Struggling with ED and pregnant.

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Apples+Oranjes, Jun 28, 2006.

  1. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    I missed my period this month and wrote it off, because I have been struggling with anorexia. I haven't reached a sufficiently unhealthy weight yet, so I was a little skeptical. Then I started getting cramps and some pinkish spotting and figured I must have been getting my period, just late. The cramps have been going on for three days and still no period.

    So last night I took two EPT tests and both said Pregnant.

    I'm in a terrible fucking state right now, because not only do I NOT want a child, but I am in no condition to be going through with a pregnancy being as undernourished as I am. I usually don't eat anymore than 500 calories a day or so.

    I want an abortion, and there are no questions in my mind or heart about it. I don't need to hear bashing, or lecturing, because I've already heard a great deal of that. I'm going to do, what I'm going to do... so if someone could give me a helpful response, rather than urging me not to get an abortion, that would be appreciated.

    I'm a little worried though, because I'm wondering if it's even safe to go through with an abortion while I'm not in the best physical condition. Like I said, I'm still FAIRLY healthy, but immune system hasn't been so great lately, considering I get infections super easily, and I'm not getting enough vitamins which is very evident by my recent easy bruising.

    I almost don't know which is safer, to be pregnant or have an abortion while I'm struggling with an ED... when you have an ED, you're really not safe, period, in any situation.

    If I went through with the pregnancy because it would be safer for me, I would do adoption. I'm 19, and dealing with an array of mental issues, and money problems, and in no condition to be a suitable parent. And neither is my boyfriend.

    I researched the complications a mother could have while pregnant and anorexic and it named: kidney failure, heart attack, and death. So... my guess is an abortion would probably be safer, but I'm not sure. I tried looking that up, but couldn't find anything.

    If anyone knows, please tell me.

    Anyway, I called my regular OBGYN today, and I can't even get in until July 11. I don't want to wait that long so I called the nearest Planned Parenthood, and the soonest they have is July 5. The lady was really nice, and offered me other locations in case I could get in sooner elsewhere, so I have to wait another hour to call this other place when it opens.

    I have had literally no morning sickness/upset stomach, painful breasts, or anything, except the cramping. Which I'm not complaining about.

    Anyway, so my main questions are:

    What sort of after abortion effects would I probably experience? I mean, anyone who has had an abortion, just sort of clue me in.

    Or any information you have otherwise... thanks.
  2. mamaboogie

    mamaboogie anarchist

    I know that you are going to get different answers based upon people's point of view about abortion itself. I would think that pregnancy would be much harder on your body and come with greater risks than a very early abortion. The sooner you have the abortion, the safer it is and the less chance of complications. No matter what you do, you gotta decide real soon. I loved being pregnant, but it really took its toll on my body (without having an eating disorder thrown in to the mix). If you aren't sure that you can properly take care of yourself and eat a healthy diet, I would think that continuing the pregnancy would not be very good for you or the fetus. ((((((hugs)))))) No matter, it won't be an easy decision to make, either way.
  3. lovelightlisa

    lovelightlisa Senior Member

    my mom's a nurse and also worked in an abortion clinic,
    so i'll tell you what i know about it...
    when not in good health, a pregnancy
    would be much worse to your body than an abortion,
    so if you don't want a child either that's defenitly the best choice.
    after an abortion you can feel a little weak,
    like you didn't eat enough and just, tired.
    i don't know how that will turn out in your situation.
    complications after an abortion, are less likely to have than after giving birth.
    and the abortion itself is supposed to feel like your having a heavy menstruation.

    good luck girl!
    i wish ya all the best :)
  4. RetroGroove_Grrl

    RetroGroove_Grrl I'm a big girl now

    babe, it wont do you or a baby any good if you have one when you arent ready and dont want to.

    an abortion isnt really going to matter in the scheme of your health, cant be worse than what youre putting yourself through already. Have you talked to your partner yet, maybe he can give you some emo support

    Go see a doctor hon. And look for another form of contraception.
  5. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    Thank you both of you for your responses.

    That's kind of what I was thinking, in terms of the safest route. I couldn't get in anywhere for a test and exam until Friday, and I don't want to wait that long so I'm just going to the hospital to find out today, to make sure I am pregnant, and if there are any complications I should be aware of before proceeding with the abortion [not abortion complications, but rather if there aren't already complications with the pregnancy itself]

    And I'll let you all know how that goes, and what happens... and probably ask for more advice or something. I'm not excited about getting an abortion, but I feel like in this case it's necessary. If I was in good health, I would at least go through with the pregnancy, regardless of whether or not I was prepared for a child, and if I wouldn't feel suitable of a parent for a child after having him/her I would do the adoption route...

