Suffering Is A Choice

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/some-assembly-required/201401/pain-is-inevitable-suffering-is-optional

http://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/types/logotherapy

https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1473428642&sr=1-1&keywords=man%27s+search+for+meaning

 

Well I chose to enter this thread



Sorry but thread was kind of asking for someone to say something dumb like that

 

"Oh Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins"
- Sioux Indian prayer

 

I guess I could go to the emergency oomph but trust me...I didn't choose to twist my wrist.

 

There's a difference between physical pain and suffering.

 

Well shit now I am cured! I will not reach out for help,even though I need it. Thank you so much.

 

Could you please explain.

Can a person be both?

I need to know which one I would be.

 

There are three categories of things to observe in a detached way: thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations. These three things are temporary. You can let them come and go, taking the role of watcher. Suffering is different. Suffering is anything you resist that causes turmoil. Suffering stems from resistance.

 

Pain is a sensation such as realizing the wood stove is hot and jerking your hand off it, while suffering is cussing out the wood stove and exaggerating the pain.

 

Yes, grieving for you wife is suffering, while enjoying pain is not suffering, but a different kind of conditioned response to pain. Some people run ten miles a day in part for the endorphin's the pain and exercise release which is along the lines of using an opiate. Suffering is just part of life and not completely avoidable, but there's a huge difference between suffering all the time and suffering once in awhile. With your wife, the very act of not allowing yourself to show your suffering around her probably made it worse. Sometimes its important to share our suffering so we can work through it and recognize the genuine love that it can represent.

 

By showing her any suffering I'm going through, to me shows weakness and not being strong for her. If I'm her rock wouldn't it hurt her to see me reduce myself to sand?

 

I think this is an interesting topic..so i am giving you all my 2cents here..
suffering is a reaction to pain..and i think it can disturb our inner harmony...
not 1 of us is or has been without suffering in her/his life..
fact is==how do we deal with it?we can do in different ways...
for some of us suffering is a lasting thing,because the feelings are too strong within ourself...
in my opinion mental suffering is the worst pain there is...a bodily pain goes...comes...goes..
so is suffering a choice?NO..If i get cancer in 3 years..it is NOT my choice..
in life we have to make choices..do we suffer and let it happen?or do we fight against it?
we often judge ourselves or judge others..suffering is a state of mind..like being a hippie is or can be...
I will try to give more of my thoughts later on..I need to think clearly..often i can't..
suffering is often a reaction to a situation of our past life,a broken heart,a life lost;a disease and so on..
grief is a result of suffering...and if we feel guilt..It makes it all worser...
(will be continued) :bandana:

P.S..I love you all..If negativity sets in...give it a kick in the bud...chase it away..get over it...
negativity made me stronger..I am who i am now...only few people know the real Tiger
I do wish you all a good day...and for those who suffer...you're gonna be O.K

 

The weeping willow is neither proud nor tall or even particularly useful, but holds together river banks when even the mighty oak is washed away by a river a tears. For our wounds to heal we must first be willing to face the pain of cleaning them knowing there will be plenty of opportunities for a show of strength later and that the self-evident truth remains that the worst possible tragedy is to become afraid of the light, the worst possible tyranny is to deny the evidence of our own senses and sensibilities, and the worst possible failure is losing faith in our personal journey. To become aware we must first be willing to accept our ignorance, to have a friend we must first desire to be a friend, to appreciate more of the humor and beauty in life we must first discover them in ourselves, and in order to truly live we must first embrace life more fully. For no man is an island nor can he be the measure of all things lest he first embrace virtue as its own reward and wonder as the beginning of wisdom. Without faith in ourselves and one another to work through what needs to be cleansed we cannot allow any healing to begin.

 

Thank you for taking the time Wu Li Heron. I understand. I'm going to have a long discussion with my wife about my feelings. I will surrender to her and let her know how much I love her. She has the right to know my fears and worries so she can help me get through my pain and suffering, but not to take away from hers.

I really appreciate your words and analogies. I'm looking forward to speaking to her about my fear, more than I ever have.

Thanks..

