Taking last name in marriage

While reading a website that I frequent, I came across a statistic about Women taking Mens last names in marriage.

Apparently 70% of American's believe a woman SHOULD take the mans last name, and 50% think it should be a LEGAL REQUIREMENT! Wow...

What do you think?

 

I think it is mostly a case of wishing for simplicity and thus wanting to stick with the "standard" that is present.

If the "standard" is dropped then which last name do you choose?

The father's? The mother's? Both? Why? Do you make up a new one? Perhaps a son keeps the father's last name and does the daughter keeps the mother's last name? If both, which comes first? Alphabetically? What happens when two people each with two last names marry each other? Keep the first of each? If you do that and also alphabetical then slowly all last names will work their way to being AAA...

And on and on...

Or, we can just keep the standard and not worry about changing something.

I think that is why most prefer to stick with the standard.

Also, I think it is possible that in general people do not despise tradition in the general sense. I would wager that most do not see the passing on of a surname through the father as being problematic and thus might see an attempt to change it as an attack of something they do not dislike and find it annoying.

The tradition bit might have something to do with the wish for making it a law.
Or maybe they think it could minimize squabbles and give clear direction to keep parents from fighting over something (they, being the voters, would consider) stupid. Or with respect to being law perhaps they didn't think through how that may affect those who wish to change their names, etc.

Me, I am the only one left to carry one the (last) name of my father who has passed away. I know it meant something to him and thus it means something to me.

 

In many places you can both legally take an entirely new last name. That's what I'd like to do :hat:

 

Who needs marriage, anyway?

I say keep the name....Makes for an easier divorce.

 

I will definitely take my husband's last name when I get married, but it shouldn't be a legal requirement.

 

My mother kept her own name when my parents married. This was at a time when it was very uncommon to do so. It caused confusion all the time at school and such because me and my mother had diffrent names. Still I think it should be people's choice, it seems downright un-american to legally require name changing.

 

heh, here in quebec we have the opposite problem... When a couple gets married, the new wife can't take her husband's last name, even if she wanted to.. Even if she applies for a legitemate name change.. Government won't allow it. Which makes for some extremely complicated situations.

Here's a story summing it up:

http://www.canada.com/topics/news/national/story.html?id=72ddc06b-4660-4b92-8b92-3a26ae24b377&k=5969


It's rediculous... And it's been this way since 1981.

I'd understand if couples were given the option as to what they'd like their last name to be after they wed, but to not allow a name change is the silliest thing I ever heard.


The province tried so hard to accept women as equals that they actually gave women less options on what they can do with their own name.

 

Yeah that is just as ridiculous!

 

I think it doesn't cost me a dime to have it changed back since our marriage did not last.
He was pissed I wouldn't take it too. I'm sure glad I didn't, one less thing to fix post marriage.
I felt/feel it's draconian, & can be done away with if that's the choice.

 

I don't plan on marrying. But I think it should be an option to change your name.


Though I would like it to be that guys change their name to the girls as well. Both sides should have the option.

 

Both sides do have the option.

 

I was speaking culturally.

 

I think my girlfriend is going to take my name when we do eventually get married. I would kinda like to each get a new last name, but I feel obliged to my father and grandfather to carry on this one =P


Anyways, I think there should be no regulation or restriction of who changes their name, if they hyphenate, combine, or completely change the names or what not.

 

Then it's just a matter of not letting other people jerk you around.

 

I don't know and I don't care. My fiance has no problem with me keeping my last name, and the reason I'm not changing it is because the last name he goes by isn't really his last name anyways.

Besides, that's an American's statistic. Enough said.

 

of course it should be a legal requirement ... THE WHOLE POINT of marriage is tradition! to take the last name is a tradition!

To change and modify your Tradition so it is customized to your preference and individuality more or less completely destroys the whole purpose of traditional values and rules!

It is like a catholic having sex before marriage ... whats the point in remaining a catholic? you have already went against your tradition

Or a hindu eating a cow .. even once .. whats the point in following the other rules of your tradition?

Or a muslim eating pork .. you get the point

There are exceptions .. e.g a catholic is raped before marriage - then obviously you can still follow your tradition

Or a hindu is force feed a cow; or a muslim is tricked into eating pork - im sure their God would forgive them if they are innocent to the whole thing


My Point is this - in 2009 .. most people no longer care about their traditions .. if you give up one part or change a part of your tradition to suit you ... its no longer a tradition .. it is a preference ... and since marriage is a tradition ... to change it in any sense completely changes the meaning in the eyes of your tradition.

its nonsense to pick and choose what parts of your tradition you like and dislike.

 

Marriage has been changing ever since conception.
Doing anything only because of tradition is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

All tradition means is "doing what other people have done". There's no reason for it.

 

you are 100% correct; you have to agree that Marriage is the tradition; as in your definition "doing what other people have done" therefore to get married .. it is tradition.

So we are both in agreement that marriage is completely stupid .... even without discussing the name-change part.

 

i don't want to change my last name when i get married, but i may end up changing my mind. never know.

 

No we aren't.
You can get married without doing what people have done before you. You can get married without oppressing your wife, you can get married without cheating on each other or getting divorced like the traditional 20th century American marriage, you can get married in a couple states and get married to the same gender unlike those before us. You can get married without taking a name.
There are certain advantages to getting married. Financial advantages, legal advantages, and even social advantages.

Marriage isn't for everyone though, and getting married just because it's what other people do, I think we would definitely agree is completely stupid.