So, I might actually have the bad luck of dieing at the evil 27

Okay, I've been posting about my health problems a tiny bit in this forum but mostly in my journal and lucky spiral for the past few weeks but I thought since things are getting worse... I'd post a long thread about it here now.

I just really need to talk about things.... the ativan refill I got today is not helping me thus far at all to relax (well, maybe a little)

Some background- three and a half weeks ago I had been up for three days and was drunk and felt something pop or burst in my brain... after much urging from some people, I got my husband to take me to the ER. They said I didn't have a stroke and even though my husband noticed my right pupil was much bigger than the left there, they never conducted any tests of me expect looking into the eyes with a light. They did stay my brain wasnt recieving oxygen and they put something in my nose to give me more oxygen.... an IV in to give me water and vitamins and minerals and injected me with ativan for four days straight while I laid in bed and then I went home. (i also had one seizure while in the er)

I went to see my family doctor (who happened to be at the hospital when I was in... he works at both places) and I had him look at my pupils, as one was still larger... he said they react to light and follow and usually he says when they do that not to worry.... but I prolly should go to an optamologist for more thorough tests. My blood pressure was also EXTREMLY high then, even though I had even quit smoking and I excercise and eat healthy. I have a follow up app. in a week and a half there about my blood pressure.

This morning I went to see the optamologist who informed me the larger pupil is the problem pupil... that none of my meds would cause it... as well as other non-threatening things I had been hoping would be the cause. He said it could be a mostly harmless optic nerve damage, but if not that... it would be a neurological problem. I told him my other symptoms, including how espiecially in the past few days I have been getting EXTREME pressure on the side of my head/temple that has the large pupil, as well as a raised area there and on my forehead. My neck is also sore and raised. He said that, with my pupil problem is REALLY cause for concern....

So he got me an appt. to go to a hospital optha-neurologist for testing next Tues. morning.

I'm making an EDUCATED guess that I hope is wrong that it is an aneurysm. I'm hoping I am wrong though but the pupil, with the pressure are the main symptoms. So if I'm right... please don't rupture, please don't rupture! I'm so scared. I just hope that if it is something bad, it can be treated.

It's crazy... I'm starting to look at the world differently. Like any second could be the last second I see it....

 

Everyone tells me to calm down- my husband, my mom, the optamologist, my friends... to just relax.... I can't even breathe. It just seems easy for everyone else, who ISN'T having this happen to them saying 'just relax"- like it is that easy... My ativan wont even calm me down... it's REALLY hard to breathe... I feel like my head is just not getting enough oxygen and I'm scared to death at the same time.

I don't wanna die at 27 or 28 and I don't wanna have surgery... I feel like my life is really just beginning and i cant believe this is happening....

 

I hate HATE how they are making you wait that long... You should put your foot down and tell them you can't wait till then that you need to have it done now...
You have to be very firm and in a "ass kicking" type of mode when you deal with doctors, they don't care what is wrong, they make you wait too long for things. If you are worried and you feel not right about something (only you know how you feel inside and what your body is telling you) don't sit back and wait, put your foot down and your foot in some people's asses and get it taken care of as soon as possible, tell them you can't wait that long and you want it taken care of now...
I know it's easier said then done, but I've had to stir up quite a commotion in order to get some help, and I am very thankful I did... Always listen to your body and what it is telling you.. If you feel like you do, don't sit and wait, kick some ass...

 

curious, do you use eyedrops?

my aunt has one pupil larger then the other.
and is your vision fine through that eye?

 

I am very sorry to hear that Lucky, but I would think if they thought you were in imminent danger, they would have had you in the hospital immediately.

I understand the inability to relax...half the time i walk around thinking about dying any second without any known health problems.

I am sure most of the breathing problems have to do with being on the verge of a panic attack, and I surely understand why that would be the case.

If you have to have surgery to correct a problem, its not necessarily going to be a big deal, and you will probably come out of it good as new

If you really feel that you need to be in the hospital , call your doctor back and tell him that, and see what he says...might calm you down anyway

best of luck lady, you know i care a lot about you

 

You would be half surprised at how they don't do that... Half the time doctors don't believe you or they think you are lying or crazy...

 

Holy shit....I sort of know what you're going through. I had acute liver failure 2 1/2 years ago. I was jaundiced for a week and a half before I went to the ER. I went into a coma a few days after that and ended up having a liver transplant, without which I had over a 95% chance of dying. I was originally misdiagnosed as having hepatitis A, but the doctors never figured out what caused my liver to fail. I was in huge denial for most of the time, but you're welcome to PM me if you want more support.

