this is really the best thing i've written in awhile. i was lying when i said i wouldn't give you the time of day, but that won't stop from trying to keep you at bay. though my ship is sinking, i keep playing the stupid game unblinking. i've still got you trying to open me up; anxious to dig around inside. but i can't have you prying; i know fair well you'd be able to get in without even trying. if you toss a bone, i'll catch it. i can't be obvious; you're not so oblivious. i told myself i'd be better off on my own, but i've broken a lot of my own promises before. and you're filling a lot of the pages in my dresser drawer; too many for me to ignore. you keep making offers but i'm not willing to give in just yet. you're making me sweat but i'm getting to where i'm so happy i forget. you keep peeling back layers of this wall i built so well, to the point where i'm having nightmares that it fell. i hate to admit it, but you've got my stomach doing backflips at the slightest sight. and your pull is like gravity, almost too much for me to fight. outwardly, i pretend you don't matter to me but inside i'm liable to disagree. i'm nervous, every time you look at me i feel like i'm getting an x-ray; you're just too likely to see too much on any given day. i'd like to convince myself you're anthrax, but i just can't see myself ever using a fax. i'm stubborn as they come; even if you asked me now, i'd say i wasn't under your thumb. i'd hate to think i made it this easy, that it happened so quickly, it made me queasy. even the slightest brush, sends my spine tingling; another blush and i'm spiralling into another head rush. i'd like to say it's just a crush at best, but i'm sure you'd protest. i've never believed in love, but because of you, i just might. i think i'll have to abandon ship but all the way down, my stomach will steal another backflip.
