slavery is still an issue

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by princess17, Jan 28, 2005.

  1. princess17

    princess17 Member

    ok here is the probolem.Im 17 years old and im almost 8 months pregnant. i still live at home with my parents. i dont work. But ever since i got pregnant my parents make me their personal slave everyday i have to cook their dinner and make their plates and serve them and i have to clean the whole house by mysef everyday (3 bedroom normal size house). and being 8 months pregnant this is hard to do because i get soooo tiered. they say they make me do this because they support me but im still under 18. does anyone else think that this is wrong or should i be greatful that they let me stay here and do what im told. any opinions would be greate thank you!!
  2. StarFaerie

    StarFaerie Member

    No, they are treating you badly. You shouldn't have to do everything in that house when you're 8 months pregnant if it makes you too tired!! (some people can, some people can't, pregnancy affects everyone different) Thay ARE treating you lik a slave, but how could I help? I guess you could tell them you're just not doing all of it anymore, if they kick you out or hit you while you're pregnant they can go to jail. Actually they're not allowed to kick you out before you're 18. Sounds like they are trying to punish you for being pregnant and that's wrong. What's to be grateful for? They're legally responsible for you until you're 18. I'm not saying people shouldn't be grateful to their parents for raising them, but not if they're abusing their power. PLus, after you have the kid get a job pronto so you don't have to depend on them anymore, I know it's hard to have a baby and a job, but you might have to unless you want to stay with your parents forever, being their maid
  3. Faerie

    Faerie Peachy

    Im sorry that you have to go through that sweetie... it is wrong of them but maybe there trying to teach you a lesson and prepare you for whats to come... When you have a child there will be no.. im tired.... you will being going all the time... and that won't be an exuce to your child... It is still unfair of them... Show them how adult and responcible you can be... sit down with them and tell them how you feel (without getting upset, and if they get upset, keep your temper, which may be hard to do, be more adult then them.. ) Tell them your tired. That you dont mind helping but its hard for you to do it all.. If not... Work your butt off and get out of the house as soon as you can..
  4. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

    They should be more undestanding of your state. you should do things because your part of thefamily and not be forced. but your pregnant and its hard on yoru body to be doing that all day.
  5. StarFaerie

    StarFaerie Member

    Exactly, not while she's pregnant! Geez I WOULDN'T have been able to do all that when I was 8 months along! I mean I understand what Faerie (nice spelling by the way *wink*) is saying about them getting her ready, but it's not the same when the baby is inside you sucking all your energy out! I tell you I'm tired sometimes now taking care of my pufffy boy, but NOTHING like when I was almsot done being pregnant.

    But Faerie is right princess, you should probably sit down and talk to them before you just tell them you're not doing all of it lol. Sorry, I just get so angry when I hear of people being unfair.
  6. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    Well, it doesn't sound like fun, but it could be a lot worse. Doesn't really sound like slavery to me. Have you tried talking to them and letting them know how tired you are? Surely your mother will remember what it was like to be 8months pregnant with you, and be a little more lenient. If you aren't working, you aren't contributing to the family income... surely it's reasonable for them to ask you to do some things around the house? What you're doing now may be too much, but preparing supper, taking out the trash, sweeping every other day and stuff like that isn't unreasonable. Making you scrub the floors on your hands and knees every day is.

    I guess, it just doesn't sound outrageously awful to me. Try reasoning with them.... still be willing to do some things around the house, but less as you come closer to the due date.
  7. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    they shouldn't be telling you to do things in your state right now, but you do need to learn some responsibility. You're going to have a child and that chore is a million times more tiring than anyhting you listed.

    I would ask then to give you a break for now, because it's really not good when you're that far along, but you have to know, all those things you listed, I do everyday on top of a full time job. We all do. That's adult life. I would ask for a break now, but you SHOULD be grateful they let you stay there and not pay rent or anything. THey are probably just trying to prepare you for what lies ahead. I'm really not trying to be a bitch, but it sounds like you need a little preparing. Housework is NOT slavery! Get ready to be a hell of a lot more tired when your baby comes. I hope your parents listen and let you take it easy for the next month, but I would thank them for trying to prepare you also.
  8. headymoechick

    headymoechick I have no idea

    it sounds harsh, but taking care of a baby is a lot harder.

    she didn't say she was their personal slave, she said she had to make dinner and serve them, and clean the whole house.

    what adult mother here DOESN'T do that?

    I said that certain things should be taken care of by someone else because she is 8 months pregnant. But she does need to learn some responsibility. Sounds like she didn't take care of herself in the fact she got herself pregnant. She's lucky she has parents who will let her stay there. A lot of parents kick the girl out.

