So I *want* to like this guy

yup

 

i hope youre dreams come true tuesdaystar,i honestley mean it

 

Do you think your friend told you that because she is interested in him? Hang in there Tuesday after all you are a STAR and you will find someone when you least expect it. :grouphug:

 

Could she have been being possibly protective of him because you had a few partners and she is basing a relationship with him on that?

Maybe you should ask her why she feels that way as it could be a simple misunderstanding of why you would like to get to know him a little better.

Most people go through a transition when a relationship ends, pretty normal to either find a few casual partners or find none at all. That has nothing to do with future relationships if a person is ready to move on.


Hope it works out for you.

 

that too

 

your ok..dont listen to anyone and feel what is in your heart

 

If you think that you and this fellow could be friends and eventually move onto a possible relationship then approach him. Start as friends and see what happens. If it is not meant to be then find someone who you want to be a friend with as well as a lover.

It is unfortunate that she reacted that way but if that is how she truly feels you are better off knowing that and letting that friendship settle and fall where it does. If she does not try to understand where you were at then perhaps that says it all.

Give yourself permission to just let go of all that you want gone. It is ok and it is a good place to be to learn about you and what you need. In the end it will settle as you are too sensible for it not to. You will get there and you are being a good mom, give yourself some credit for the good you are doing.

 

I think this is great advice. Just relax and try to be friends. I wonder if your other friend has her eyes on the guy and that's why she wants you to back off.

 

why not throw some big clues his way and see if he responds? What do you have to lose?

 

Fucking voodoo magick, mahn.

 

The thing that nags at the back of my head about your situation, Tuesday, is that you *want* to like this guy rather than that "like" element being the primary drive. Or, do you actually like him romantically? Is that feeling already present within you? Or do you wish to develop that feeling toward him starting now? I just want this part clarified before proceeding with my take on your situation......

 

I'm attracted to him. I have a good feeling about him. I don't get to spend much time with him. I like the idea that I might get to spend more time with him.

 

Then go for it. If it doesn't work out...it's not the end of the world. At least you will know you you went for it and there is something to be said for that by itself.

 

Yeah. I'm just gonna be still with it and see if anything pulls us together.

 

Well, maybe something pulls together by itself...maybe it doesn't. It doesn't sound good that you possibly have a blocker (for lack of a better term) in the way. But I hope you go for it. If it doesn't work out? No biggie.

 

As your friend, it sucks that your feelings weren't validated and that you got such a harsh response...but even though it's fun to think about...I think there is something somewhat...sleazy (and I don't mean you're sleazy) about going after someone after they've just left a serious relationship. I'm not saying you can't or shouldn't be interested in him, but what I'm saying is maybe your friend was jumping to conclusions thinking you're going to use him, hurt him, etc. and it sounds like if you really want to have something real, it's probably a good idea to give it time.

Otherwise maybe she is jealous and wanted him for herself? Also I think if all you want is casual then I don't think it'd be so bad to go after him, as long as that's what he wants as well...but most people go into relationships with baggage if it immediately follows the end of a serious relationship, so be cautious of that.

I'd go into it, like putting out some radar and then just trying to settle into a little bit of a closer friendship just to start. Who knows what kind of steam he might need to blow off right now?

 

That's a really good point though. I think for myself and many others I've talked to sometimes we are very practical about wanting something and will put "someone" in the place to represent the something we want...not really wanting that person, but using that person as a symbol of what we want...does that make sense? If that's the case, just make sure the guy doesn't get serious about you or that you don't psyche yourself up into thinking you are serious and really want him, when you really just want...something. ykwim?

(also I'm just an amateur, you could very well ignore me too)

 

Yeah just FYI to anybody reading this guys hate being put in this position of romantic symbology and summarily dumped or replaced, we're addressing this phenomena when we talk about women giving mixed messages about being interested or not when it comes to serious relationships and love.

 

There a couple phrases in there that are likely to make a guy go soft.

First off, referring to a guy as super cute, just sounds like you want to have another babeeeee.

And "gentle healing together" thats so gay when I read it, unconsciously my left hand started searching through my CD collection. Wasnt till the end of the post I realized it was trying to load a Cher CD

 

Those are not the only ones. They were peppered throughout, starting with the title.