    However this case is different, and it makes me sick to my stomach because either route I take is scary. The route of pregnancy would be dangerous... and the route of abortion is just well... unpleasant, and not something I ever wanted to do. But I'd take any mental anguish I might experience later, over risking my life and the like.


    Thank you both again, I really appreciate it, and thanks for the support.
  6. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    Thanks much...

    Yeah I talked to him right away... he's supportive of whatever I need to do and is concerned about my well being. He and my friend are taking me to the hospital in a couple hours since I can't get into the doctor soon enough.

    I was avoiding birth control, because I hate pills, they make me nervous... but after this experience... I think I'll stick with the pill.
  7. lovelightlisa

    lovelightlisa Senior Member

    you're gonna get through this girl :)
    and like retro said, talk to your partner,
    or your parents or friends, just so you won't feel all alone in this.
    it's hard to make these kind of decisions.
    but i'm sure in your heart you know what's the right thing to do.
  8. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

    Whatever you decide, I would suggest investing in some good multivitamins NOW. Assuming you go for an abortion, which it sounds like you're leaning toward, being on a multivitamin might help with some of the harsh effects on your body related to your malnutrition, such as the easy bruising. Whether or not you want to stay on them afterward, I imagine that would help toward making the abortion easier to heal from.

    If for whatever reason you decide to have the child, check yourself into a hospital immediately. Regardless of the risk to yourself, you have to think of the fetus/child/whatever you want to call it at this stage. It may wreak havoc on your body, but you're doing this to yourself by not eating. But, don't condemn a child to a lifetime of health problems. I'm not trying to sway you either direction, but it sounds like the research you've done has focused on YOU, not on the potential harmful effects of malnutrition on a fetus/infant/whatever. And that is equally important to consider in this decision.
  9. Aristartle

    Aristartle Snow Falling on Cedars Lifetime Supporter

    You can risk losing the baby if you don't get enough folic acid. I can tell you right now, that I know you are not getting enough folic acid given the current state of your eating habits.

    Please do go out and get some help dear.
  10. StonedTigress

    StonedTigress Member

    Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry to hear this. I have an eating disorder too, and I can't imagine how scary it would be to be pregnant too.

    I don't know much about abortions, but I had a firend that had one about a year ago. She was also dealing with an ED, and decided it would be best to not go through with the pregnancy. So I think it would be dangerous for you to keep the baby. Eating disorders are hard enough to deal with, so I'm sure you're going through hell right now.

    I hope all goes well with the procedure, good luck hun.
  11. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    (and here I thought ED was referring to erectile difficulties, oi)

    Multivitamins for sure

    try bumping yourself up to 600cal's a day at least until the abortion itself... your body needs to fortify it's immune system for the procedure
  12. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Like others have said, the abortion, especially if done early, will be easier on your body than trying to go through an entire pregnancy in the state you are in. Call every day at PP and see if they have a cancelation (they have a LOT of cancellations) and take the first appointment. No matter what you decide to do.

    I am so sorry you are having to go through this. ((((((((((((((A&O))))))))))))))))))))

    Blessings on whatever decision you make.
  13. nightwriter

    nightwriter Member

    **Big Big Hug**

    A pregnancy would be harder on your body than an early abortion.
    Try to get the proper nutrients as much as possible right now so you will heal well.

    It happens. It sucks. We're here for you.
  14. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    everyone else has given awsome advice
    DO get on some multi-vitamins, regardless. I have had anorexia, and even reading on those pro-ana websites, they all recomend being on a multi-vitamin anyway.
    The pregnancy would wreak havoc on your body, i think that you're making the best desicion under your circumstanses.
    hugs again
  15. barefoot_kirstyn

    barefoot_kirstyn belly flop

    actually, she has done the complete opposite. She is making this decision simply on the welfare of this embryo, not herself. Yeah, she knows that it would hurt her body, too, but her primary concern is for the health of that embryo so it doesn't grow to be a child with serious health problems and knows she deosn't have the resourses to support a baby.
  16. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    Firstly, yes I am more concerned about the child in me... I know that with my entire lifestyle, especially the lifestyle I'm leading now, and the lifestyle I was leading when I GOT pregnant is completely unhealthy, that it's going to have some affect on the baby. I'm not saying a baby with health problems doesn't deserve to live, but to me, that's more like suffering. I am concerned about myself TOO, and of course I am. I like my life, and I don't want to end it any time soon... I don't think that's selfish either, I think it's a survival instinct. I'm not saying that my life is MORE important, but it is equally important, I feel all life is equal.

    Most cases where babies are born when the mother has an eating disorder, die at/during birth, or shortly after. That's not something I want to put the baby through, nor myself.

    And is it selfish to think about myself? I am the one carrying the baby...without my health, or my life, the baby doesn't live. Honestly, if I could place this baby in a healthy mother who could take care of him/her in a healthy manner, I would, but that's not possible.

