She was a young girl when I met her I was a few years older. Her name was Amanda and she wore only old band t-shirt and ripped jeans with old clogs. I was wearing a laced shirt that was black and a long velvet skirt with combat boots. We met up at a club for girls who liked other girls. She was twenty one and I was twenty eight. I danced with her to The Cure. We end up going home in my old Buick. My apartment was shared by a roommate named Izzy who was asleep and in bed with a cold. Amanda and I made love until the morning and then she was gone. A year later I was seeing my husband Frank when I bumped into Amanda who was with a guy named Tom. My Frank noticed a strange look in Amanda's eye's. I noticed a ring on her hand. She took me aside and told me her family was Catholic and she had gotten married to Tom. She wore sweater from the Gap and Mom jeans with sneakers. Her hair had been long and wild when I met her now it was short and bobbed. I was shocked. I was wearing Frank's Pink Floyd shirt and old jeans with combat boots. Frank is older and is bald and a long beard and 6'0. I met him through friends. I could not take anymore so I left. Ten years later I found she had five kids and was pregnant. Tom worked as a lawyer. Frank and I were married with two girls named Wild Rose and Tiger Lilly. I bumped into Amanda she has a black eye and ran when I saw her. I cry when I think of her. I guess that she got what her parents wanted.
Liked the fact you held such a short thing together. Her black eye, and the closer. "I guess that she go what her parents wanted." Lots of little content/structural problems that are easy to fix and would make it better. The final sentence, for example, should read, "I guess she got what her parents wanted." "We danced to the Cure." Just craft stuff, less is better. Solid though.