    I don't agree if her parents are trying to punish her. But I really think that what she was complaining about wasn't that severe.
  9. princess17

    princess17 Member

    i really dont mind helping around the house at all, but its a little different when u r pregnant and they start doing this. I actually like to clean its just the fact of having to have everything done at a certin time. I dont sleep very good at night so i dont end up going to sleep until like 5 in the morning so i sleep more in the day. All the cleaning and stuff has to be done by time my mom gets home from work wich is at 5. so i have to get up even if im really tiered and get everything done. the work isent really that hard its mostly just the serving them their dinner that bugs me . i like to cook so that isent a probolem. but im not a servent they are more then capable of getting their own plates of food. im really not an ungreatfull person but i dont think im being treated fair at all
  10. Applespark

    Applespark Ingredients:*Sugar*

    do it all while your there and then plan on moving out. you sound like you can handle a lot. I bet you'd be fine out on your own. The they'll have to get their own dinner,
  11. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I imagine you would be insanely tired at 8 months. I would speak to your obgyn about it and maybe have your obgyn tell them how important it is that you are healthy and rested during your last trimester and especially before you give birth and for 6 weeks after. i would also maybe seek out goverment assistance programs and seek public housing when you're 18 and enroll in a community college with a daycare center and a great child development program (interns work at the infant center in most casses).
  12. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

    Well, my first reaction was "what the hell is this girl talking about?" Your title for this post was quite alarmist. Yes, slavery IS still an issue in the US -- except that it is in terms of women being brought into the country illegally (often with the promise of a good, respectable job), then being held prisoner in brothels in the slums, with the threat of brutal beatings if they even try to do anything to get away or defend themselves. I honestly find it kind of offensive that someone in your position would make such a charge when REAL slavery IS still an issue.

    That said, are your parents pushing for you to give the child up for adoption? To me, it sounds like they are putting you thru the paces in hopes that you will realize that you don't want to have to cook & clean & serve somebody (you may not like being their servant, but when this child is ready to start on regular food, you will have to spoon feed it to the child & how often does it wind up being spit back out making a huge mess for you to clean up?). You're not that young -- like a 14 yo that finds herself pregnant -- but you do have a lot of living ahead of you. Whether anyone else would agree with their tactics, they may honestly believe that they are acting in your best interest, expecting you to see that you are not ready to be a full-time mommy (regardless of whether you feel ready, parents often have a different perspective).

    That's just the impression I got when I read your post. If this sounds at all applicable to your situation, I would suggest bringing it up when you have that talk with them that others have already suggested.
  13. Abyle

    Abyle Member

    Initially I felt a little sorry for you because I don't think pregnant womyn should be made to do EVERYTHING. Your thread title offended me as well; I thought it was referencing the situation with the tomato suppliers of KFC, Pizza Hut, and Taco Bell. Still, being tired and pregnant was hard.

    Then I thought, "Shame on the mean old poster above me. What a meanie!" Then I realized something. You posted your message around noon CST. Why aren't you in school? It seems like if your folks were such terrible disciplinarians, your ass would be in high school everyday. (And no matter how you cut it, school is in session at whatever timezone you're on.) Your post itself is REALLY manipulative and tries to gather sympathy. You start out telling us you're enslaved and then you ask, "does anyone else think that this is wrong or should i be greatful that they let me stay here and do what im told. any opinions would be greate thank you!!" (sic). "Mean" parents would have "enslaved" you all along, or kicked you out for being pregnant. Sympathy fishing is not nice and nothing bothers me more than being manipulated.
  14. superNova

    superNova Member

    well, i've never been pregnant. but i've known quite a few pregnant ladies who worked fulltime up until the very last second. my current boss is due in about three weeks and is working fulltime. . . i dunno it just doesn't sound bad to me. certainly not slavery!!

    you cook and clean a bit (and if it's just pregnant you and your parents in a house, i doubt it gets very messy from day to day), and it sounds like you're not in school. if you honestly feel it is hurting your health during your pregnancy, then talk to your parents about that specifically and see if there's something else you could work out (doing chores that don't involve a lot of physical movement - like doing bills, balancing check books, etc).
  15. lynsey

    lynsey Banned

    I don't think it's fair to say that just because she got pregnant that her parents have the right to push her into any decision and make her work all the time at 8 fucking months-to me that's abuse. If her husband was doing that to her you would all call it abuse but because it's her parents it's okay? yeah you made a mistake so the fuck what now everyone should move on pull together as a family and help you and your child have a good life.
  16. Abyle

    Abyle Member

    " don't think it's fair to say that just because she got pregnant that her parents have the right to push her into any decision and make her work all the time at 8 fucking months..."


    "If her husband was doing that to her you would all call it abuse but because it's her parents it's okay?"

