some issues with sex in relationship

Hi all,
I’m not sure if I’m in the right place for this, but here goes.

I’ve been dating this girl for a little over 3 months now. And we’ve been running into some hang ups about sex. Mostly on my part. To preface things, I’ve not had a very active sex life, dated a girl 6ish years ago, and had sex with her but it was long distance so was one weekend a month kind of thing. After that the next girl I dated I didn’t have sex with at all. Now I’m with my current gf, and it was ~5 years since the last time I’d had sex. Things are mostly ok, except of course where endurance is severely lacking.

I however have a little bit of a problem. I have kept my sexual urges under huge amounts of control for a really long time. My imagination and drive are low(while her libido is quite high usually). My gf is largely submissive, so she wants me to take control more and I’m having a lot of trouble with it(I’m also a little bit submissive, though I know I can be dominant, in general life). I also have trained myself to respond to my partner’s desires more than my own. I want to make sure I keep her happy and satisfied, and I think I need to figure out how to take control more easily and not hesitate or be uncertain in what I’m doing.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I hope this was clear

S

 

she wants you to rape her..

, or she will not be fulfilled..

 

Ask her what she wants or what makes her feel good during intercourse. Also, don't be afraid to discover and try new things. It'll make sex more exciting! Being confident and calm helps too.

 

Have you tried role-playing? Might be a good way to take some of the pressure off you if you're just "acting." At least until you feel more comfortable being more dominant.

Really though, the only way you're going to get used to being the more dominant one is through repetition. When you're about to have sex with your gf, take control by telling her what you want her to do to you. Conversely, tell her what you're going to do to her. Taking control can make for some fun and naughty sex if you let it.

 

I dont care if you dont like my comment.. I get laid everyday.. hahah .. rape is just a word like faggot.. faggots hides behind computer and negs someone post cause they aint getting no pussy.. awe, to bad..

 

"Things are mostly ok, except of course where endurance is severely lacking."

That is NOTHING new for most men. Unless you "recover" quickly for another round, you probably won't find a "satisfied" lover. (see next comment for a different endurance problem)

"I however have a little bit of a problem. I have kept my sexual urges under huge amounts of control for a really long time. My imagination and drive are low(while her libido is quite high usually)."

Keep in mind, all muscles NEED a regular workout. You can't run before you walk. That's a physical need. For the mental stimulation, porn usually will get you there. Watch alone or even better, together.


"My gf is largely submissive, so she wants me to take control more and I’m having a lot of trouble with it(I’m also a little bit submissive, though I know I can be dominant, in general life)."

At one time or another, everyone wants someone to lead. You'll just have to take turns.


"I also have trained myself to respond to my partner’s desires more than my own. I want to make sure I keep her happy and satisfied, and I think I need to figure out how to take control more easily and not hesitate or be uncertain in what I’m doing."

If your urge level rises, you'll do just fine "taking control".

I hope it works out for you. If not, get another fish - the sea is very big.