"Spit or swallow" Discussion.

Hey everyone, have been reading the forums for a while and this is my first post

So me and a guy that I've been dating had a chat a few days ago - about oral sex. He asked whether I spit or swallow. I explained that sometimes I spit, sometimes I swallow - it depends on the moment/mood. His response was that he thought it was "rude" when a woman spits and that he feels "offended" when she doesn't swallow.
I asked whether he had ever tasted his own cum (never mind swallowed) and the reply I got was "Eww, no. That's disgusting".

What are everyone's thought on this conversation?

 

I can imagine that it may be difficult for a guy to think of tasting his own cum as a sexual act, much less a pleasurable sexual act. There is a level of intimacy though in allowing a partner such a freedom.

I don't have any desire to taste my own ejaculate, but I love having a woman on my face, tasting her... letting her grind and hold my face tightly against her... it's an intimate sexual act. I couldn't imagine trying to suggest to a woman that she should try to avoid climaxing while using two handfuls of my hair to hold my face firmly in her lap.

 

Explain to him that depending on his diet that the taste, and texture (not to mention amount) can change... and until it's in your mouth you can't decide. I generally swallow, but only because it's easier, and the come is in my mouth less time than if I were to spit it out.

However, there have only been a couple of men that I have genuinely enjoyed swallowing.

I think that his opinion is silly. If I'm sucking your cock it should be my decision to swallow, or spit if I let you come in my mouth.

If it were me with this guy, my instinct would be to refuse to let him come in my mouth at all. Let him come on my tits, or face instead.... to avoid conflict.

 

you're dating a dickhead. pretty typical really.

 

I rarely swallow, I have to be in a very happy place to do that! I know my husband loves it when I swallow, but he is perfectly happy to ejaculate in my mouth then have me spit, it's the act of cumming in my mouth that he relishes, what I do with the semen is not so important. Any man who tries to blackmail you emotionally to swallow when you would prefer not to is not worth wasting your time over.

 

I've never been with someone that didn't swallow. I don't think it would matter much except where does it get spit?

 

the woman I am with no does not swallow, she won't even take it in her mouth and spit. Now it's her call to swallow but pulling off her mouth and trying to jerk me off quick is not an option and I take offence when they can't finish....they can spit if they want.

So last weekend I was going down on her and right when she was about to cum I pulled my tongue off and put a dry finger on her clit and started slamming left/right and up and down.....she lost the orgasm and then asked me what was the deal.

She thinks I was being rude but I told her that she can spit but changing pace right at the moment is not an option. She can stop sucking if she wants but I return the favour.

I would never ask a woman for something I wouldn't do so I have tasted my cum and it didn't bother me.

This one likes when I eat her out and get her G-spot so she will at least spit soon enough.

 

Just because you have tasted it don't mean she will be ok with it. Like some people can eat oysters and some can't stand one in their mouth. Think about all the people you know,,, some won't eat hamburger meat, some won't at onions or mustard. It's about liking what's going in your mouth, not doing it to make the other happy, that story is short lived.
You can't expect anything in sex as a favour or a return to what you do, if she not and you try to push her to it your whole sex life with her will be a chore in her mind and she won't care to have it with you. If she starts but finishes with her hand then so beit, it's her right to try her best for you and same if you eat her but don't like it, don't do it. But don't go thinking she owes it to you. She doesn't. There might be lots more she can do that will make it all worth while. Use your head and come up with other thoughts that might turn you on as much. If that don't work find another who will do it but remember, there might be something else you like that the new chic won't do.

And to the OP, if he cooked you dinner and you refused it for no good reason then he has a right to be offended. In sex as I said above, if you don't want to, don't, let him find someone else. This kind of guy cares not about you but about what he can convince you to do for him. Dump the lug. Find someone who cares to work together on this to find things to do that Both enjoy. It's obviously not your thing but bets are there's a hoard of things you do like that he could enjoy if not hung up over this one thing.

