So I'm at a party last night. It's winding down, not many people left. I'm sitting with this guy - who is maybe a friend, maybe more, but that's besides the point and his flatmates. Anyway, this guy, i'll call him sam, is the only guy in the room and someone comes in to say that the door to the bathroom is stuck. His flatties were all like "meh, you're a boy, go fix it." and started telling me, really proudly, how they make him do EVERYTHING around the flat - the rubbish, the lightbulbs etc..they were even 'pour me a drink because you are a boy and you should' So i'm a little tipsy and this fully irritated me. These lazy girls can't be assed to get up off the couch and they make this poor sweet boy run around after them. So I asked why they couldn't fix stuff themselves and they said 'oh. we're girls'. and from this we started having an argument. I said that being a girl is no excuse to not take care of your own problems. I'm a girl, but because I want to be treated as an equal I'll start by acting like an equal. This apparently really pissed them off, so they spent the rest of the night ranting to anyone that would listen about that "skank with sam" i don't know...do people like this irritate anyone else? And does taking care of myself make me a 'skank'?
theyre stupid bitches and id convince 'sam' to quit taking their abuse. or you could just fuck em up. cause' worse comes to worse you reserve the right to fuck them up. (it dosent sound too hard either)
lol, haven't talked to him about the whole skank thing...but i know it was pissing him off how they expected/demanded him to be their errand boy.
Ah I see. I was just wondering ya know...because why does he do it? If it were reversed,and you lived with guys,I'm sure you wouldn't wait on them hand and foot. That's just not cool,with a guy or a girl. I think alot of women feel they can gain power over men. Perhaps they feel it's owed to them or something,not sure. I can even understand in a romantic relationship...sometimes a guy may do all sorts of things for a girl,and maybe she would take him for granted sometimes. It could happen. With roomies though,that should be a friendship. They're not treating him like a friend,they're treating him like a servant. He shouldn't go along with it. As long as he does,they'll keep doing it.
Oh and it's so wrong for them to call you names. That's simple to explain though. They can't handle a difference of opinion(probably more so,since it was an intelligent opinion). So instead of changing or atleast maturely discussing it...they would rather trash you. That's so typical. Are you planning on telling Sam what they said about you?
I used to love beating up those kinds of girls. Tell Sam they are not his friends and that they are abusing him. If he doesnt take to it then he probably likes it or is scared what will happen when word ofhim standng up for himself gets around.
that's really lame of them. why doesn't he stand up for himself, though? if my roomie always treated me that way, i would not be compliant. does he ever say anything to them about their expectations? or i guess more importantly, does he even see it as a problem? have you been around the flat long enough to know if the girls help out at all? you said they ask him to pour their drinks and such; was that just for "show" or to be funny since they had people over and were drunk, or do they seriously ask him to cook their food and such? i think that's a bit doubtful, i don't see how someone could let themselves become a total servant for multi-roomies. perhaps in all-around "maintanence", maybe, but not to the point of actually waiting on them all hand and foot. sometimes i "expect" my male roomie to take out the trash, but only because we've talked about it and 35 gallons of crammed crap gets wayy too heavy for me to make it to the dumpster. but it's not because he's a guy, it's because he can actually lift/carry it. instead, i'll do the dishes when he takes out the trash, or run the vaccuum, whatever. maybe they have a set-up like that, and just didn't mention it to make themselves look "cool" or dominant or whatever.. like to show off, for the guests. i don't know why they'd think that was funny though. maybe it's a similar line of thought, and he changes the lightbulbs because he's the only one who can actually reach them (personally, i'd rather just pull up a stool and do it myself)? i don't know, and i'm not trying to justify what they're doing. it's just that if sam doesn't see a problem with what they're doing, then maybe something else is going on to make up for it, or balance things out. maybe they always clean the house, or cook him food, to make up for his maintanence work? or maybe they roll him a sliff once the guests have left, to thank him for his work? has he been living there long? if things are as bad as you make them sound, then he'll probably snap soon. but anyway, if i had been there, i would have been really irritiated, as well. good for you, for questioning them, rather than just letting it slide. and of course, taking care of yourself doesn't make you a skank. you know that. they're just idiots, and one day their own sexism will bite them in their bum.
Im sure.. Michael wants to be a woman remember.... Anyways.... That sucks hun.. .It does not make you a skank.. Their just stupid Bitches.. dont worry about them or what they say!
you know, i'd like to add that if he's expected to be the "home repair guy" then he should get to pay less rent. perhaps, if they're being real horrible about things and really do make him work and fix more than his share, they could pick up his share of the bills or something.
I usually don't mind doing stuff for my friends,or for women,but I wouldn't care to be disrespected and treated with contempt.I'll bend over backward for people I like.In the long run,what goes around comes around though and I might need some return on my investment.
while it was wrong of them to treat him and you that way, WTF is he still doing living there? Sounds like he's just a big pushover and if he doens't speak up, it's his own damn fault. Women can't MAKE men do anything.
maybe he could start expecting them to cook, clean, wash the clothes, change the beds, wash the floors..etc...they might start thinking twice about what constitutes "womans" work and want to renegotiate after a bit!!
True dat! I can't even get my dh to take off his shoes when he comes in the house all muddy, and we are pretty respectful of each other.
Well, I myself am a proud and very stubborn martyr type of chick. My husband actually gets upset because I want to do everything myself. I have no problem whipping out tools and fixing things that need it, I have no problem taking the garbage out, or mowing the lawn, or lifting heavy things, and doing it all in a dress. I'm as girly as they get! I confessed to my husband just the other day that the very few times I DO ask for a man's help, it's not because I can't do it myself, it's only because I'm experimenting with being a woman who feels she needs the help of a man, to see how it feels to have a man do everything for me. To give a man the satisfaction that he's the "big strong male". I'm serious! I don't like it, I'd rather do it myself, but it's great that I have a man who wants to pamper me. But I suppose I feel like I want to prove that I'm just as equal and capable, if not even moreso, than the guys. Just standing up for us ladies!
That sucks Soph, those girls sound pretty retarded. My male flattie used to be like that but now we get him to cook and take out the rubbish, while me and the other girl do all the cleaning and tidying. Its a good arrangment.
