slavery is still an issue

Discussion in 'Women's Forum' started by princess17, Jan 28, 2005.

  1. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

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    I can relate to this girl on some level or another. It's hard to be so young and wanting to get it all together. When your young and have all of this going on sometimes it's better that you are at home with your parents. People that age have friends in high school who are not even on the same track and not looking to move out yet or roomate. It wuld be so hard to move out on your own and afford rent by yourself at 17. I graduated early myself then I got pregnant rigth away and had a full time job with benefits and I had a plan for my baby. But I didn't make enought to live right out on my own too. Only enough to pay bills and have a roomate. Which at that age like I said is hard to come by. And when you have a new baby people that age who are your friends are not on the same page so roomin with people is hard. I think it's great that she's got a place to stay. And people who are showing her some lessons about caring fora home. Some parents would outright kick her to the kurb. Sounds like she's getting her stuff together on some level. Ps: Princess~ Have a backup plan handy. I remember I had it all figured out money wise too untill my job layed half the company off and I had to live off my savings. Good luck
     
  2. TheLittleOne

    TheLittleOne Senior Member

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    maybe they resent you for getting pregnant and this is like an indirect way of punishing you.
    either way, it's wrong
     
  3. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

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    1. She did not come here to discuss where the guy is. Ideally, he should be contributing... Unless she comes back to ask for advice on how to get him to contribute, I doubt most of us will address that. As it is, complaining about how her parents treat her does nothing to resolve that issue. Unless your advice is to make him provide a home for her (then who will do the dishes and cook and pay the rent -- should he do it all for her?), then I don't see how his involvement/noninvolvement is relevant to the question asked.

    2. As has been stated, it does not sound like she is getting ten tons of shit from her parents. It sounds like they expect her to contribute to the household. Oh my god, how horrible. She didn't list anything that involves heavy lifting or anything like that. Just clean the house (which is a cakewalk if that's all you have to do everyday), cook dinner, & serve them (as in put the food on the plate, oh my)... Apparently that's horribly humiliating...:rolleyes: In which case, how will she react when she has to spoon feed someone & get it spit back in her face?

    3. Who is pinning a scarlet letter on her? Really? People have said that if she is mature enuf/old enuf to get pregnant, then she is mature enuf to contribute to the household. That is a far cry from shaming her for being an impertinent little tramp, having premarital sex and *gasp* letting him impregnate her...
     
  4. sugrmag

    sugrmag Uber Nerd

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    You're right, dawn sky. No one is trying to shame her. I know that I, for one, was just trying to make her see that in this whole world of possibilities, she came out pretty good.


    No, Princess, you shouldn't HAVE to do it all on your own, ideally. But, you shouldn't expect people to automatically help you. You should accept help and be very gracious for it.

    If you are cleaning the house every day, I highly doubt that you are mopping every day, dusting every day, etc. If I got to stay home and clean MY house every day, it would be immaculate!
     
  5. Sera Michele

    Sera Michele Senior Member

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    This is likely what's going on, but I think she should take it with a smile anyways. It could be so much worse for her, and it IS so much worse for plenty of women.

    If they are doing it as a punishment, that is pretty lame. Regardless, you would still have to do this on your own, and much more, if it wern't for your parents. You should still be greatful. And if you show them thatyou are grateful then maybe they will ease up. They might just see that you are still acting like a child and that they need to whip you into a responsible adult in time for the birth of your child. Parent's usually have the best intrest of their children in mind, and children usually cannot see that.
     
  6. princess17

    princess17 Member

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    I can pay for everything on my own because i worked my ass off in school and took college corses while i was still in high school.I work at a computer company called NEW. And i had a big plan that i would save all of my money from my checks and put myself through college. but then the baby happened and i took out all my money and baught everything i need. so my plans for life got put on hold. i do get benifits through my job. and no the father is not around and im not asking him for his charity. he will not be in my life or my little girls.and i already talked to my doctor today wich is the 2nd and i went into pre mature labor lastnight. SO now im on strict bed rest so i guess this doesent really matter anymore. thanx to those of u that were so understanding.
     