 

Regarding the word "rude". Perhaps it is an ill chosen word. But there is a good kernel of truth there.

Consider: your partner is going down on you, you have an orgasm and as soon as your orgasm is over, they look up and say "tastes nasty".

That's not the most romantic, thoughtful gesture.

The OP is under no obligation to swallow, but she should deal with her boyfriend's semen gracefully.

 

But then again, typically we don't shoot a load in squirts into a guys mouth, no man has to take it the same way some expect a woman to take it. And I don't think it's like you are picturing as spitting, more just letting it come out instead of taking it in, then cleaning it off. Never seem no guy drinking up mine in shots, just getting a really wet beard and if he didn't like I would understand. Sex is not about Have To's, it's about finding a comfort zone for both and the turn on's.
Really, why would a guy care? Once it's out he had a great time already. It's not like he spent all day bent over a stove making his shit for her pallet. It's cum, the end result of her blowing his mind. Does a guy get a star on his forehead to show his buddies if his girl swallows?
I don't remember the op saying she chuck spit it anywhere like, Patoowee! And making comments it tasted bad.
To some women it shoots in like big monster gobs of snot and if they don't like it then tough Beans, just don't count on scoring anything on a calendar besides how many times in a month you came and were sent into happy land. Enjoy it, don't sweat it.

 

Thanks for all your responses so far, it's been an interesting read!

The discussion between me and the guy was just hypothetical. We haven't been dating for very long and only had sex a few times. I have given him oral each time, but never to completion - as we moved on to penetrative sex.

I don't mind swallowing. Had he told me that it's a turn on for him I would do it every time, without him even having to ask for it. I like to please my partner. BUT I don't think it should be expected. I also found it somewhat hypocritical that he hasn't even tried tasting his own cum, even went so far as to say it's disgusting, yet expects the woman to swallow the whole load. I think the reason he gave was that cum "is for women". Yes, but last time I checked biology meant for it to go into the vagina, not the mouth. ;-)

Interestingly, he asked me whether I had tasted my own pussy juice. Yes, I have, on numerous occasions. It's my own fluid, why would I think it's gross? I would not expect my partner to do something that I wouldn't do myself. He also seemed to have forgotten that I have kissed him every time after he has given me oral. Perhaps I should ask him next time to wash his mouth out before kissing me. :2thumbsup:


To some of the other posters: I don't think it's disgusting at all but the taste doesn't do much for me. As I said, sometimes I spit, sometimes I swallow depending on the mood. When I don't swallow, I either let it run back out over the penis, or discreetly dispose of it in a tissue. It's never been an issue for the guys I have been with as they are usually so wrapped up in their orgasm that they don't even notice what happens with their cum ;-)

 

He's being immature and you should tell him that. Personally I can't help but feel that the guys who claim they feel "offended" when a woman doesn't enjoy the taste have some serious issues with insecurity, because it should be clear to see why she might not like it, and that it's not really anything personal.

Plus, the pleasurable part is cumming itself, and I'm unable to see why I should care what happens with my cum after the ejaculation. It's just insecurity and/or douchebaggery on the guy's part to demand the woman to swallow after she has already let him cum in her mouth despite not enjoying the taste. Cum is meant to end up inside a woman anyway, and more or less every heterosexual girl on the planet happens to like that.

 

I have never done a "spit" (actually, I lie - once. )
If I am not in the mood, I'll stop licking/sucking before ejaculation is reached and have him put it in me. very simple.
But if I let him ejaculate in my mouth, I'll respect his lovemaking and swallow. I enjoy that moment of ejaculation just as much as him (well maybe not, but it's fun. I love those slushy faces guys get!)
I know cum tastes like crap, but a quick swill of Orange juice and its all gone.
...... except for the cummy burps which sometimes happen. Not good.

