The 1 Date Theory...

So, how many women here or men that have heard women say, " I Can Tell After ONE Date If We're Going Anywhere ".

What is this bs?

Now I'm not on the dating scene, so thankfully I don't have to hear this crap, but it pisses me off when my friends get bolted by girls who think they know everything.

One date doesn't indicate everything, it's impossible.

This is the same issue with single women who refuse to go on dates with most men because they " don't want to waste their time ".

Now yes, as superficial as it sounds I think it's perfectly fine for hotties to refuse fat slobs a date, but some women are just snobby that they don't date stranger, hear this?

A lot of women only date men who their girlfriends say are " good ".

So anyway, this comes to the point of THE date.

First year University was a whirlwind for me in dating, I must have dated over 30 girls in the 7 months I was there.

Now, of all those girls I never had a girl tell me no 2nd date if I wanted a 2nd date ( some dates were really bad, no connection, and neither of us were into it ).

What I got from this is that most girls in fact DO NOT " know " after a single date, they simply pull that bullshit when the guy doesn't want a 2nd date.

I would like to hear some arguments from women that think " they know " after one date.

Especially if you meet a guy for the first time and then go on a date 2 days later, pray tell how you " know " he's good or not?


lol...

 

My bf and I went on a date and i knew right from the beginning he was MR right. it was not BULL SHIT i could tell by the way he presented himself how he treated me the way things flowed etc. Although it was long distance i had the choice to not believe him or believe him. We MSNED emailed talked on the phone everything for months on end. Finally after i was done school i visited his family, he got to know my family my nephews dad sister and after 8 months he lived with me, he proposed to me we now have been happily married for 3 years together 6 yrs it does happen.

 

No offense, but you met him in your 30s.

I think by that age people are more inclined to thing a date could be " the one ".

It doesn't " happen ", a lot of girls in their late teens and early 20s think they met " Mr. Right " and then it doesn't go well, but then they just ignore it and when they DO meet " Mr. Right " they act like nothing bad happened.

How bout you show some insight on your romance before your 30s?

Again, no offense, but I'm sure your hubby wasn't the first guy you though " might be the one ".

 

Don't date. Hang out. Problem solved.

 

Preach on brotha! You can get a pretty good idea of what people are like from a date, but definately not enough to tell if he/she is the one. People have a lifetime full of experiences, changing philosophies, etc. And to try to squeeze all that onto a presentable plate in one date, lol.

 

I'd say your right Max, I've thought that I was with "the one" a few times, and I don't really think it's possible to tell from one date.

Something that should be considered is that normally on your first date that your putting your best self forwards, not the real you, not the you who leaves plates out and never does laundry.

I think you can tell if you really like the person, but not if you could marry them.

 

No my age is wrong for a reason Max.. i'm not even 30. I was 22 when i met my bf now husband

 

Cherea - I like your style….! I find that there is a lot of pressure when people go on dates… expectations… impressions etc. When you are hanging out like friends or whatever, the real you tends to come out and that’s what I’m more interested in – this takes time. It’s very hard to understand the real person only after a few hours.

But I do agree, how could you possible know for sure whether they are ‘the one’ or not, from first dates? You have no idea what the person has to offer. I think that most people have a tendency to make that judgment based on whether they feel a spark or connection during that first date, not to say such feelings can’t develop over time though. Usually that feelings of high or excitement is due to lust, and no so much ‘knowing’ if someone is ‘the one’.

 

Ahh, then get back to me in 10 years if you're still married.

I lost faith in " true love " a while ago because I've seen first hand the greatest couples break up.

The ones that last are the smart ones, and they last out of loyalty and dedication to themselves and their children ( if they get to that point ).

What too many people of today fail to realize is that love, as it is defined in the mainstream, rarely lasts, and by that I mean, it can be over within 10 years.

What separates our generation from the ones in the 50s and all the old couples that are celebrating their 50th anniversaries is that for centuries love was seen as a youthful experience, and that in time, it would be replaced by undying loyalty.

Now people just want to fuck.

It just pisses me off when I have serious convos with girls my age about relationships and they go off like they know everything.

I laugh to myself because those are the kind of girls that end up filing for divorce because their partner has " changed ".

And yeah, like all men, I have always put more effort in the first month of a relationship, not that I let myself go after, but certainly once things are established I'm not going to be the " perfect " man, god damn, and every woman that I was with for more than a month, including my fiance right now, have also " gone down " so to speak.

Ever heard of 9 1/2 weeks?

 

The feeling is mutual. :cheers2: However, I will say this: shy guys like myself often tend to act like friends when they want more. It's still important to flirt and show affection when you're hanging out.

But dates themselves have no appeal to me. I don't feel one person should wine and dine (try to impress) another if they are mutually interested.

 

So i only have to get back to you in 4 years sweetie!! I have a 12 y/o and a 10 y/o. I would never divorce . MY WHOLE famly is divorced except me!! SAD! eh?

 

Yap, and that's why I don't like the idea of a relationship. Men are a bit like politicians: always seem perfect in the beginning, till they show their real selves and fuck things up (and I don't wanna be fooled)

 

Done and done. I agree completely.

Modern day dating culture is the bane of my existence. We're mass producing everything, including interpersonal relationships.

Why put all this pressure, hopes and expectations on something so simple as having a meal together, or whatever activity you've chosen? Why not just "go for a meal" or an ice cream or whatever the fuck? Why call it a "date" and make it something "special"?

As for the original question, I think it is naive and, frankly, quite stupid to think that you can know whether or not you are compatible with someone instantly.

 

Interesting take. Dates do have something to do with the objectification of our humanity: trying to find this perfect thing that matches pre-conceived specifications, before undergoing the material experience of connection.

 

yes, I can tell after one date if we're going somewhere. I rely on my intuition and sometimes I can tell right away that I don't want to go on past the 1st date. Now "going somewhere" doesn't necessarily mean that it'll lead to a deep intimate love affair. It only means that I can tell if it's going somewhere past the first date.

 

My dos centavos:

My first date with my wife, I didn't know that she was gonna be the one I would end up marrying. What I DID know was that I was definitely interested in a second date. I'm quite sure it was like that for her as well.

 

To clarify i think many females know after one date if it's NOT going to go anywhere. Some dates (the people not the event) are just so bad you know it'll never work out

 

Only females, huh?

 

well no not only females but since the question was about females my answer would naturally be about females.

 

Gotcha.