so, I've decided to not keep a relationship with my father's side of the family...

Discussion in 'All in the Family' started by cerridwen, May 26, 2006.

  1. cerridwen

    cerridwen in stitches

    How can I be surprised that this is an issue? :rolleyes:

    Ok, long story short: My dad is the eldest of 3. My grandmother and her sister, my great aunt, are the type of people who LOVE to hate each other, argue to the point sometimes of having chunks of hair torn out, bruising, and stitches. One of my uncles have absorbed this type of behavior more so than my other uncle or my dad. The family as a whole cannot possibly be more verbally abusive or condescending. My mother has always hated being part of this family, aside from being with my father, but only stayed 'for the sake of the kids'.

    Although I've grown up with this sort of abuse, I've always been 'out of the loop' of it all,thankfully. 3 years ago, while my husband and I were engaged, I got to join this little circle of hate that exists. My grandmother, one day while I was visiting, for the dozenth time, lectured me about how much of a whore my mother apparently was, how I shouldn't marry my husband (well, fiance at the time) because he was nothing but an abusive drunk Irishman (oh yea, I forgot to tell you, my father's side of the family hates anyone who isn't white, Polish, or Catholic) etc etc etc. I've gotten the same or similar accusations and verbal abuse from my great aunt and my uncle over the years.

    So, at the wedding, neither my great aunt, grandmother, or one uncle were invited, and I haven't seen any of them since. I've made this executive decision that I don't want my husband or whatever kids I have to be raised with this sort of family around. And of course, it's an issue with my dad to the point where it's damaging our relationship - well, more so than usual. It's a whole arguement about how dare I be ashamed of this side of the family. (Are we kidding? Still don't know? Seriously.)

    Anyway, I'm not the one who's really wrong here, am I?
     
  2. Micha

    Micha Now available in Verdana!

    good on ya :D



    sorry about your dad though..
    just let him know how you're feelin..
     
  3. Stillravenmad

    Stillravenmad Member

    You're not wrong, but neither is your dad.
     
  4. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    good on you
    better to avoid that kind of hatred/negativity, especially while your kids are still growing up.
    I don't know about no contact at all... maybe penpals/emails/phonecalls, but not face to face stuff or not with the kids around?
    (my mom did a similar thing.. her aunts/everyone but her dad and stepmom told her to her face that she would be a terrible, horrible, awful mother and should give me up for adoption, bleh)
     
  5. cerridwen

    cerridwen in stitches

    Easier said than done... I'm quite vocal about it, and the last thing I want to do is offend him, but considering the situation, it truly is better this way.


    true that.
    I've tried dealing with them, even minimally w/o the rest of my family, but it's all the same shit, sadly. I'm absolutely one of those people who are into having family around, but not at this rate.
     

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