So... how should I do this?

This has to be the most difficult thing in the world! I am 17 and have had these intense feelings forever. What can I say dudes are hot! But now as everyone of my friends is off with girlfriends it is really starting to get to me. HOW THE FUCK DO I COME OUT? !!
This shit is really killing me! I guess my biggest concern is acceptance. I don't really know why either, my friends are as close as family to me and really heady, liberal people. But there is always the "other friends" we have a pretty large group we kick it with and there is always the issue of what will happen when they find out? My mom is really liberal and I don't think she would have the slightest problem but my dad is pretty damn conservative. Not that he has any control over me but i do still live @ home so... PLEASE HELP! Stories, advice, anything! I'm already the way I am I won't change but I'm afraid my life will. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

 

Coming out is a complex and potentially dangerous undertaking for most people.

Telling everybody (or telling a few guys that will soon spread the word) brings relatively few advantages. It actually sounds much grander than it really is.

You may find out that a number of dudes, who might be pretty willing to 'experiment' with you and have some fun in the process may be completely turned off by your revelation. This is not in your best interest.

Equally so, even if all your friends knew and were comfy with your being gay, none of them is really likely to do much about it. For a wont of a better expression, you'll still have to do all of your footwork and hunt your men down yourself.

Why would you adopt a bit of a more cautious approach? Declare your sex life, for what it is: your own, very private and personal matter. Go have some fun. Make friends and meet other dudes. Grow and mature and when the time comes, you'll share the news...

KD

 

Personally, I went with "don't ask, don't tell" until one of my friends what who's a girl kept pointing all these guys she thought was hot, and they weren't, so I felt I had to say something.

I still don't tell people unless they're close friends, although you should still be careful. My one good friend (who's almost like a little sister) can't keep her mouth shut, or says "they're gonna find out sooner or later" or "you shouldn't hide it/pretend that you're not"

I agree with kewldewd, your sex life is private. Venture out, but blowing the door off the closet isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 

So you SHOULDN'T come all the way out? That does seem a lot easier than worrying about acceptance from everyone. But at the same time if one person knows, like you friend said, won't many more follow? Thats why I kinda just want to be straight up (haha!) with everybody. I honestly think that my closest friends have the notion that i gay or at least not attracted to women as much as most 17 year old boys. I kinda don't know how to react when girls hit on me. And how do you find guys? And have boyfriends? Not just fuck-pals but like boyfriends.
Also what about parents?

 

If I have any future boyfriends, I doubt I will let them know where I live. Well... I might but I would make it clear as to my closeted status. Plus I'll probably get a track phone and give them that number only. I have someone living with me at the moment that I don't want to have any idea of my gay activities, thus my "crazy" precautions lol.
As for stds Ill just be very careful and use condoms until we are both tested.

 

You might want to start out by confiding in one of your closest friends first. If all goes well and they totally accept you for who you are, then you can progress from there. Their not truely your friends if they don't accept you for who you are. You'll probably gain alot of respect from them for actually coming out to them rather than hiding it.

As for meeting guys and dating, you've got alot of resources for that at your fingertips! Internet wasn't available everywhere until the mid 90s so it wasn't easy to find like-minded people to get in contact with other than maybe going to a bar. There are lots of web sites for gay teens (not just porn!) and some high schools in more progressive areas have GLBT (Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered) groups.

Good luck and keep us posted on how it goes, if you do decide to "creep out" of the closet.

 

I would say first of all tell a fue close friends then see how you feel and if you are comfortable with your sexualities then as you become more comfortable you can come out to more people. But in this situation i wouldn't suggest coming out to everyone at once. - That can be later with the way you may wish to show yourself, e.g. dressing more gay.

Also parent wise if you think that they may kick you out or be completely out of order then it may be a better idear to come out to them when you have left home and are settled.

good luck

Tim G

p.s. - feel free to pm me.