I have been married to my wife for near 20 years and sex has always been vanillia. She had two relationships before me. She had a boyfriend which would not marry her so she moved on and the guy she did marry their relationship fell apart after 18 months, she had never received or given oral sex before. Anyway over the years I have noticed she is very vocal about women that wear very revealing clothes or had behaviour traits that were overtly sexual. After 10 years our sex life was becoming routine and vanillia which I was expecting so I thought I would spice it up a little, I bought some toys which she was ok with and then I brought her some crotchless under wear and sexy clothing, this caused a lot of tension and i backed off and it went back to vanillia until our sex life was near zero but that was also because of work commitments too, night\day shifts. Early in our relationship I thought something was going on. She was getting up earlier to get ready, phone calls all the signs were there. I looked in her bag and found 3 love letters and by their contents they were speaking about a lot of stuff. So I confronted her and she swore black and blue nothing was going on. I had the letters in my hand which she tore out of hand and destroyed them. I didn't mind because I photo copied them first. Anyway what surprised me was even though she had been caught red handed she refused to admit to it. This made me think about the Madonna Whore complex and what lengths women are prepared to keep their Madonna Sheild from getting any dents in it or from getting dirty. She has a very strange attitude to womens reputations. Anyway jog on to about 6 months ago we were having a session in bed and I was well buzzed on vodka and I decided to just dominate her, hard. I pushed her on the bed and through the vibe at her and told her to play with herself, I then stuck my dick in her mouth and told her to suck it you filthy whore, I was grabbing her head and pushing it down on my dick, all the time calling her a slut. I then grabbed her head, pulled her hair and told her I wanted to fuck her mouth and if it was't done right I would take her to a dogging site and make her blow a stranger, I really went the whole 9 yards and she was as hot has hell. The next morning I was having breakfast and she walked in and she had a big smile on her face and you could tell that her head was still spinning. I think she wanted to say something but she didn't. What is going on in her head? Was it because I "forced" her to some bad stuff and that gives her an excuse to enjoy it. Like, I did not want to really do it but he made me deal. Is this domination / humliation or a BDSM. I would talk to her about but she is like the women that have no fantasys, all I would get is yea no answers.
Ask open questions then . These normally start with What ,How ,Where etc. they cant be answered yes or no .
From what I read the rough sex side could be a fantasy of hers and it sounds like you have found the switch on button . As it went well and surprised you I would have talked about it as i would have seen that as n opportunity to get her to open up a little . Everyone has fantasies and those that say they dont are fibbing . Whether they want to talk about them is another matter. The problem is that they are not sure how their partner would react and what they would think of them so one plays safe . Luckily for us me and my partner talk ,that why we do have an enriched sexlife and as roleplayers we have re enacted some of her fantasies and some of mine . There is one of mine I have kept a lid on and it will stay that way Another thing many women like to be led and that's why in the bedroom many take the more submissive role. Obviously she likes you being dominant and perhaps playing hard . But to take things further you both need to talk about it .
In my experience most women have fantasies they would love to explore. But usually their partner is not the one they want to explore them with so they often don't open up about their fantasies. Sometimes it's just embarrassment that stops them talking, or often it's that they know their partner will think less of them if they talk about their fantasy. Maybe this time you stumbled upon her fantasy, maybe she still doesn't want to talk about it, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't want it to happen again.
Now what if she had written about you? Maybe: "my husband seems to just like such vanilla sex, that it gets boring. I wish he would be more forceful. Doesn't he know that I have some fantasies. "? Just a thought.
