Spiritual Awakening?

Hello, I'm a 25 year old in the middle of a strange situation. This is a little weird for me to share, but the more I dwell on it, the longer it's going to bother me. So here goes...

Several months ago, I experienced what I can only describe as a spiritual awakening. I was minding my own, relaxing a bit after work and watching a program. All of a sudden, I had an abrupt sense of clarity. I felt a deep understanding and feeling of oneness, of the unity of all things. It was not a vision or hallucination, just an emotionally overwhelming sense of insight. I have only smoked marijuana recreationally for the last two years, and had not previously experienced anything other than a typical high. The best way I can describe how it felt is to tell you to try and picture yourself, having lived your whole life in a windowless room. Then suddenly, without warning, a window briefly appears. What you see and learn and understand is beautiful and terrifying, because it knocks everything you thought you knew aside. The window shuts, leaving you with overpowering feelings of peace, love and insight, and you're left wondering what the hell just happened.

The problem isn't in the experience itself, but in my ability to cope with it and to grasp its meaning. After doing some reading, I've found that some people claim that this is the 2nd or 3rd stage of a full-on spiritual awakening process. Personally, I always tend to look at things more analytically. But something that was so simultaneously tangible and intangible is causing me to struggle to find peace on the issue. Was the experience nothing more than some elaborate brain malfunction? A weird but scientifically explainable glitch? Is spiritual awakening even real?

It had such a strong effect on me that my life has turned completely upside down. My relationship is almost certainly ending because of it, my eating and extracurricular habits have changed, and I am constantly filled with self doubt. I often find myself thinking of death especially, and if it correlates with my experience. Most of the time I feel as if I've lost my mind.

The personal changes I've observed in myself have been somewhat dramatic. I've become more outgoing, changed my clothes, hair and makeup style. I'm more mindful of the things I say to people and I'm more agreeable to be around. I eat meat, but since this happened I find that I feel guilty afterwards. Emotionally, I often feel overwhelmed with love for everyone around me. And although I love my significant other, I feel as if our time together is coming to an end.

Overall, the wake of my experience has left me stuck in a roller coaster of emotional and psychological contradictions. On the one hand, I want to believe that this was the profound beginning to higher existence. On the other, I am too analytical and practically-minded to fully embrace that concept.

If anyone has knowledge on this, I'd love to hear from you! Did you experience this same doubt? Did you overcome it? Any tips on where to go from here?

 

I had this sense of 'oneness' as well. I know the feeling, although it is impossible to describe. It's like there is no ego, but it transcended into everything, which is also nothing. Timeless, formless and egoless.
This sensation made quite a big impact on me when I had this moment of 'clarity', but over time I stopped trying to analyse it (remember, it is the imperfect, unknowing ego that tries to analyse it).
I have to add it was not drug induced, but yoga/meditation induced.

The experience itself might be beautiful, the ego loves to wallow in it, but fundamentally it is as meaningless as anything else. I don't see it as a spiritual awakening per se. To me it was a taste of the mind and it sure tasted good.
But, cliche as it sounds, life goes on. The material world is still here and without taking care of that, there won't be a spiritual world to explore.

 

I am going through an experience very much like this, but at a slower more gradual rate. enlightenment, waking up, nirvana, consciousness, whatever. and I am struggling as to what to do about it. I am truly blessed to have an old soul mentoring me but i feel so figidty and anxious, Gemini sun sagitarrius rising go figure.
i need to get out of the city and into the forest and deserts.
practice yoga; it helps me a lot.

 

1. Nothing
2. Nothing - Void
3. Void - It
3. It - Something
4. Something - Conception
5. Conception - Spirit
6. Spirit - Being
7. Being - Universal
8. Universal - Nature
9. Nature - Life
10. Life - Conciousness
11. Consciousness - Self
12. Self - Suffer
13. Suffer - Sacrafice
14. Sacrafice - Love
15. Love - Truth
19. Truth - God
20. God - Perfect
21. Perfect - You

 

The door is open to you now. Like a human child, you must grow spiritually and mature. Don’t worry about finding a yogi or guru. Listen to your own intuition and be diligent in your research.

 

Sounds like you had an authentic Spiritual opening. This stuff is beyond Scientific study, so I wouldn't worry about that aspect for now. They'll catch up in due time. I would just not resist the process and not let your analytical mind get too much in the way. You didn't imagine what you went through. Yes, there will always be a Scientific explanation for it, but at this time in history it won't be anything that will aid you. Science doesn't understand it yet.

I've got plenty of books and Spiritual teachers if you request that will be able to aid in this process. Adyashanti is my favorite. Look up his videos on Youtube.

The Ego went through a death-blow but is still clinging on and that's why you are facing fear and confusion on the matter. Don't resist.