Strait Man And Lifelong Lesbian In Romantic Relationship

My name is not Rick. I have lurked around here before and commented on someone’s post a while ago. I have a story, not so much as I need help with, but with how to deal with the world and perceptions.
I am a strait 46 years old man , 6-01 with brown hair and hazel eyes. I once weighed 345 pounds and with a lot of hard work I have lost a lot of weight and now weigh a healthy 225 pounds. I am very proud of this accomplishment. I never had any problems with the ladies, I always felt I did pretty well in that area until the weight gain and ended up being out of any serious relationship for about 10 years. Also I am no Adonis. My background is Sicilian and Jewish, a nice Med-Semitic tone of skin. Just an average Guy that has been said to be handsome from time to time.
Two years ago I met a stunning intelligent, funny and waif beauty we will call Renny. We met at jury duty in Boston. We struck up a day long conversation and bitched about our jobs, our past lovers. At the end of the day we parted ways, probably thinking we would never see each other again.
I am employed at an agency that supplies bartenders and entertainment for LGBT parties and functions... I have been doing this since I retired from the military and have had a lot of fun doing it. Part of the fun is that I am very secure in my sexuality and am not threatened by people being people with their partners out in the open like a lot of strait men. I never thoght that if I was taking a piss "The guy standing next to me wants my junk!” perhaps some did, although likely the majority didn't and just wanted to take a leak too! I have no problem with saying a man is handsome or has a nice body or is hung like the Matterhorn! Openly Gay people doing exactly what straits do is normal so I say live and let live and pass me an Appletini while you’re at it.
So after the art show in the Back Bay, there was a Hip Party by invitation only going on downstairs and I was working the bar. To my surprise Renny came in with another woman and when she finally recognized me because I began to lose my weight, she asked what I was doing there, I told her I was working and asked what she was doing there. She said she was there to support her young girlfriend who had just come out. She said to me that she didn't know I was gay. I told her I wasn't. I asked her if she was. She said yes. When I told her that like most people, I don't go around and say Hi I AM Rick and I am heterosexual when I first meet people, like at Jury Duty, which is no different than her saying Hi I'm Renny and I'm a Lesbian; Is this seat taken? She said that made sense. But was a bit amazed that I was working there. She got over it and we talked for most of the night. He little friend hooked up with some younger gals and headed out. At 11: PM Renny asked me if I wanted to go for coffee. We did. She congratulated me on my weight loss and I told her I had a ways to go at that time. She told me more about herself, or her Lesbian Life. Always feeling different as a kid, awkward dating boys in High School. Checking out the other girls in Gym. Boys forcing themselves on her. Her first lesbian Experience in College. I listened without interruption except to say I was surprised she waited until college and was amazed more girls were not Lesbians due in part to the way boys and men had treated them. There are the guys who think it’s all about the Dick, who couldn't find a vagina with a flashlight or what to do with it without instructions. With woman, in my experience it was about the mind, the conversation and the tenderness. She said I was bullshitting her, that she never heard a man talk like that; that that’s what I must say to get a piece of ass. I told her that all men are not the same. There are a few that are decent and honestly try to be a true lover and partner. I told her my mother was a Lesbian. My dad died in Vietnam and I never met him. She told me it was 1968 and things were changing. She had a few partners until she met her life mate when I was 10. They taught me how to be a proper man and lover of woman. Imagine that? Two woman teaching a young boy how to be a man! It was amazing. I am truly blessed to still have my MOTHERS in my life today. Of coarce I was the Dyke Boy. (That was from one of my teachers) Two C_nts don't equal a cock and so on. I hated everybody. Especially because I liked girls not boys. My mother said even if I were Gay it would be OK, I told her I knew that, but girls made me feel so special and ooogally down there, in my stomach. She said I was the best son. The day after my 17th birthday in 1985 I left high school and joined the Navy with my mother's both signing me in. My other mom adopted me and this was before don't ask don't tell!!
I spent 20 years in the Navy, thru wars and peace and failed relationships and severe PTSD. I received my High school diploma and got an associate’s degree in Computer Science. I retired in 2005 at age 37 after 20 years of service. I was a mess inside and gained a ton of weight. Now back to me and Renny.
We became very good friends, platonic friends. We became very close. She dated a few woman and so did I but nothing ever came of it. Until.
One night we were watching TV at her house and laughing and our faces got close and she kissed me. Not a brother sister kiss. A real kiss. I asked her what just happened. She told me she was struggling with her feelings for me for several months, and in hindsight I could see it. But you always hear the idiots who say "She was a Lezzie and I converted her!" Something that would never enter my mind. I knew that she never had a true romantic anything with a man. She had intercourse with a few guys, intercourse that only confirmed that she didn't want to be with men. I asked her if she was confused. She said yes. I was afraid I was going to lose my friend. She told me if I was up to it, she would give a romantic relationship with me a try. Not just any guy. Me.
We started slow, I was scared shit. She made the first move, the second, and the third. She asked me if I was always this slow with woman, I told her I didn't want to make a mistake and prove true all those nightmares she thought of asshole men was correct. She told me to go for it and do what feels right.
Well its 6 months now and our relationship is as strong as ever. When we first made love, my toes broke they curled so much. She said I was the most generous and patient and passionate lover she ever had. That’s all I will say about our sex life.
She didn't want her friends to know she was dating a man at first. But when it came out, it was awful! The majority of her friends said she was looking for attention, that I had conned her. A few threatened me. Like I stole something from them. One called my boss and said I was hitting on and trying to turn Lesbian woman and was fired.
Why was there such a harsh reaction? We are still the same people that others liked before. We were just in love with each other. Two people loving each other. My mothers were so happy for us. She describes herself as a Lesbian that fell in love with a unique person. I feel the same way. We are going forward. We are happy and secure. I'm curious how others think of this relationship?

