stableness and trust

the 2 things I craaavvvee in a relationship. I think i been stressing out too much over wanting a commited SOMETHING that its going overboard and im not looking for the right thing.

So i thought and thought. I need to be in a relationship, to find myself better in a relationship, I dont know myself too well in one...Im just whatever...and that what has been driving guys away...Im too..eh free spirited that when I do want someone to stay commited, no ones there and it saddens me.

I love love but not with anyone.. im very cautious about who i date, so cautious that i just gave up but i think i may be back on track with being commited. I want it, i kinda need it. So starting today, I do want a stable boyfriend

 

Put in an add on your local craigslist saying that you're looking for a man to take you to a swinger's club on a regular basis. I know it seems unlikely, but it will work for you.

You will, of course, have to swing. But we all have to make sacrifices for what we consider most important.

 

lol!

 

I hear you totally. I'm not into casual dating, it just doesn't really do much for me. I'm much more interested in someone I can share everything with and someone who I know will be there. Most people just aren't into that these days.

I've only had one real relationship. After almost 5 years she came out as a lesbian and gave me the engagement ring back. After that I dated a couple girls here and there but they didn't seem interested in anything real. They were more looking for someone to take them out and fuck around with.

Needless to say I've been a little nervous about finding someone so I've just spent all my time either alone or with my guy friends. It's lonely but comfortable.

 

^ I was hoping to get descent feedback haha. thanks

yeah for real. I wish i could get a simple guy around here but I seriously cant. I've been single for over a year, I like it but I think I can handle another relationship with someone just as outgoing as me but its hard

Oh theres still people like that!

 

Thats sad but you know, I bet she missed out on alot. My last relationship I was also engaged but just didnt feel it anymore but when I said lets try and work on it first, he seemed like he wasnt up for it and Im thinking well fuck you then! and I gave the ring back

Same here. Im chill with being single but I need to cut this "just sex" bullshit. I get hurt in the end and its really not fun

 

I wouldn't know, my sex life is fucked (no pun intended ). When me and my girlfriend started going out she told me she didn't want to have sex because she was religious. So I waited for her. After about 3 years she decided to give it a go. It never really worked for us because she said it caused her so much pain. So for the last year and half we did just about everything else. We'd tried intercourse once in a while but she'd start almost crying every time. Turns out she was just really dry cause she wasn't into guys. She told me later it felt like rape...

That fucked me up in the head so bad that the next girl I was with I couldn't even function in bed because I'd practically have panic attacks. All I could imagine was my ex in tears.

Yep, it sucks. I think my sex life is shot.

 

Wow, that's heavy kmarcher.

Just remember that life is very short. You have a right to find relationships that fulfill your needs as a human being. They are out there, both of you. But you have to look -- it is a numbers game. And you have to be a little bit ruthless about what you want, or you won't get what you want.

 

thats awful with all the excuses but ill give you props for havin patience lol. I would have been really hurt if a guy made the sex life wait

first thing you have to do with that is just meet a girl thats attractive to you, gives you confidence and it'll be history and hopefully you'd make it in bed lol

 

I did meet this guy, hes 23, bought a house at 19, works 3 jobs, got mistakenly married at 20, divorced though for over a year now. I like his straight to the point attitude but he seems like he has no exciting personality, maybe cause he has 3 jobs, always working lol. we use to mainly text all day but now its slowed a lot. like days could pass and we havent talked, in that way...I dunno. he says hes not looking for others and i believe him cause how could he do that with 3 jobs? he has a great work ethic and i respect that in people and i could def bring happiness and romance/excitment in his life but I dont know if its even gonna take off

 

I don't know, Stacy. He's pretty young to have so much on his plate. And, just coming away from a mercifully brief marriage, he's probably reluctant to get too involved. That would make sense to me, anyway.

There's nothing that says you can't keep tabs with him while exploring other options, is there?

 

he says hes ready for another relationship, i just caught up at a bad time with working

i CAN move on and look but then again, Im not in a rush to date anyone just yet and when I think of relationships, I think of commitment for a while and Im really picky on who I date and hes definitely a guy that I would consider dating so its a toss up

 

Sounds like he might have buried himself into work. More likely due to the devorce to keep mind off of things. can see if, especially if still liveing in the same house.

Not overly Bad though. Can easily hold a job, hold responsibility. has energy to keep active, prolly running on burn out streaks though.

Though that I would say with just the vague description. would look more into what interests you share and how he his when not focused on work.

 

I talked to him today and I did ask interests other days and we do seem to share the same pet peev about people and relationships and just today I was saying how I really needed to get away (stressful things going on in a small town ) and hes like me too! I say then lets do it. we'll save up and you can request for days off and hes like well i have money saved, its just work thats hard to deal with. and im like well i gotta save up, just set a date and we'll go. and he said alright. So im tryin to get him away from work, i know he wants to be cause I ask him if he gets lonely living alone and he totally agrees so it seems like im getting him out of his shell a bit.

 

You're in a small town! That's the problem right there!

But it does sound promising with this guy, so far.

Let me recommend a destination: http://www.locogringo.com/kantenah/hiddenbeach.html?name=Hidden+Beach+Resort

You can walk out of your room to your patio, and swim through a channel directly to the main pool! I've never been, but it's long been a dream vacation. Maybe in a year or so. It would definitely be an experience you'd both remember all your lives.

 

badda bing! lol

that looks sooo beautiful seated. that'll be pretty amazing if we went there. he just got a 16 grand car loan but hes probably gonna wait til his car breaks. i dunno why...just sell it and use the money you made and take 2 grand out of the loan ya know but o well. i gotta get my ass a job and we'll all set thank you for the offer. we talked florida but we both seperately been there. mexico is too beautiful

 

Yeah, you should go! If you talk to a travel agent...not an online travel agent...you'll probably be able to get deals much better than what's advertised. They're still trying to recover from all the damage the swine flu did to their tourism industry, so they'll cut deals.
If you do go, be sure to fill me in on all the details. Man...I can just imagine hanging out there for a week or so, naked, slightly drunk and outrageously high in the pool all day, every day. And the nights would be incredible!

Man, I gotta go...

 

i've been screwed with so many times i can barely trust anyone. and it completelyyy sucks, with me i trust someone from the gitgo, give them their time and if they mess up there goes their trust. i just want a companion that's so much better then anything else to me haha.

 

actually my aunt is a travel agent so she could get us in cheap i suppose. I talked about it to him today and he was up for it. he asked when and I just said when I get money saved up and we could go spontaneously and he was all set for it so im glad we're on that boat...SWINE Flu I almost forgot. I hope that shit gets cleared before we go there. Im already talking about learning to Tango there lol and I asked if he wants to join and after pleading for a minute he said alright haha!

I will fill you in. They got this deal going on, 1000 for 2 people...pays for plane, food, drinks, and hotel for one week. Eat/drink as much as you want. Great deal. we just gotta get money for me and time for him
and also, I can legally drink there :cheers2:

thank you and you should go

 

Its hard to trust anyone when getting screwed over so many times. Ive been on that boat and im still half ass in it. You do what I do, give them trust until they screw up the first time, then drop em. but to test their trust, I would set up dates or calls and do it that way and if they dont let you know ahead of time that they cant make it and they dont set up another time, then dump them.