    An eating disorder isn't something I can just wake up one day and get over, and get myself to eat properly. And it isn't something I can explain in one paragraph WHY I can't do that, so please don't play the blame game on me... I am fully aware of how dangerous it is, and everything. And I don't enjoy this, nor do I want to continue living this way... But like I said, anyone who has tried to get over an addiction or disorder of any sort, it's a long process, and I don't want to put myself OR the baby at risk because of my behaviors.

    To everyone who gave me helpful advice and what not:
    Thank you. I will start taking my multi-v. I have been trying to for a couple weeks, I'm simply terrible at remembering pills/vitamins. Which is one reason I was never sucessful with birth control. I think I'll start setting an alarm or something to remember them. It's hard to remember taking things like that, when you're in a pattern and habit of only living off bare minimum...and it sounds absurd and it is absurd, but it's something that I'm going to have to work with.

    I went to the doctor yesterday, instead of the hospital. They had an opening with a different OBGYN than I normally see, and they took 6 tubes of blood [ouch...I hate getting blood taken]

    I am not sure if it's normal to have cramps during pregnancy or light [super light] spotting, and I told her this, but all she did was take my blood, so I'm assuming that's not abnormal...if anyone knows differently, please tell me.

    Tomorrow I have an appointment with Planned Parenthood to discuss abortion and what's going on. The OBGYN I saw, said that for abortion she would recommend me to PP anyway because their offices don't perform them. But, she was a nice lady and didn't try to sway my decision and understood the situation I was in and why I didn't want to risk it.

    Like I may have said before too, if this were at any other time in my life, while I was healthy, I would at least go through the pregnancy...I'm not for abortion by any means, but in this situation I feel like it's important to consider my options and decide carefully. I'm not excited about the situation I'm in, or going through abortion, I'm not some stupid teenager who thinks they can just be careless and abort a child everytime they get pregnant... I'm not doing this simply because I don't want the child. If I was healthy, I would either suck it up and grow up and take care of the child, or at least give the child a chance to live with another loving family.

    I'm still rapidly losing weight, and that worries me, especially being pregnant, not just for my sake but the baby's. I went to the dr. just a week ago for an infection, and I lost 3 pounds since that visit.

    I lost a pound since yesterday. I'm trying to eat better, but it's still not enough or something... and I'm worried...

    My pulse was 108 [probably because I was nervous] and a;lkdjf I'm just super nervous about the situation and I feel torn about the whole thing.
  17. nightwriter

    nightwriter Member

    I"m concerned about the weight loss and rapid pulse. Are you being seen by a doctor for your eating disorder? Have you had any luck drinking ensure (or that type of thing). It saved my friend's life years ago.
  18. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    Yeah I'm concerned about that too, though the pulse could have been from being so nervous, because I could actually FEEL my heart slow down after I left the doctor, lol....

    But um... I never tried ensure. I'm vegan, so I never really even considered. I guess I should though, considering my health.

    I will talk with my doctor about what I can do, if I can't get myself to be eating what I should right now...

    My blood pressure was excellent though, so I suppose that's a good thing. I don't know. Hopefully the blood panel they took will tell me whether or not, too, if I have any sort of deficiencies I need to be keeping an eye on right now... I don't even know what they all tested for ...
  19. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    Of course it's not. YOU need to live, first and foremost. THAT is what is most important. You cannot just "stop" having an eating disorder, anymore than someone could "stop" a heart attack while it is happening, or "stop" having a broken arm after it happens. I don't have any eating disorders, but when someone tells someone with them "Just EAT!" it makes me SOOOOO angry, they have NO idea how difficult or even impossible this is. No one chooses to have an ED, it happens usually due to brain chemical malfunction similar to OCD (which I do have, and you can't "just stop") and TREATMENT is the best one can hope for.

    Good luck with PP today, A&O, you are being responsible by thinking of your health first. There will be other chances to have children (if you decide not to continue this pregnancy) and right now, getting you healthy, which will be a long road, is the most important thing.

  20. Apples+Oranjes

    Apples+Oranjes Bekkasaur

    I just got back from the dr. my mother took me in because I was having terrible chills. They checked everything out, and the dr. told me my preg hormone levels were much much lower than they should be for how far along I am [5-6 weeks since my last period] only 368 were my levels and she said normally they are around 1000. So she thinks either I may be miscarrying or having an ectopic pregnancy, in which I need to go get an ultrasound today at 1:15 to check for...

    I get another blood test tomorrow to see if my levels have dropped, risen, or stayed the same. Plus go to PP I have a lot of stuff to do right now. She said if I miscarry it's not going to be any sort of emergency considering I'm in the very early stages of pregnancy.


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