Hello!!! I have a bit of a strange question, primarily for males, but I don't mind comments from both sides. I am 18 and my boyfriend is 22. He came off anti-depressants a couple of months ago because it lowered his sex drive. Since then the sex has been really good up until the last couple of weeks. He just wasn't in the mood for any sex. I talked to him about it yesterday, and said that he gets randy at certain times of the day (ie in the middle of the day, but I'm not there because he's at work!). He also mentioned that men have their sexual peak when they are 18. He feels that he is a bit over the hill and that perhaps this is related to me not getting much action. Since being off his anti-depressants, he has been having a lot of anxiety problems, which I have been helping him work through, but I am very worried about him. I love him immensely, and if it meant I could be with him, I would go sexless for the rest of my life. I am just a bit confused. Is is because he is losing interest in me, or is it because his anxiety is making him believe that he can't have sex because his is too old?? If anyone can provide me with assistance of any kind it would be muchly appreciated. Sorry for the lengthy topic!
Hey im a chick, but from what you've stated, i think it might be because of his anxiety. Maybe he's just never had a huge sex drive or has lost it because of the drugs, you said he didnt have one when he was on them, and you've said he doesnt have one when off them aswell. What was his sex drive like way before the anti-depressants? I wouldnt think its because of you.
When I met him, he was on anti-depressants, but for about a month or so after coming off them, he had a really good sex drive. It's just been these last couple of weeks that he hasn't been as eager to have sex...I know he's not a cheater...but the fact that he just never feels like it just made me wonder if it's his age or if it's anxiety, or me!!! I would like to know what is going on in his mind, that's all...
It's probaly not age, he prbably is just readjusting from not having any meds, yeah Ive been there it sounds like paranohia. You would be suprised men as much as women need to be told how much they are appreciated and loved. I am sure you have done this but it never hurts to say it more. Good luck I hope I was helpful.You can talk if you have anymore ques.
Every day I tell him how much I love and appreciate him, and I am always smothering him with kisses and hugging!!! He is pretty good to talk to about issues, which is very good, it's good that I can be so open about things with him. I basically just spoke to him about it....I asked him if there was something wrong with me that made him not want to have sex with me, and I also asked him if he had any anxiety or if he was worried about things. He told me that he had had a lot of pain in the past which was why he went on the anti-depressants in the first place. He came off the anti-depressants because he knew that I wasn't getting much action, which was good. It worked for a while, but he is beginning to think a lot about things, seeing we are thinking of moving, and he has no intention of breaking up with me. He is already planning our future together and I guess he is worried that it might all fall apart for us... In the meantime I am doing my best and trying as hard as I can to look after him..
He was on his medication for a reason, he stopped just `cause of wanting to have a sex-life ..bottom line is he`ll end up right back here no matter whether he`s on the medication or not. he needs to sort through whatever it is (via the drugs), and then afterwards, things`ll be better.
anti depressants can mess with your head, believe me i know! maybe he just needs some time to adjust, time to get them all out of his system and get back to life without them! but its very important that you remember its not you! cos in a relationship that can mess you up too! good luck sweetie, hope it all gets better for you! Ellie xxxxxx
Having recently given up anti-depressants, from his point of view, it could be a physical/mental adjustment from not having the medications. You didn't mention what he was taking, but there are MANY anti-depressants that give some people "withdrawal" effects. You might google the name of the medication he was taking and see if any of the things he's experiencing are related to not taking the meds. I had a hard time with dizziness, anxiety and insomnia when I first quit taking my anti-depressants. I probably could have alleviated those by tapering the dose before quitting completely but I was ready to be rid of them. I hope that things get better for you two, it sounds like you care a lot for each other and that helps. Oh, and I think it's awesome that you talk so openly with him. That's cool. Gina.