  7. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    yeah he got her pregnant he should be providing a home for her, supporting her and doing anything that any women who is 8 months pregnant shouldn't be doing. I don't think that expectation is the least bit unreasonable.
     
  8. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    I respect your choice, good luck:)
     
  9. StarFaerie

    StarFaerie Member

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    "It's not fair that he gets to carry on with life, but it takes 2 to tango and she has to take just as much responsibilty. If i were to get pregnant right now and my man left, I would be ok. The baby would be just as much my fault and I think about this every time I have sex."

    Yes, but only the girl HAS to take responsibility. If I were to get pregnant right now and my man left, I would get an abortion. If it were too late for that I would drag him through the court system for child support. I know the law doesn't always help too much with child support, but you're letting yourself be a victim (plus letting that guy be a worthless piece, which he'll do to someone lese if he can) if you just accept it if the father leaves you with no help at all. Whether you feel like a victim or not. If we want to see more guys taking responsibility, then we have to stop letting them be jerks, or at least make it not so easy.

    "2. As has been stated, it does not sound like she is getting ten tons of shit from her parents. It sounds like they expect her to contribute to the household. Oh my god, how horrible. She didn't list anything that involves heavy lifting or anything like that. Just clean the house (which is a cakewalk if that's all you have to do everyday), cook dinner, & serve them (as in put the food on the plate, oh my)... Apparently that's horribly humiliating...[​IMG] In which case, how will she react when she has to spoon feed someone & get it spit back in her face?"

    But what she was saying is that she had to do ALL the housework. I just don't think you should make your child ever do ALL the housework, if you live there too. Kids aren't ready made servants, whether they need to learn responsibilty or not. If you don't do anything and make your kid do it all, they will resent you instead of learning any responsibilty. It's just counter productive. I wouldn't want to act as a waitress for my parents either but I have no problem spoon feeding my son. The difference is he can't do it himself.

    And now she's on bed rest. I'm not saying for sure it's because she had to do all the chores in the house, but that's part of the reason very pregnant women aren't supposed to do this sort of thing. (or have a bunch of stress for that matter.)I realize you have to learn to take care of a house, but geez, my mom came over to my apartment when I was 8 and 9 months pregnant to help me out! Maybe that's why I'm getting so distraught over everyone saying she should be grateful she doesn't get kicked out or have to pay rent. My parents aren't perfect by any means, they've done stuff I'm still mad about, but when it came to things like me moving back in after trying to leave on my 18th bday, they let me come back, and didn't make me pay rent. Of course I had to do chores but not every one in the house. See I guess the rent thing just seems counter productive too. I mean how is somene supposed to save up to move out soon if they have to pay you money every week? I guess I was just raised to believe that you take care of your own. I'm repulsed by the thought of ever kicking my Jeremy out, or making him pay rent if he needs his father and me to help him out with a place to live. It just seems wrong. I mean I turned out allright. My husband and I have our own place, our own car, we both have steady jobs (even though I'm working part time to spend more time with Jeremy) and we take good care of our son. He hasn't even had to go to the doctor at all except for his well baby visits, and everybody comments on how happy he is. And Chris (husband) also left and came back to his parents house without having to pay rent. Our parents also could've legally thrown us out cause we were over 18. But how do you think we'd have turned out then? (just to clarify all the stuff with our parenst was before we got together, we never lived in either of their houses together or anything) Just seems like it would breed as much resentment as responsibility, and it's not neccesary, unless you can't afford to let your kid live there without rent from them. But that would be understandable then


    Plus, turns out she doesn't need to learn THAT much responsibilty if she was taking college classes during high school. Sounds like she was very responsible and just accidentally got pregnant. I accidentally got pregnant too.
     
  10. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

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    Exactly men act the way they do because women let them. As for the courts they suck my dad makes almost a million a year and my mom and I lived in low income housing when I was really young-the courts never made him pay child support which was fine with my mom because it made it easier for her to not let him see me but it's still fucked.
     

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