Me and my partner are seriously thinking about getting involved in swinging with other couples. Its one thing we've not yet tried although talked about a fair bit. Be intterested in hearing fom peopl who have tried it, who does it and what the experience was like for you?
Well personally me and my boyfriend have an "open" relationship but we've been to swing clubs before and we really didn't like the atmosphere. It just felt too dangerous to just go with compleate strangers like that but I've seen pleanty of people do it and I think it's perfectly find if you're okay with it. Mostly me and my boyfriend have sex with people we know well (usually friends of ours) so we know that they can be trusted. We mostly like to bring in one extra guy because my boyfriend is bi-sexual and though I'm very open I'd rather have another guy verses another girl since it's my preferrence. Sometimes we do it seperate sometimes together. Whatever is floating our boat that night. First thing you should do when you have an open relationship is to set some ground rules. What are things you are okay with what are some things you aren't? Discuss and don't be afraid to say anything to your partner! Also it might help to know what you're looking for that night. Some flirting or a quick feel then back to your place with just your partner or do you want someone with you? Do you want one other person and is that person a boy or girl? Are you intrested in two other people and do you want to watch, go seperatly, or all together, or what? Best to know all kinds of things like that before hand I think. The first night at a swing club should be some simple casual flirting and scoping the place out. There are sections or floors (depends on the place) that will have areas with orgies which you could watch as well or join in but it's best to take it really simple and easy. Something like this should never be rushed or jumped into ya know? After you get back on the first night discuss with your partner what you thought. Was it scary for them? Do they hate it and want to back out? Not what you thought? Or heck yeah let's do that again! Make sure you are open with each other or else it's going to sour your relationship. If one likes it and the other doesn't it's best to compensate for the partner who doesn't, since it wouldn't be fair to them other wise. And be sure to play it safe! Protection and all that jazz is good and if anyone feels unconfrotable for any reason at all BACK OUT! You can always try again next time, ya know? No harm done in taking it slow. Also remember an open relationship doesn't fix a broken one but usually enhances a good one.
Thanks for good advice. We have talked and are both keen to try somthing different. We are looking to find a local couple through the net rather then join a club. There are plenty of sites where you get people advertising. You can always meet and get to know them first rather than jumping in with complette strangers
Raven... good explanation. My wife and I do the same. We have been in open relationship for last 25 yrs. We have learned not to be jealous of each other ... have lot of trust ...and be open and talk all we can. For us its easier to do a 3some than a 4some. We are both hetero ... so the one out just watches and wait for its time ... no lies no cheating its by mutual agreement. It does not happen every weekend. It happens maybe 4 times a year ... now we have two close friends with whom we share sexual play. Its nice and very rewarding for us. Agree with RavenTheDarkAngel ... we do not like swinger clubs for same reasons. We prefer to consider ourselves in "open marriage" rather than "swingers". We love to meet open minded couples and singles and let the friendship develop gradually to the point of sharing sexually. It is very thrilling for both of us and we enjoy. Majority of our friends are Open ...and age is not of importance. We have a couple of younger friends who like to get together with us because they feel more confortable. Any questions, pls feel free to ask
I have had threesomes with two former partners, but my partner now has'nt, and neither of us has 'swoped' with another couple before. Its somthing we have both fantasised and talked about though. I certainly enjoyed the threesomes and thats somthing my parntner, whos bi-curious, is also eager to try. Its somthing we are both happy to try but do feel it needs to be with people we have got to know and not with stangers.
What about jealousy issues? Personally, I would be really turned on at the thought of my bf being with someone else, but furiously jealous at the same time.
Perhaps if you know you are going to get jealous you should not consider it. It may be fun but is it worth wrecking you relationship over?
Exactly! Another thing to consider is that while the IDEA of bringing in other partners can be arousing, the REALITY of it might be completely different once in that situation. If you're going to get involved with others, then you might want to be prepared to stop immediately if the partner starts feeling awkward about it. My fiance and I have discussed this before and since it's something she's never done, I'd rather her be first to engage in sexual relations to help prevent the jealousy factor on her part. We've taken the open relationship off the table for now, but are willing to talk about it at a later time. But if it never happens, I won't shed a tear over it. And if your partner decides it's not the thing for her/him, then enjoy each other all the more.
I don't think it's a good thing for people who get overemotional and jealous when they see their bf/gf with others. But, if it works for you, hey, go ahead.
I agree with Raven. I don't feel comfortable at a swing club, either, simply because I'm in a room full of strangers. And the atmosphere of a swing club doesn't lend itself to people getting to know each other at the human level (Neither do bars, for that matter, unless you're meeting people there whom you already know). I'd much rather be part of a group of friends I know who enjoying playing with each other. -- Skeeter
Hey To even think about making this work for you, you must have implicit trust in your partner and vice versa. If there are any issues of distrust or jealousy between you. this could just light the touch paper. I feel it would be best if you are very open and honest with each other about all issues in your relationship. If you are open with each other and communicate honestly, you should be fine. Blessings
