Something for all the guys in the forums...

Do you agree w/this?: He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out
Do you think guys should ask a girl out, or should a girl ask a guy out? For example:a girl notices a guy looking at her constantly. He seems interested,but doesn't say anything. Should she go up to him, or let him say something first?

 

Yea, where anywhere does it say it always has to be the guy that does it.

 

A book I'm reading called "He's Just Not That Into You". That's the 1st chapter. It gives examples of all kinds of excuses guys give when it come to dating.

 

Well it's not like girls don't have their own treasure chest full of them too.

 

I don't think it should be a male obligation to be the approaching party in a situation where one asks the other out. I will ask out girls sometimes, but only if I know they are into me. If a girl is into me and I don't know it, I want her to ask me out.

 

I prefer for the guy to be the initiator...

 

I don't know why it can't simply go both ways... Regardless of your gender, if you're interested in someone, approach that person.

It makes sense to me.

 

I like a girl who goes after what she wants. As long as she isn't too forward about it, or doing it without the proper vibes from me.

 

I prefer girls who ask guys out cause im kinda shy :-/

 

Absolutely. I get like 50% of my dates that way.

 

I don't think it matters one way or the other.


It just comes down to who has the initiative in any case. Some people are kinda shy until they break the ice. Guys or girls.

 

i have never asked a girl out. probably a bad idea, i admit

i say let them come to me!

 

the realty is males approach females, she will give out all the signals if she is interested. if he can read them is a whole other story.

if a guy does not ask out a girl, it could be because he fears rejections, not that he has no interest in her.

most of the time guys have no clue whats going on. she could always approach him but that will depend if she likes wussy boys.

 

I'm not shy at all, and I mean, if a girl is staring at you all the time, or laughs at all your jokes, even the pathetic ones, it's time to proposition her.

But, I think it should be able to go both ways. I don't know too many women who mind asking a guy out, actually. I think it's generally a masculinity issue with men. Same guys who'd rather have a bullet be put in their head than have someone think that they're gay have a problem with a female asking him out.

 

I think a girl should ask a guy out. Its alot easier for a girl to do it.

I liked a girl at my school and i talked to her a few times, and shed always say hi when she seen me, and said that id see her again in the cafeteria or somewhere else.

Last wednesday i asked if shed like to be better friends, and she said : yeah ill probably see you on friday.

She never showed the whole day in any of the places i am at whether its the lunchroom or the place i sit. She wasnt there today on Monday either.

She can act like a stupid you know what ,and its no wonder guys have stereotypes about girls all being dumb like that and using excuses. Like they say 9 out of 10 goodlooking girls are complete snobs.

What would u do if something like that happened to you?

 

Here's a quote from the book: "I know it's an infuriating concept-that men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth. My belief is that if you have to be the aggressor, if you have to pursue, if you have to do the asking out, nint times out of ten, he's just not that into you." My own belief is that guys may be guys, but they still have some kind of feelings. I know if I kept asking people out & kept getting rejected, I'd think "screw it. Obviously, I must not be doing something right, so I'm going to change something & let them come to me."

 

That guy's misinformed and generalizing a great amount. Most guys generally don't mind being persued. If you have to pursue him, he's probably really timid. And if he really is just "not that into you", what've you lost? 2 minutes of your time, maximum. You might be missing out on some really great, although very shy dudes, if you follow this guy's book. I don't see a reason to be timid on either side of the equation, though. It's an irrational fear, like stage fright. There's simply no real chance of you being beaten senseless for asking someone out, so the only real fear is being rejected, and that seems silly to me. You can't be that fragile emotionally that another human being telling you they're not interested tears down your gates. You could get rejected 50 times in one day, and finally meet one guy with whom you spend 10 years of your life, and with whom you share some of your greatest years and you look back on that day, and the minute you considered not talking to him, and you're incredibly thankful you did.

It's like friends. Everyone's a stranger the first day of work or school, and you're incredibly suprised how quickly people morph from strangers to friends. You end up smoking up with them, or jamming with them, and thinking how weird it was when this person you know now incredibly well was a stranger you were afraid to confront. We're all humans, and most of us share the same irrational fears most of which we force ourselves to overcome everyday, and most of us have been in or are in a bad relationship at the time you meet us, and we're just dying to meet someone like you (hypothetically). We're all looking to "get free" before we die, plainly and simply. No one is above that, and that's all you've gotta think about going into it. "This guy wants a woman like me, he wants to break free the same way I do, and he's probably just as afraid to confront new people as I am".

Or, I could be wrong, too, ... I guess.

 

U make a good point dear. Any sugestions, as a guy, how it is I am attracted 2 guys who aren't attracted 2 me since we're on the subject of confusing things?

 

Sorry, but that didn't ring clear to me. Could you reword that just a little maybe?

 

Sorry 'bout that What I ment 2 say is I always like guys who seem 2 have no intrest in me. I'll try initiate a conversation but is usually goes nowhere. Most of the guys that do "hit" on me are the wrong ones. It gets VERY frustrating.