 

ok 1st off if you screw with the ativan prescription it doesnt help anxiety...it causes it
plesase be very carefuyl with it its an evil drug that most likely is causing alot of the panic

secind if you fear anorysym screw waiting a week fopr an apointment
go to the er with everything you knoiw tell them that you want a mri and cat scan immediately
tell thenm you feel an increasing pressure in your head and a lump forming and u felt something go pop in your brain and you are afraid u wont live till next week

im not saying panic, but dont accept the wait a week and see complacency either..
the symptoms sure do warrent immediate care and concern..
dont hesitate..get it looked into emmidiately

 

believe me, I hate doctors so much its ridiculous, but the fear of lawsuits does have its benefits.

They told me I could wait a week and ________happened

call a lawyer and you are a millionaire

but I think everyone else has the better advise. go to the ER today

EDIT: my girlfriend who works at a hospital said to go to the ER today too

 

Eh, I'd have to say that out of my own opinion doctors could give two shits about lawsuits. (every doctor is different) I am just basing this off of my expierence and journey with doctors... And trying to file one against one who screwed up and caused you more problems or the loss of something or whatever isn't that easy as well... Again, just basing this off of myself...



Only lucky knows how she feels inside and if her body is telling her that something is wrong then she should have the tests and such done as soon as she can and not wait...

 

also, I might have someone drive me to Philadelphia and go to a bigger hospital.

small ones seem to suck bad

 

If i die young id like to punch my ticket at 28, just to out do those fools who died at 27.

 

Okay... I'm gonna try to respond to all of this. I'm upset that I went to the er THREE AND A HALF WKS AGO when i first felt the pop (that is the day my pupil got larger too) and no testing was done.

I'm mad that my family doctor said he wouldnt worry about it cause my eyes follow and I'm a bit upset I have to wait almost a week for my neurologist appt. at the hospital. I kept telling D that if something happens before then.... omg....

I really dont want to go to the er right now. I'm gonna take another ativan and see how I feel. I KNOW my head (side of it) is raised up much more then on the other side... D felt it too. I know every day the headaches and pressure there and in my neck are getting worse and worse... so i may end up going before Tuesday....

Van_gogh- No, I dont use eye drops. I also didnt get any chemicals in my eye or any trauma to the eye or anything else the optamologist was asking me.

If it's not an aneurysm it could be adie's pupil which is harmless but i doubt it because the other symptoms im getting... hmmmm other options are MS or a brain tumor. The thing is, I dont appear to have any other symptoms of those two things so that's why im thinking an anerysm.... i took my husbands blood pressure lowering drug today and im gonna continue... and an aspirin....

Anyways thanks gary...and i do hope you are right...

Strawberry..that sucks but Im glad you were able to get a transplant. I just may pm you sometime as I have a feeling I'll be having moments where I need people to talk to about it....

I've seriously never went through anything this scary in my life. I'm in disbelief and scared.


Eagle- I've been taking the ativan for three and a half weeks... but until today (im gonna need lots today and LOTS on tues.) i had not been taking that much. Yesterday I took one one milligram pill.... split it in half... took half and then only took a quarter more. It still helps my anxiety cause I try not to take much of it unless i feel i NEED it. Like now.

 

I would go today, and I would go to Philly

seriously, everyone thinks so

 

Oh and yes, van gogh... my vision is fine in both pupils.

 

If the doctor says wait a week, maybe. If you sign yourself out of the ER your screwed. I went for pain in my chest once and they did x rays and sent me home, saying I probably had inflamed muscle around my lungs and treated me like a junkie trying to con some meds out of them. But they called me the next day and said they reviewed my xrays and that my lung had collapsed 60% and was on the verge of collapsing completley.
Fuck doctors like that, all I got to say

 

If the doctor says wait a week maybe what, relayer?

Well, I dont know who would take me to Philly today... maybe I can get Dan or my mom to take me tomorrow... if I dont feel any better.... or maybe this weekend... I know if I end up having to have surgery I'm gonna look into going to the BEST possible hospital for that... the testing... I'm pretty sure they can do anywhere... but if it goes any further then that.. yeah....

 

I couldn't move, get dressed, brush my hair. Do anything, for a long time. And i'd call up for an appointment and they'd give me one 4 weeks later.
You have to voice your concern and make them give you either a closer appointment or like seamonster said, you can go to a bigger hospital.

I went from my family doctor, to a bunch of diff doctors, to eventually a well known, good rep hospital that finally diagnosed me. But really, they will just tell you to chill and to wait unless you make it obvious you can not. I called, and called.


And, if your vision is fine in both eyes, thats a good sign that it's not a tumor or something of the sort. My aunt has the same problem just she overused eyedrops, and she doesnt have a bump anywhere...So i'm not sure.

 

If your hospital can't figure it out, then have them transfer you to a bigger one

Is the neurologist a traveling one, and thats why you have to wait till Tuesday?

 

This is why I wished I lived near you cause I would take you and I would kick some doctor ass as well...
Just make sure you listen to your body and what it is telling you and don't be afraid to tell people that something is really really wrong and someone needs to do something or give you some tests...