sleep issues are maxing me out

oohhh my sweet skylie...an easy little girl, but when it comes to sleeping we've been having 'issues' since she was an infant. she co slept until about 15 months then slept next to our bed till about19 months, then moved to a big girl bed in her very own room ~happily~ i thought we were home free...we stopped co sleeping bc i am pregnant and really needed some solid sleep.

the past few nights she has been either getting up in the middle of the night for 3,4 hours seeming tired but ready to play, or like last night, she just refused to go to sleep(despite being, i layed with her, and everytime she would fall deep asleep, and as soon as i left shed wake screaming. finally, after about a half hour of trying, we brought her in bed with us, and she zonked out all night.

nothing has really changed in her little life. she still naps in the morning, and a few weeks back she was pushing her afternoon nap time later and later so i stopped giving it to her and just had some quiet cuddle time instead.

so whats with the night waking and fight to go to sleep? has anyone been through this? i wonder if its just an active mind...she seems to be at an age where shes learning new things and doing new things at a fantastic clip~20 months....i wonder if this would even be an issue, if i werent so enormously pregnant and tired...i'm really trying to carry on the way i always do, but being this pregnant is forcing me to slow down lately...sigh....please tell me what you think~~~hugs~~to all who read this long post~~

 

Personally, I'd just bring her to bed with you and start co sleeping again. If you don't, don;t tell her it's because your PG and need the sleep, or your to big to sleep with her as she may start harboring resentful feeling towards the babe before s/he is born.

We have two queen beds together, if for some reason I need more room after the family bed fills up during the night, I choose an empty kid bed, if they find me, I just sneak back. Sometimes it's like playing musical beds, but the kids are happy and their needs are met.

 

i'm nak so sorry about the lower case letters


i agree with colorful. not co-sleeping isnt getting you any more sleep, so maybe try cosleeping again. lots of vkids has sleep issues when theyre on the verge of learning something new or going through a transition.

has she eaten any new foods lately. sometimes food allergies and upset tummies will prevent a babe from sleeping.

 

when I was pregnant with Meriel, Jenny slept in the bed with her Daddy and I slept alone. I got to a point where I couldn't sleep with someone breathing on me or touching me, and had to have my space. Developmental leaps will always mess up perfectly good sleep habits! She might be ready to drop a nap, too. That was the worst for me, Jenny stopped napping right when I needed naps really bad. That's when the VCR became my best friend, I hate to admit.

 

I am probably going to have a different opinion then most here but I would just put her in her own bed and be done with it. If you let her know that she is not going to break you down(get to go to your bed) she will quit the crying. Usually takes two nights. My brother had a simular issue and finally put the kid in his own bed at age 7. Still had the two-three nights of crying. Luckily my wife and I are on the same page here and after the first year it was kids in their own beds for good. Every once in awhile they get to sleep together for a special occasion. I don't know how everyone finds time to have sex with kids in your bed all the time. You have two choices deal with the crying but don't give in or just keep sharing beds until you are ready to deal with a couple nights of crying. Good Luck.

 

Well, sex doesn't HAVE to be done in a bed. I think co-sleeping makes sex a bit more interesting because you have to find new places and ways, and it's so quiet, kind of interesting.

As far as kids sleeping with you on a special occasion, that to me, says "Being close to mommy and daddy can only be done on a special occasion."

Some kids NEED the security of their parents for a very long time. And making them cry it out just because you THINK they're old enough to not need to sleep with you anymore just confuses them. All of a sudden, they're shoved off into their own little lonely nook, when just nights ago, they were safe and secure in their family bed.

 

Letting a baby or child "cry it out" is child abuse.

 

Not to mention, to put it in easier terms:

If you're tossing your baby in the air, like some people do...And the baby is tossed so high, he leaves your arms for just a second, he starts to feel safe and secure in the fact that you will again catch him. If you fail to catch him, he loses all that security. all of it.

If you let your baby sleep with you, he learns to feel safe and secure. If all of a sudden, you don't let him in your bed, he loses all of that security. All of it.

