Some Friendly Advice Needed On Friendship

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Lady Neko, Apr 8, 2007.

  1. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    okay here's the short story. i have this best friend of 5 years who lives about 4 hours from me. i used to live where she lives but i moved to go to school. isaw her last in the beginning of march and we were happy and having a good visit. well i have been calling her for two weeks and she has been blowingme off. i send her messages on myspace. i see that she reads them but never replies. her friends on her space comment that they had a good time hanging out or whateever. she is a single mom and her daughter always comes first. which is of just cause. but if she has time to hang out with other people and bs around on myspace why can't she spend 2 minutes to e-mail or call me? i sent her a message telling her that i was hurt and if she did not reply to that message or call me i would take it that we were not friends anymore. the thing is i have had a few people, close friends, walk out of my life in the past two years. 4 to be precise. my dad says that i am a "push over" and that people walk all over me cause i am very nice and once they are done then they leave. this is really depressing for me. any comments?
  2. neponiatka

    neponiatka Senior Member

    are ya sure you havent hurt her in some way???

    coz it's really strange... i can see no other reason.
  3. Kollontai

    Kollontai Member

    it seems she doesn't regard u as friend
  4. lunarflowermaiden

    lunarflowermaiden Senior Member

    Have you had any arguments or disagreements lately? Has she ever acted as though she took a comment you made in the wrong way? If you cannot think of anything you did on your part, then it must be on her part. Are you absolutely sure she has been receiving your messages? I do not use Myspace, but I have friends who tell me it acts up quite often. Were you leaving messages when you called her, or were you just calling and hanging up? If you were calling without leaving messages, it likely she is just unaware of the phone calls. I think you made the right choice in telling her you are hurt by this. She really should know how you feel. I know exactly how you feel about people walking all over you and dropping you the minute you are of no use. It has happened to me many times. My one friend told me in the middle of an argument one time that I could be stabbed with a knife and loaning that same person money right after being stabbed. Having a personality like ours is just a welcome mat for all of the users in the world. It is terrible. Do you feel she has been using you for some reason? It is possible, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. Think about your friendship and the role that you played. Was it just you doing favors for her, or was it a true friendship?
  5. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    i know i did not do anything. i have not talked to her for three or four weeks. we both live far away and life gets in the way. but i have left messages and such. it just really sucks. i think i am done. if she wants to do this you are right she is not a cool friend. but since people seem to "use" me it really makes me thinks twice about socializing. idk
  6. Kollontai

    Kollontai Member

    this is social life, i have experienced too many things like that, u can say i already lose confidence on human being, however, my morale is high, i want to start a new life, now, i am going to pursue it!!!!
  7. BraveSirRubin

    BraveSirRubin Members

    Just let it go... people drift apart.

    Believe me, if she truly appreciates you as a friend, then she'll come back.

    I move around a lot and find it very hard to keep in touch with friends, distance does that.
  8. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    k you. i feel much better. you all rock and are friends to me as well. ^_^
  9. sohip19

    sohip19 Member

    what i would do is ask her whats wrong and why is she ignoring you. if she doesnt respond then id say give her time. let her realize what shes doing is wrong. if she never comes around then thats really sad that shes going to throw away 5 years of being best friends for no reason.
  10. Lady Neko

    Lady Neko Member

    haven't heard from her and really don't care. its her loss. i have life to love ^_^
  11. His Eden

    His Eden Queen of Mean

    I agree with Brave Sir Robin because people do drift apart. It doesn't mean that either of you did anything wrong just that you are headed in different directions in your life.

    You will find that as you get older you make fewer friends, but they are friendships that stand the test of time. I live almost 1000 miles from some of my friends and even though we only talk occasionally we are still very close. We don't have to talk all the time to stay friends, and know that if we need each other we are just a phone call away and that hasn't changed in 10 years.
  12. sanja_serbia

    sanja_serbia Senior Member

    I had the exact same problem with my ex-best friend, I saw her a day before my birthday and she was ok, but she didn't come to my birthday party and I haven't heard from her since then, I didn't know what went wrong and after a while I stopped questioning myself, but I sure am going to ask her as soon I get the chance...
    You did what you could, now wait and see...You're right, you have a a life to live and other people to meet...:)

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