Pete.

 

It is my privilege to share my thoughts and feelings and how I learn to face my own suffering. Often I tell people, "When the student is poorly prepared, the master is rudely awakened!" We are all our own worst pupil and greatest master and instant karma is always gonna getcha baby when you think you already know all the answers!

 

I anxiously wait for part two of your post. The first part was very healing and compassionate.

Thank you for your thoughts.

Like you said ....to be continued

 

Thanks Leo and WU LI and all the others in this thread for sharing your views on this topic...

Suffering is sometimes unavoidable due to emoitional feelings ,frustrations,loss of self worth etc..especially mental suffering i mean...
I feel the injustice i see in this modern nowadays made me suffer..and that's NOT my own choice...
it hits my brains sometimes to notice that people put value judgments onto each other and start inflicting suffering on others
in fact..these kind of people judge themselves because of insecurity within themselves...
nobody is perfect...perfection does not exist...negativity is never our own choice..
unless we drown ourself in mental problems...why is it...that pain and suffering??is such a burden on our mind?
i have known cases here of extreme bullying,extreme gossiping....why do people do this?
if gossipers share their negativity with others and target a victim...then the victim knows what pain and suffering means...
in a way i disagree that suffering can be a choice..in my opinion it's not
we should learn to take responsability towards ourself,our fellow men and sisters...
and even towards nature and the animal world..they suffer as well..
our own actions proof who we are..nobody takes suffering as a choice...maybe BDSM lovers do(hihi)?
if we built on repect and trust towards other we make a step forward in our life..self respect is the answer.
it will not lead to worthlessness,insecurity and asking ourself?who am i?why me?
let's make life for what is..life is already short enough...why suffer?
Tiger

 

Lao Tzu said, "Habits are the end of honesty and compassion, the beginning of total confusion!" Suffering is related to memory and isn't just something we make up in our heads, but goes down to the cellular level. It is networking systems logic with a flock of chickens providing the classic example. Chickens peck away at one another to enforce the rule that they all pay attention to whoever has the better memory because thinking is not the strong point of frightened and angry chickens. When the flock is content their pecks are light and mere reminders, but when times are hard they can become vicious and this is our cellular response as well. In fact, our memories themselves are organized in this fashion which is why PTSD and other disorders can become so debilitating. However, one of the advantages of organizing in this fashion is that, in emergencies, they can reorganize on the fly while attempting triage and trying to figure out what to do next.

For example, if I hit someone over the head and give them a mild concussion a natural response is for them to withdraw and become depressed giving their body time to heal and figure out how to respond. They will literally lose interest in doing anything which is how their cells enforce that they not damage themselves further until they have time to heal. However, if the damage is severe their natural response is to withdraw into the nearest corner and attack anything living that comes near them. Even when the damage is so severe they are about to die and its clear that nobody is actually home anymore this will be their response because it is a cellular level response and not merely ego or whatever. Suffering can be what helps us to survive, but thriving requires more than just true grit and determination and knowing how suffering works can be the beginning of a new life.

 

Interesting. I just happened to see this thread....so what do mean gossiping here...? You mean what people are saying about politicians....? par for the course, I think....or is it more personal than that? If so, it must be in chat or pm's as i do not see that.

I never liked full time gossipers....and i can smell them a mile away.....It is one thing if someone wants to get something off of their chest to try to deal with something.....and maybe that is not the most mature way to do things sometimes...i have been known to be in this camp a few times....but people who just gossip to bring someone else down...i don't bother with them...as I might be their next victim...i don't know why people do what they do. It is petty and makes problems for other people for no reason.

I have been the victim of gossip before....but I can always tell...all of a sudden people who were talking to me stop or their tone changes.....and I know something is up and I usually know from who and what it is all about, also.....and I have to think...ok, back in the second grade for some, I guess....and I let it roll off my back and say...ok....you want to listen to some bull shit gossip about me...then I am not really losing anything....so I move on and shrug it all off.....some people are just vindictive that way for whatever reason they may have, I think....

 

This is also very interesting and believable...cellular level for many things.....