 

If we are gonna call swallowing a sign of respect then we have a big problem. We do not owe that. A sign of respect to each other does not boil down to either side taking anything in the mouth or face. Maybe under that understanding we should allow him to pee on us too because he produces that fluid as well, maybe he should be able to shoot us in the face even tho we might not like it.
When did sex become about respect. I thought it was about love and learning each other's desires not forcing or guilting for respect, sheesh!
Swallowing, anal and every little thing we might do in sex has to do with desires, pleasures and our ability to do all of those things individually. There is no certain Have To's or a manual on what should be done to achieve the desired level. What if your man decides he is into beating his girl? Gonna respect him and allow that too?

And as far as cum being for the woman like OPs BF said, it is for reproduction, not for her taste buds but if she likes it then so beit, where did he get that idea? Oh right, he saw it on video. Again if you like it then do it, if you don't and he wants it then he has a big problem. Don't anyone go thinking you owe it to your man. You won't like sex after you realize you hate this but you owe it. Enjoy sex as you like it and don't be pushed to what you don't over a call of respect or guilt. You know if he don't like giving oral he won't, and that's life, rare but it happens. We give oral but that don't mean we have to finish it a certain way either.

The day my BF calls for something in the bedroom for respect he's gonna give me to solid ours of foreplay before any penetration is allowed. Once I am pushed for something he is gonna be pushed as well.

I am glad OP is discussing this with him and deciding what she thinks of him so if she doesn't like his call on how sex should be later she had the knowledge and could have dumped him in the beginning, because bets are more like this pops up later from his head and then it's harder to let go.

There is a wonderful thing in relationships, called sex, make sure the one you are with enjoys You and is not looking for a sex slave, those people are on the streets looking for free drugs, they will do anything and all. Let him look there, he can feed her and keep her high enough to do all he likes.

 

Actually, I date a female ejaculator. So yes I do swallow as much of her load as I can as she releases more than I do.

C/S,
Rev J

 

I don't mind the taste really but there are certain drinks I've found that do make a difference. My favourite time to blow my guy at least is the night where he's been drinking sweet and sugar alcohol drinks like rum or vodka mixes and the day after when he's hung over from them. It's a sickly sweet taste at that stage. Other times the texture can thicken up and taste bitter but it's my guy so of course I swallow.
For other partners it really depends on my mood at the time or how well they've performed with us lol. If they want to finish off with a bj then I'll swallow because my boy likes to go in seconds when we have 3soms so it's less messy just to swallow but if the roles are reversed I don't spit per say, I'll just ask to finish on my chest.

 

Oops double post.

 

It's good you like it many men might not but again it's not shooting into your mouth as some women might not really like, my point is, for men and women, do it if you like but not because you are Expected to, it's not everyone's cuppa tea. Sex should be fun and not a challenge for one or the other. OP said she really isn't all about that and he didn't agree with her and pointed out his displeasure over her not wanting to do it every time.
Some people are like that, they expect and later when it's not always happening they might hold back on sex or some parts of it to prove their need for their partner to do so.
This is when couples crash, so it's important to make sure this won't be a problem for the life of the relationship on either side of the relationship.
This is like anal, bondage and all other funkier or kinkier bits of sex, it's all good if both are into it but no one should do it to respect or as if they owe it to their partner. I get a little frustrated when I hear women say they do it even tho they don't like it because it's expected or their partner doesn't get off the right way. This is a que to leave that partner and find someone more suited to themselves. Looking back at the woman a few weeks back who said her partner wanted to beat her bloody, and he didn't get it, she wasn't into it, that makes my blood chill, she needed to leave him before he forced her and I hope she did.

 

I always swallow. It's the quickest way to get rid of the taste if it's bad. Swallowing stimulates the generation of saliva in the mouth which neutralises the taste and helps to flush it away and get rid of it quickly. When you spit it out it sticks to your teeth, your tongue, your gums, every fucking where.

To all the guys out there bitching about how their women won't swallow or let you cum in their mouth and all the women who bitch about how disgusting it is - you've got relationship problems - because this really isn't a big deal.