignant glomus tumor
- Malignant hemangiopericytoma
- Synovial sarcoma (malignant synovioma)
- Malignant giant cell tumor of tendon sheath
- Malignant schwannoma, including malignant schwannoma with rhabdomyoblastic differentiation (malignant Triton tumor), glandular and epithelioid malignant schwannomas Malignant mesenchymoma
- Malignant granular cell tumor
- Alveolar soft part sarcoma
- Epithelioid sarcoma
- Clear cell sarcoma of tendons and aponeuroses
- Extraskeletal Ewing?s sarcoma
- Congenital and infantile fibrosarcoma
- Malignant ganglioneuroma
- Under the VA rule, soft tissue sarcoma does not include osteosarcoma, chondrosarcoma, Kaposi?s sarcoma, or mesothelioma.

 

Why did the deadhead buy a Skrillex album?
To try out new genres.