Discussion in 'Poetry' started by *peace*child*, Jan 13, 2005.

  1. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

    The stars are translucent;

    tartan images burst from shade to sun​
    I am lost in ovation, ​
    breathing sky and resonating movements that I can​
    never win.​
    How they lose their radiance when falling​
    ebony to ivory, as points of ballet dance​
    across the stage.​
  2. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

    Hey peace child, if you intend to stick around, I suggest you create your own thread so it's easier to find all your poems at once and they won't get lost in the mess.
    Enjoyed this piece, not sure about this line though -never win.- doesn't really make sense in the context! Other than that, very pretty, ebony to ivory, ballet dance and stage, stars are cliche things to write a unique piece about, but I think you've done it!
  3. *peace*child*

    *peace*child* Member

    thanks for the tip.

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