Yeah, not catching your baby might be putting him in physical harm. But not letting your baby feel that consistent safety and security is putting him in mental and emotional harm.

 

if you allow your baby to sleep in your bed you're increasing the chances of him/her dying from SIDs because of the larger blankets and also your body heat will make his/her body heat increase to dangerous levels. Your baby will get over not sleeping with you, but once he/she is died there is nothing you can do. I learned this in my Growth & Development class a year ago.

 

Other studies have shown that SIDS is less likely in a responsible cosleeping arrangement. Being near to mama's breathing and heartbeat help keep the baby's more regular. Cosleeping should still be done, as I said, responsibly. Parents shouldn't do it when intoxicated. Baby should not be left in a huge bed by itself. But other than that, by being in the same bed - parents are really just raising their own chances of responding to baby's distress more quickly. ...From what I've read.

 

Bumble, research the work and findings of Dr. James McKenna of the Mother-Baby Behavioural Sleep Laboratory.

He has found that in the event of co-sleeping, babies sleep better with less occurance of sleep apnea, the mother's and baby's breathing is in sync, and they sleep in harmony, the mother often waking just seconds before her baby squirms. Also, if the proper precautions are taken, co-sleeping is just as safe as crib sleeping.

 

http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/

here is the website.

 

They teach this as a scare tactic, they don't bother to research the TRUTH. Kinda like vaccinations.

 

SIDS is also known as crib death, because it usually happens when baby is in a crib, alone. Cosleeping is very safe as long as mom is not intoxicated.

 

I guess I wouldn't know cause I'm not a mama. I guess they teach this because of attachment issues that the baby will develop?

 

What attachment issues are you refering to? Children being *gasp* attached to their parents? That's kinda the point of having kids ya know? I think its great that you are doing some reseach before you have kids, I'd be happy to answer any questions!

 

Sorry I just don't get why this attitude of constantly protecting our children came from. Teach them some independence and how to deal with things like fear on their own. You are not helping them by re-inforcing that "Mommy" takes care of everything. They need to learn that they can deal with un-comfortableness on their own. I am not taking about safety issues. What do you think is going to happen to your kids when you push them out in the real world and Mommy isn't their to cuddle them through everything? Kids raised without any independance on self reliance just become dependent on other people their whole lives.

 

You have obviously have never seen child abuse have you.

Teach them that others always take care of them but realize they grow to expect it.

 

I'd have to agree with you. Safety issues are way different than independance. If mommy or daddy does everything for their children then they will be set up for failure. I'm not saying that you should completely ignore their every needs, but you most teach them that they have to fend for themselves and I think letting them sleep with you until their like 10 will make them very dependent on you, My x b/f was raised like this and well he failed out of college two times and has a hard time holding a job. smiling_mama, thank you! I believe everyone should educate themselves before bringing a child into this world and I'm trying to make sure I know as much as I can before hand.

 

Why SHOULDN'T they expect it? They are CHILDREN for pete's sake! Not puppies or goldfish. I wouldn't allow my friend or my husband to cry himself to sleep, why a child or baby? Yes, children SHOULD expect others to take care of them - that is why humans give birth, not lay eggs or something.

Look at cows for example. When they are born, they are able to walk within hours, sometimes minutes. They nurse, but they also can graze within days or weeks. They were meant to be self-sufficient, ya know what I mean?

Now look at humans. When they are born, they cannot walk, they cannot talk, they cannot hold things. They can only nurse and cry. THAT IS BECAUSE THEY ARE MEANT TO BE TAKEN CARE OF!!!!!!!!

And when should that end? At their first birthday? At their second? I think choosing a date is arbitrary at best. So when they are 1 year and 364 days old they need their mamas, but the next day when they are 2 years old they don't?

My son is 2 years 4months. He was nursed on demand and he self-weaned a few months ago. He has never cried himself to sleep. He is VERY attached and therfore VERY SECURE. He likes to do his own thing. He has his own bed and is welcome to sleep in it or with us. He often chooses to sleep in his own room! He is secure and he knows that he can trust us.