Well, i've had depression for about 2 years now. it's more of a mental perception and genetics thing more than, i'm seriously opressed and hate life. people in my family have a history of depression, and so that problably helped it along. i should say now that i'm not poor, neither of my parents have really ever wronged me, and i'm not bullied all that much in school. my perception on things is really sad, honestly. great things, i just tend to look at as worthless temporary moments of non-sadness. bad things i tend to see as heartbreaking. i've since gotten better, one of my friends has depression as well and we sort of lean on each other which is very helpful. anyways, i was on zoloft last year. you may have heard about that particular anti-depressant can cause suicidal tendencies in teenagers. well it did for me, and i almost did. i had opened up a bottle of sleeping pills, and written out a suicide note thanking everyone that was important to me. i was suprisingly calm, but then i noticed that my mom had just drove into the driveway. i got scared and put back the sleeping pills, and went over to my friends house to cool off. however, i forgot about the note (letter) i had left. my mom happened to find it and read it, put 2 n' 2 together and then we just sorta worked it out. now i'm posting this in hopes that some other depressed person might read this and realize that they're other ppl that can sympathize. see, with me i'm more caught in a permanent pensive mood. gulity, oh the guilt! i'm a white, middle-class, child who's been raised wonderfully with nothing but love surrounding me. but i just feel too numb too appreciate it like i should, give this to someone else who needs it and would appreciate it. well, i'm kind of weird. i just love people too much, so much in fact that when i'm wronged them i feel so damn sad. it's like i realize too much how beautiful everybody is, and when they make mistakes it's just too saddening to me. but it's all right! and that's the moral here, it'll all be cool.
please don't hurt yourself, usually people who want to commit suicide are looking for a change in their life, death is permenant and you'll get there one day eventually. no need to rush things, if you don't enjoy your situation, change it.you should read a book called "the power of now" by echart tolle (i think i spelled his name right). but bottom line your perseption could change for the better if you looking for it. and if you don't like to read, it's also on tape. i found it enlightening.
well I think just by seeking help you're already on the right track I don't know shit about depression but, I can tell you that ultimately you control your perception, just look for the ggod in everything and don't mind the bad as much
your 14 dude, life will get better, people actually do care about you even if you dont believe it, i knew this kid who was about your age who hung himself last year my entire high school was mourning him. remember people who see you dont know whats going on inside your head so you may wanna give people as well as yourself the benefit of the doubt. its normal for you to fuck things up, its called living. also know life isnt suppose to be great and no one whose normal is suppose to always be happy. personally id wanna live a crappy life than not live at all.
It doesn't seem like he's asking for help from anyone here. He's telling people that they're not alone and that others can sympathize. I hope your life gets better, and that you can see the good in things. I can relate to so much of what you said.
i don't know how relevant this is but, peple will pick up on anything, to pick aprt...but they hardly ever look at the hear of the matter...they hardly know how sad they really are.
yeah, i'm not looking for advice really. i mean, i'm don't even consider suicide as an option anymore. the point of that was more, it'll get better just give it time sorta thing. depression is something that's incredibly difficult to understand unless you have it or at one time did. idk, life just all around improved for me. so don't sympathize to me or anything, i guess i just wanted people to realize that even though someone's life might seem great but it doesn't mean they don't have problems. k, thanks.
I know you said that you think it's genetics, but is there anything that bothers you in your life?? Or maybe a lack of something? I have been somewhat depressed since I was your age and I am now 21. I have considered the posibility that it may be a medical condition as opposed to a state of mind, but I think it's just perspective. I happen to be a sympathetic and compassionate person by nature and I feel other people's pain. That has been very traumatizing. Although it has caused me to grow old while still being physically young. It's made me stronger. I have adifficult time relating to most people because of this, and it causes me to feel isolated, and in-turn sad. I have had a lot of love in my life, but I have also lost quite a bit andf felt a lot of pain. Your still really young, and you have to get to know yourself. I went through some counselling and that helped quite a bit, but before I started I didn't know I needed it, until I broke down of course. I find that talk helps quite a bit, but I find that a good listener is hard to find.
brother, i beg you, please do not ever do this. My boyfriend commited suicide not more than a month ago. He said he was tired of causing people pain. If only he'd known that what he did has been the ultimate source of my sorrows. I have never been so hurt, in so much pain. Killing yourself does nothing. Not for you, and not for the ones you leave behind. It isn't the answer. As a former cutter and Zoloft taker, i can promise you that life will get better. It might take a long time, and it may seem like the fight isn't worth it, but it ALWAYS is in the end.