 

225# for 6'1" is NOT healthy!

 

If he says that he is healthy leave him alone. No need to nit-pick.

 

Well... My opinion of your girl is kinda similar to my position in small ways. I've only ever been with women but that all started with a deep connection with one girl who've i have spent my life with. When that bloomed I guess I was attracted to females mostly. Though I'm sort of fence sitting nowadays with what I am. Sometimes I wonder what if mister right comes along, ticks my boxes and I fall for him? Then what do I do?

So I don't always think it's like wrong for a lesbian to turn, sexuality definitely changes.

 

I think being bisexual, gender fluid, pansexual, or whatever is a very honest way to be for some people.

I've heard about bisexuals being discriminated against as partner material in the gay community and I think that's fine too. If someone doesn't want to sleep with a bisexual person that is their decision to make.

What I don't think is okay, in anyway, is to butt into another persons personal relationships in order to make yourself feel superior.

Be happy with now. Don't worry about the past or the future; just be happy.

 

compared to 345 it sure is.

 

Better than over 320! I never said I reached my goal; and that is 180-200. According to the nutritionals at the VA, Medium to large frame body should be between 160-192. (Men’s Health, GNC, Health Discovery, USDA. This is where I am now according to the US Navy Body Mass Index that I conformed to most of my adult life until I retired at 37 years old:
US Metric
Gender Female Male
Weight lbs
Height ftin
Measurements:
Waist (at navel) in
Neck (at narrowest) in

Body Fat 25 %
Fat Mass 56 lbs
Lean Mass 169 lbs
Body Fat Category Acceptable
I am also 46 years old, not 26. I am doing the best I can.
I kind of bottomed out now and it's getting more difficult to lose the weight now. Besides muscle does weigh more than fat. How about some props by losing over 120 pounds in a heathy way through diet and exercise. I am much healthier in mind and body today than I was before. My blood pressure is normal, EKG and respiratory system is normal, My joints feel better, I can breathe again and yes I can see my penis and testes without a mirror and don't have to take somebodies word for it that they are still there. AND it looks bigger instead of being buried in all that fat! Also it has boosted my confidence and self-esteem. There is no way I could be in this wonderful relationship feeling and looking the way I did.

RRR

 

Thanks. That reassures me. When you say fence sitting and falling in love who you fall in love with. I fantasized what it might be like to be with another man. I would lie to say I didn’t considering the employment I have chosen. I’ve been to group parties that turned into Roman Decadence and who would have cared, much less remembered. But I love woman. There is nothing like them. I don’t find M on M disgusting or evil, I know it can be beautiful when love is involved, but just not for me!
I take a lot of the hateful comments as jealousy in some ways. Face it, even friends can be put off when they see one their friends happy. It's sad when that happens. There are a few and say very few men haters that were cool with me as long as stuck to the "strait" girls. Those were the ones who acted like I took my ball and went home and treated her as a traitor. Like WTF?
RRR

 

I'm glad places like this exist. Lots of experience and knowledge and honesty. Sure, you got to weed the bullshit out, but that’s anywhere in Life!