Starts of a rant, ends in a question...

Discussion in 'U.K.' started by Dandelion_Blood, Jan 19, 2005.

  1. Dandelion_Blood

    Dandelion_Blood Gremlin

    Just today sorted out my Portfolio for interveiws and call-ups! Mondays a big day, i give in portfolio to Kingston Foundation course and they decide if they want me or not ... eek. Was so quiet when my art teacher was looking through it, he said i had some good stuff nothing "woah" worthy. But then i showed him my stuff, he said i was quite clearly devoted and altogether i had a rather quirky portfolio put together, he really liked the potential in my pro/anti war piece and, "woudl like to see me get into Wimbeldon Foundation course" as i "fit the requirements perfectly" - he always wobbles on abuot Wimbledon.

    I am so freeking nervous its unbelievable, i am scared, i am all over the spectrum where emotion is concerened.. afraid i won't be wanted, afraid i am not good enough. Art is such a hard subject to be good at in the eyes of teacher/examiners doesn't matter if you put your heart in it.. just that theres skill. Which depresses me, i do have skills but what about heart? Where'd that go when it comes to art, certainly out the door when it comes to exams and qualification and college. They don't care as long as you fit the requirments.

    Its seriously dishearting and sometimes i wonder why i bother?
    I'm quirky to them, i aint amazing.
    I'm an individual, but i aint enthused enough about the work i do at college, its helpful and its teaching me things. I don't know. It's confusing me, about art, about everything.

    Everythings changing and the one thing i thought i could rely on being good at doesn't seem to quite cut it for them suited fellas...sometimes i get tired of having to do things just to get marks, just to satisfy others. I want to get back to me selfindulgent art, where the whole world and my friends are the judge and just because it doesn't get the A grade doesn't mean its not specail!

    Education, screws you up and helps you too.

    Aye... Your favourite creative subject... whenever you took did it help or did it ruin it for you? What did you get out of it?
     

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