(about reconnecting with old and creating new relationships - this all happened during the few months following one of my closest friends' divorce - 2 years after mine and about 20 years after her mom's) Monique – an image of warmth and grace – maternal and wise with a searching soul. Millie – youth and growth – a fiery nymph who feels so grateful to the world for letting her be in it - as herself – for the first time. Me – a work in progress – I guess we all are that in this little family unit. We grow and change from day to day – on the weeks with the little ones, we play together – the children enjoying each other’s company and the freedom of new young faces and we adults rest in the happiness of our brood. Every other week we live solely as women – without their shining faces (and sometimes grubby hands) to illuminate our hearts – we take it upon ourselves to fill our days with discovery of our own young souls. We are all youthful today – not because of age or years – but rather the quest we find ourselves on together has given the shimmer of youthful discovery to each of us. To know ourselves primarily and each other secondly but somehow most importantly – to understand what it is to be a woman... what it is to be these three women. I have discovered my own femininity this summer. I have fallen in love with the human existence as a whole but most particularly in that which only a woman may know. We have the ability to love each other in a strange and secret way that men will never need to understand. Some of us feel shame for our weakness or softness but suddenly I realize that this “softness” which I can attribute to my own mother completely – is what women are. We are like a mist that can bend and surround one another until we are almost as one shifting beautiful pattern of colour. Our lives intertwine like so many thorny vines – the bond is deceptively strong despite outward appearances and to those who might try to dismantle it – we have our protection within the beauty of our nature – we can love like nothing else matters. We have become sisters to each other – mothers and daughters – we have each been the nurturer and the nurtured. Our life experiences could not likely be any more different. Our stages in life are as varied as the colour of our eyes and yet… our minds have met in such a way that I do not think we could know each other any more tomorrow than we do today – but we will somehow. We see only the beauty in this new stage of our relationship and we learn daily how to find more. Our little patio sessions are steeped in nicotine, tears, laughter…and thought. Not idle internal chitchat but real – purposeful thought and almost always out loud. We share what we have learnt about ourselves since our last talk and we always listen – we listen with as much attention and excitement as we speak which seems to me to be the most amazing sensation. We share traits that we have unearthed about each other’s natures and how we love this or that about life today – with delight we are exploring together. This delight comes from the happiness of company – of a joke told over and over (opium) food – of course – we are women after all, talk of men and how we love or hate them, asking those questions “what does it mean to be a mother – what does my mother mean to me – or my daughter”…but mostly I think we find safety in our travels because we are not alone. When each of us hit a difficult or lonely moment, we fall apart in our own way and then come home to one another to find a way together – sometimes we ask out loud but mostly we just know when direction is needed. This direction isn’t advice per say – but the relief that there are ears willing to listen (not just hear) and a heart willing to break for you if yours just can’t take it today. We are learning how to survive and thrive – more than that – we are learning how to love each other, ourselves and the world we share in a complete way – we see the sunshine as a gift for us to enjoy fully and rain as an opportunity to wait for the sunny days to come and to contemplate the warmth of those which have gone by. And we love - most of all – we always love. With much thanks and respect to my girls – kristie windley
