How can I be surprised that this is an issue? Ok, long story short: My dad is the eldest of 3. My grandmother and her sister, my great aunt, are the type of people who LOVE to hate each other, argue to the point sometimes of having chunks of hair torn out, bruising, and stitches. One of my uncles have absorbed this type of behavior more so than my other uncle or my dad. The family as a whole cannot possibly be more verbally abusive or condescending. My mother has always hated being part of this family, aside from being with my father, but only stayed 'for the sake of the kids'. Although I've grown up with this sort of abuse, I've always been 'out of the loop' of it all,thankfully. 3 years ago, while my husband and I were engaged, I got to join this little circle of hate that exists. My grandmother, one day while I was visiting, for the dozenth time, lectured me about how much of a whore my mother apparently was, how I shouldn't marry my husband (well, fiance at the time) because he was nothing but an abusive drunk Irishman (oh yea, I forgot to tell you, my father's side of the family hates anyone who isn't white, Polish, or Catholic) etc etc etc. I've gotten the same or similar accusations and verbal abuse from my great aunt and my uncle over the years. So, at the wedding, neither my great aunt, grandmother, or one uncle were invited, and I haven't seen any of them since. I've made this executive decision that I don't want my husband or whatever kids I have to be raised with this sort of family around. And of course, it's an issue with my dad to the point where it's damaging our relationship - well, more so than usual. It's a whole arguement about how dare I be ashamed of this side of the family. (Are we kidding? Still don't know? Seriously.) Anyway, I'm not the one who's really wrong here, am I?