    Nope. Womyn with partners ALSO do some day to day tasks like cooking dinner and light cleaning. Some even work and go to school. However, a wommon who has a partner already knows having another life she is (somewhat) responsible for is work. She's more prepared for a baby. Also, a partner AGREED at some point to this baby, he/she is obligated to help. Her parents didn't. A husband is obligated to help because it's his kid too.

    "yeah you made a mistake so the fuck what now everyone should move on pull together as a family and help you and your child have a good life."

    She's jobless. She doesn't appear to be in school. I think it isn't asking too much of her to prepare dinner or do light housework. What in the world would she do if she were a year older and living alone, 2000 miles away from her parents? She'd have to work and take care of her household. You can't simply sit on your butt and do nothing all day and expect everyone to be thrilled. Having said that, she doesn't need to be scrubbing floors or scooping out litter boxes, or doing ANY heavy lifting or manual labor.
  17. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

    First, I didn't suggest that it's fair for her parents to push her into any decision. I suggested that that may be their motive, and that they may think they are doing what's best for her -- as in, they may be flawed, but not evil. IF that even seems to her like it might be their motive (since I have very little info to go on), then realizing where they're coming from gives her a better chance to address their concerns in a conversation, which may make things easier on her.

    As for making her work all the time, she said she has to clean a normal sized 3 bedroom home -- what, dusting, cooking dinner, doing dishes? That is not unreasonable, that is not drudgery, that is not that big of a deal. She should not be cleaning a litter box, she should not be doing any heavy lifting (big laundry loads), but there is no reason she can't do light housework and cook dinner. If she is not supporting herself, and if she is mature enough to get pregnant, then she is mature enough to contribute to the household.
  18. Maggie Sugar

    Maggie Sugar Senior Member

    I had the same reaction as dawn sky. Real slavery is really a different thing.

    I have four kids. I cooked and cleaned ect. when I was 8 mos pregnant (and considering I was just off of months of bed rest, I was exhausted) but that is what you do when you are a mother. You take care of people.

    What is your parent's attitude? Are they mean and nasty, or is it just 'you are home all day and these things have to get done?" You should not exhaust your self and should be able to set your own pace, but, per your post, you are not getting UP until midafternoon? Have you talked to your OB or your midwife about why you are UP until 5 in the morning? That doesn't sound healthy. What are you doing until that time? I hope to Heaven you aren't OUT!
    What time does your mom get up?

    A lot of womyn work full time, go to school, keep a house, take care of other children ect when they are pregnant. Get used to being tired, it is a given when you are a mother. Again, you should have rest, but it appears you don't START your housework until midafternoon, are you asleep until then? While your mom is at work?

    I think there is something here we are not hearing. I would like to know what that is.

    At any rate, although you DO need rest (and sleeping until midafternoon, it looks like you are getting some) it isn't slavery? WHO is paying and taking care of the OB, the hospital bill, the diapers, the pediatrician, the maternity clothes, the baby clothes, the (God forbid I hope not) formula (hope you will be breastfeeding) who is taking care of your food, room and board, medicines, transportation, spending money ect? Is this just "helping out?" As you are home all day?

    sigh, my teens sometimes think they are slaves, too, because they have to do a little housework and I can tell you that is far from the truth. (they also have full time school and jobs.) I don't think we are really talking slavery here. Slaves, by historical standards, don't get to sleep all day, and then get up, dust a little and make dinner. sigh.
  19. BlackGuardXIII

    BlackGuardXIII fera festiva

    I know, it sucks, but you either deal with it, make the best of it, or leave.....
    just don't let the bastards get you down.
  20. AutumnAuburn

    AutumnAuburn Senior Member

    I completely agree with Maggie... When I was 8 months pregnant with my youngest, I had a 3 year old, a 6 year old, and a husband who didn't do *anything* around the house. He had a job and paid the bills, so that I could stay home and raise the kids. Everything else was my job. ALL of the cleaning (three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, living room, family room, dining room and kitchen), ALL of the laundry, ALL of the cooking, ALL of the tending to the children, ALL of the financial stuff/billpaying. He would go grocery shopping with me, but that's because we always got at least two carts of food, I couldn't do it on my own.

    Sweetheart, I understand that you feel put out. But this is just the beginning. Get used to it, cuz it is only going to get worse. When you have the flu and nasty stuff is coming out of both ends of your body, that baby still needs to be fed and diapered and bathed.

    You will be amazed at how little sleep a mother truly needs in order to function. You will be running on about 4 hours a night, for the first year. You will learn to function within exhaustion.

    And honestly, if my child was pregnant and still living with me (I have a 16 y.o. and a 13 y.o., so it isn't out of the realm of my imagination). I would darn well expect her to either be working or in school. And if she was neither, then you better believe that she would be doing housework, absolutely.

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