Such a turn around

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Xac, Jun 6, 2006.

  1. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    I was embracing my own slow death, my demise, i pretended it was ok, it was actually very slow suicide, too weak to live, too scared to die, i sat some where inbetween and everyday i would smoke death.

    I woke everymorning put the biggest cone piece in the bong and packed it full of rolling tobacco (no thats not code) it was the biggest rush and every now and then my mind would stop ticking, it was like for 5 seconds i was completely sane... well i havent smoked either (now that is code) for awhile and briefly while out having lunch everything stoped, i could see again, my mind stoped ticking, now i just want to be stronger and better... now im rolling sober... it's my last chance at a decent life... such a turn around.
     
  2. indian~summer

    indian~summer yo ho & a bottle of yum

    awesome man, congrats :D
     
  3. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    I haven't quit anything, im still very much in that stage of still quiting, can't let my self go ya know, cant say i've quit, im still quiting.

    A little 4:20 every month or so would be ok but this everyday bullcrap has got to stop...

    P.S. thank you :)
     
  4. Dustinthewind

    Dustinthewind woopdee fucking doo

    thats wonderful, getting sober is hecka hard. Its something that you have to work on for the rest of your life.

    the one time a month just leads to more than one time a month for some people.

    good luck and congrats!! :)
     
  5. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    Yeah i know, thats my biggest problem, but i think it would honestly make me happy if i could keep myself at once a month (or once every two months). my biggest problem is all my friends are stoners and it's easier that way... i get anxious going out so sitting around smoking is a preferance but i still get to be social, ironically i think its what gives me alot of my anxiety.
     
  6. Dustinthewind

    Dustinthewind woopdee fucking doo

    i feel so much better now that I am clean. (since july 2001)

    I was worried about the friends and the whole "they are doing it blah blah blah" if they are good friends they will respect what you are doing and back you. at least my friends did.

    although, a lot of my so called friends werent really good friends, just good drug friends, had nothing else in common other than scoring that next line of crank.
     
  7. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    Nah my friends are my friends, they're completely cool with it, they offer but never pressure, its more like i just get tempted, i know it sounds silly but 4:20 (yes im paranoid so im calling "it" 4:20... as if that werent obvious enough code with out my spelling it out in these brackets but none the less) is a real problem for me, it's the only substance aside... tobacco and Xanax i've had trouble with and i really do love being 'mellow' i do, but it causes me so much pain and heart ache it just not worth, now if i can do it once a month or less it doesnt get it the way.

    I think the problem is, with Xanax and cigs, i didnt really enjoy them, not like i enjoy 4:20... long hard road...they say you cant get addicted but hey gambling isnt physically addictive... man i must be a moron.
     
  8. Dustinthewind

    Dustinthewind woopdee fucking doo

    you are not a moron.
     
  9. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    No but i am now a caffine addict, but hey i can live with that... literally... if i keep smoking one, im going to end up on a breathing machine... if i keep smoking the other im going to be... well where i am now but in 20 years... which is a hell of alot sadder.
     
  10. fitzy21

    fitzy21 Worst RT Mod EVAH!!!!

    you can do it. theres people here who've quit and can help, but ultimately, you have to do it for yourself.

    and i agree, if they are your friends they should support you.
     
  11. Xac

    Xac Visitor

    Yeah my friends do support me quiting it's just that they all smoke... almost all the time so if i want to see them there is that constant temptation... and im not going to start preaching to them what to do... fortunatley one of my good smoking buddies is getting pretty sick of it to, so i can hang with him and not worry about temptation... the song wisemen by james blunt comes to mind for some reason.
     
  12. fitzy21

    fitzy21 Worst RT Mod EVAH!!!!

    oh i know about the temptation...i'm actually quiting my binge drinking. i just can't do it anymore. i can do 2-4 drinks and be happy now and my body isn't as young as it used to be when i drank in large quantities. i started when i was 13. i've only told a few friends of mine so far and they a little dissapointed because i was the leader of the group when we drank, but they support me, so its all good.
     
  13. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    congrats!!!!!!! I quit smoking weed and cigs...6 months ago now? and my lungs are thankful...though my mind and mental health is not. seriously though awesome keep it up
     
  14. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    Yeah when u quit pot that first moment of clarity is so rewarding! Congrats...it took me years later to quit ciggies...Boxing day last yr...so bout 6 months now!Feel so much better, but i still miss the feeling of smoking and that part of my self-constructed identity at times..Although it's also rewarding when u find out u dont have to construct an identity anymore because u can just exist comfortably as ur self
     
  15. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    i used to get terribly painful cramps while a smoker, and a month or two after i quit cigs i noticed all those menstrual cramps disapeared! Have u had a similar experience?
     
  16. clockworkorangeagain

    clockworkorangeagain femme fatale

    the new smoking laws will help u alot... Smokers are about to be out casts..hehe
    The new trend is QUITTING. Why not be on that band wagon? ;)
     
  17. hippychickmommy

    hippychickmommy Sugar and Spice

    Well congratulations to you Xac on your sobriety. And I hear you on the caffeine addiction. Unfortunately I'm highly addicted to caffeine, and have no intentions on quitting, and to be quite honest, I don't know if I could. Actually no, that's not entirely true, I know I could, but I don't want to.
     

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