Straight Male With Bi Thought. Need Help!

Im going to apologize in advance for this being long. This is the first time i will be speaking of this to anyone...and i wanted advice/oppinions and what not.
Im 35 years old. Im straight. And have only dated women.
To give you a little background...i was molested by my older cousin when i was 12. I performed oral and recieved anal. Nobody to this days knows of this. I thought something was wrong then because i enjoyed it. But now i know its my body reacting, not that i wanted ot to happen. Years went on and nothing really went on. In college i had the urge to experiment with another guy. As the years have gone vy i have noticed i see men attractive....check their butt out, look at their build, enjoy the sights when they are shirtless, check the bulge in their pants and wonder what it looks like.
My urge has become stronger lately and its a constant thought. Its confusing. I love women. Sex with them, relationships..all of it. But i have the desire to give and recieve oral, have anal sex and even explore recieving anal sex. Just the thought of it while im typing this is making me hard. Any thoughts and opinions would be great. I appreciate all who read this and apologize again for how lengthy this is. Thanks again.

 

After considering myself to be totally straight all of my life,I found a desire to have oral sex with men when I was about 42.I have fulfilled that desire with several men now and thoroughly enjoyed every male-male session.Its now my desire to have anal sex with a man,having enjoyed it with my wife many times.
Im sure that many men have such thoughts although most probably dont act on them.

 

I'm 45 and am a closeted bi guy.

I was going through a dry spell in my early 30's and looking at a lot of porn. Straight porn started getting boring, so, I would check out gay porn. I liked seeing cocks together. I then started chatting in gay chat rooms. My conversations with guys really increased my interest in being with a guy and eventually I started chatting with a guy in my city. I hadn't had sexual contact with anyone for a while and was eager to masturbate with a guy, so, I eventually invited him over.

That led to a transition. It took me a long time to admit to myself that it's OK to enjoy men as well as women. I never imagined having a relationship with a guy. I just enjoy cocks.

I'm married now and I haven't been with a guy since I met her. But, I chat with guys all the time and fantasize about playing with cocks again.

If you are single, I recommend taking this time to safely explore your interests. Open up to the people that you trust. Have fun and enjoy the experience.

 

Great post santos.

I feel the same and there's nothing quite like another cock to have a good play with every now and then! I only sucked my first cock at the age of 43 but have done it many times since. Obviously, Little Wifey knows nothing about it!!!

 

Thanks for the info. I dont see anything bad about it. Of course everyone has their views and thoughts about it. But i dont stereotype anything or anyone. You are who you are and thats what makes everyone unique. Unfortunately for me, its not somthing i can put out there in public. I would definately need for it to be descreet but dont know how to go about it. I dont want to say im closeting myself, i just dont think that part of me should have to be public. Im normally an open book about my life. This is just one of those things i keep to myself....actually the only thing ive kept from others. Thanks for the response and advice santos. If you have any other thoughts...feel free. I want to work this out and talk it out as well. Thanks again!

 

How old were you when you became interested in cocks?

 

I'm the same way. It's like I have been living the "role" of a straight man, so, I don't see an easy way to change that. It didn't matter to me when I was single. I could have discrete fun with guys without a problem. Now that i'm married it's a different situation.

Like I said, I met my first guy in a chat room, but, I found other guys on Craigslist. I've always made a point to take it a little slow when I try to meet guys. I have boundaries that I don't want someone to push, so, I make sure we are on the same page before meeting up.

There are other resources for guys like us. Let me know if you are interested in learning more.

 

Im interested for sure. Any help would be great. It almost seems too late for me as well. Its like being a virgin all over again haha

 

The first step is overcoming the urge to call yourself "straight". A lot of guys are in the same boat as you...it just takes us a long time to soften up to our sexuality. If you are "constantly" thinking about it then your brain is wired that way and to deny yourself that desire is only going to negatively impact your emotional health and lead to problems in life. You're going to have to find a solution that is going to work for you and going behind your wife's back isn't going to solve things. A lot of people marry someone when they fall deeply in love with someone else, often before knowing themselves and that other person totally...this is a serious mistake that has caused much suffering...and even children to feel like they aren't wanted. Before you make a lifetime commitment to someone else, you HAVE to understand yourself completely...it has to make sense for you. I'm sorry that there are no easy answers, but good luck to you!

 

Hello all , im 19 & had two sexual encounters with females. I've always loved my women but im kinda curious about this guy. I went to school with him & he's a cool guy & all but idk. We're pretty cool but he has a bf. I talked to him when he was single and idk i wanna receive Oral from him