Struggling and grieving..feeling ashamed

Is it wrong and selfish to grieve?? Shouldn't I be happy that they're gone and possibly not hurting? That they don't have to deal with the world, depression, financially, mentally, emotionally, physically, emotionally, struggling??

Missing and grieving feels narcissistic and selfish. It feels all about me instead of them.

 

it is about you. But that's okay. Grieving shows how much the person meant to you. Yes the fact that they're not in pain or having to deal with negative issues anymore is comforting but just for the deceased. Those left behind feel a tremendous loss and can have feelings of desertion, anger, loss of security, and especially loneliness. Grieving is a selfish emotional response to no longer having that special person in your life anymore. It's just fine to have those feelings because without them that special person must not have been so special. So grieve and as time passes this will pass too.

 

You can do both with a bit of practice.
Joy for their end to suffering,
Pain for the loss of a friend or loved one.
It's one of the Blursings of being human with a brain that can carry mixed feelings.

20 years later I still find myself shedding tears for my great grandmother who died at the ripe age of 93 after a long life of strife, struggle and perseverance though with our current levels of expertise in life extension therapies she would be in absolute misery and I'm grateful she got to escape that at least.

Hope you sort it out.

 

I am truly sorry for your loss. I don't think I can offer any better advice than what has already been said.

I am wondering though, if you meant to post this in the pets and animals forum. Is it a pet that passed, or a person?

Either way, I hope you are able to grieve without guilt.

 

I lost my father 10 years ago. It hurts every bit today as it did then. I miss him loads

 

No; you're not wrong to grieve. It's how all humans process loss. You have nothing to feel ashamed of.
I'm sorry you're suffering. If you need to talk to someone, you're welcome to PM me.

 

You grieve much because you loved much! So sorry for your loss! Don’t allow anyone to prescribe a way for you to grieve. Hoping we’ll for you!!

 

There is nothing wrong, selfish or narcissistic about grieving, whether it's for a family member, a friend or a pet. Losing a loved one to death is hard, and it takes time to get over it. Just remember that all living things die eventually and in your lifetime many that you've known will go before you do. And not everyone lives to be old, some die young or middle-aged.

So let your grief out, cry and mourn all that's necessary and the pain will gradually lessen. They're gone but you're still here and you have a lot of life ahead of you to enjoy.