Ted Nugent is a ridiculous man.

New Ted Nugent Cologne Tested On ‘Every Goddamn Animal We Could Find’

ALPENA, MI—Ted Nugent held a press conference Monday to unveil his new signature fragrance "Heartland," which the veteran rocker touted as the most extensively tested cologne in history. "We tested that sumbitch on ferrets, weasels, deer, elk, squirrels, bison, trout, crickets, gibbons, iguanas, donkeys, capybaras, koalas, hyenas, penguins, woodpeckers—every goddamn animal we could find," Nugent said. "And, just to be extra-certain it was safe for consumer use, we injected it into a kitten's bloodstream, sprayed it on otters with open wounds that we inflicted, and forced cows to drink it through their nose. We also squirted it in a duck's eyes. Then we ran out of cologne and just started punching the duck." The cologne, now available in stores, features an ivory bottle stopper and comes in a genuine tiger-skin pouch.

 

are you lying? thats rediculous

 

i can't tell if he was trying to be funny or actually serious

 

I wouldn't doubt it--he's the prick that brags about beating up people with long hair.He deserves a good ass-kickin'.

 

you're an idiot. Usally I find ted to be quite an ass. But this was one of the few times I found him to be great. A genious...excellent.

 

Lying? I never claimed anything besides that of Uncle Ted being a ridiculous man.

That article was entirely satirical... but when I first read it, I thought it was true because.. well, Ted Nugent would be one to do that. He did carve his name into someone's arm with a bowie knife.

 

I think it's obvious who that was meant for....Somethings that come out of that man's mouth are just down right obnoxious. What's more obnoxious is that he has a fragrance. WTF is with every celebrity under the sun having a fragrance line? Wait I know....$$$$. I'm sure Ted Nugent's professional interest has always been in fragrences...

 

He doesn't really have a fragrence line.

Simmadown, hoss.

 

SAGINAW, MI—According to JC Penney men's-department sources, rocker Ted Nugent talks that way even when buying socks. "What color socks do I want? I want every damn color, plus a whole bunch of colors that don't even exist," Nugent told sales associate Jonathan Alexander. "Life is too short, man. Whether it's socks or shoes or whatever, you gotta bite into life like it's a great big ol' hunk of bison. Otherwise, you wake up and suddenly—poof—you're fat and old, and you never had any friggin' fun. And if you're not having fun, you may as well move to Iraq or Cuba or some other hellhole where there ain't no good times to be had." Nugent added that that's the way he sees it, and that if you don't like it, you can kiss his lily-white ass.

 

Thanks-compliments are hard to come by these days.

 

where there pictures with this article?

if there were he must be telling the truth...i mean pictures don't lie.

 

yeah, that whole photoshop thing is a myth.

 

i really don't believe that sarcasm is called for.
i mean this is a serious topic and a serious forum.
oh....wait.....

:lol:

 

AH the Great Ted Nugent.

 

Leave your cares behind
Come with us and find
The pleasures of a journey to the center of the mind

(CHORUS)
Come along if you care
Come along if you dare
Take a ride to the land inside of your mind
Beyond the seas of thought
Beyond the realm of what
Across the streams of hopes and dreams
Where things are really not

But please realize
Youll probably be surprised
For it's the land unknown to man
Where fantasy is fact
So if you can, please understand
You might not come back

(CHORUS)

How happy life could be
If all of mankind
Would take the time to journey to the center of the mind
Would take the time to journey to the center of the mind
Center of the mind

 

aaaaahahaha

 

And Ted says that drugs had no influence on any of the music that he wrote or performed. Yeah, right!

 

ugh.

 

Ted's always been an ass. The hilarious thing is that he considers himself a neo-conservative and gets lauded by some of them. Pretty good for a guy whose initial claim to fame was how many underaged girls he'd screwed.

And the NRA's behind him, shows you how messed up that organization has gotten.

 

The Nuge is my hero.


My mom's first concert was seein' him live. I crack up every time I see the tickets.


...But in all seriousness, I respect the man. He does what he wants, and he never halfasses it. He has convictions and he'll fight you in the name of 'em, which is a lot more (and better) than a lot of people can say.

You people get too uptight about shit.