In the past of our great grandparents, as you probably know, masturbation was considered by general society to be pathogenic — could make you crazy or blind. The pious thought it to be an affront to G-d. I don’t think those attitudes stopped anybody from doing it, but I’m sure the guilt afterward completely ruined the experience for many. By the time I was coming of age (in the 1960s), attitudes among the enlightened had changed and masturbation was accepted in those circles as a normal part of life. Still it was not something you ordinarily talked about. I can remember only two friends from my middle school years who actually admitted to doing it. I don’t remember anybody admitting to being a masturbator in high school or college. The societal attitude was still that it was something to be kept in the dark. I understand that nowadays among young folks, there is less shame about it. Yet still I’m sure even among them, one’s masturbatory life is not a common topic of conversation. And calling somebody a wanker is still an insult. And social masturbation is still considered kind of weird. Imagine now if society were completely ok with masturbation being natural and joyous and something you could discuss as easily as you discuss music. Imagine a society where a dialog like the following happened all the time: “Ronnie — you’re gonna be late. Hurry on down.” “On my way, Mom.” “Here’s your lunch. Did you finish your homework?” “Yeah Mom. Gotta go.” “Did you remember to masturbate this morning?” “Yeah, I got one off in the shower. I’ll be fine.” “You know, a healthy lad your age ought to be masturbating twice each morning.” “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll do it again on the bus.” We still have a long way to go before we sing songs about the joys of masturbation. Just once in my life I’d love to attend a party where part of the fun is where everybody, male and female, shares the joy of pleasuring themselves to climax in full view of everybody else, and with zero shame.
If asked, I will admit to doing it. But I’m not about to do it in front of anyone other than my wife. I am 53 years old. Absolutely no one would admit to masturbating when I was in junior high or high school. Obviously everyone did it, but no one would admit doing it. Just like all those guys who claimed to have had sex, but hadn’t.
Masturbation is a part of the sex life for %90 of men and %80 to %85 of women. Many nations have done this sexual behaver historically, which it has been recorded in ancient literature. It is quoted that Plato and his friend every morning came to the main city square of ancient Rome and started masturbating altogether in public. At that time the people accepted it as a public sport. So masturbation is not a new issue for many people. If somedays the ordinary people talk without any embarrassment about sex as a regular subject, masturbation will be discussed too without any shame.
Unless you’re an exhibitionist, or participate in orgies, sex is very much a private matter. Even if you do it in the great outdoors. Masturbation will always be more private than that. It really is a personal thing. Putting it on display is, on my opinion, a fetish. Everyone needs their alone time, be that with a partner or a ménage a moi. My 2¢ worth.
Bullshit. In the time period you refer to, there were rules of propriety, but most people knew that they were nonsense. Even though Miss Grundy said (and wrote in the behavior manuals of the time) that masturbation was wrong, general society knew otherwise, they just didn't broadcast that knowledge the way that the wowsers broadcast their rules. By analogy, Emily Post wrote that the soup spoon and the dinner spoon were different, but the vast majority knew different and used only one spoon without feeling guilt. Similarly with sexual instructions, the limitations that were publicly published were widely ignored and privately laughed at by most people. In a similar vein, the Hays Commission (censored movies) didn't represent the average of community standards, it represented the most repressive end of the spectrum. And the average knew that the official line was skewed way to one side, both artistically and in respect to sex. Your g.g.grandma knew what the little man in her boat was for and how to use it. And she didn't feel guilty about it. She was smarter than that.
