ok so...im either gay or bi , im 16 and hating my life at the moment.i just hate keeping this inside me..i just had to let it out...i find guys attractive by their looks but females not so attracted by their looks but their personality.guys make me melt..but girls make me laugh and smile.i don't get it i always feel like i have to be like someone else..because of the community around me.. i don't want to come out because i don't know what to expect from my family and friends..at school their is this one gay dude who dresses like a girl..and people always want to kick his ass and talk shit about him and make fun of him. im scared if i come out ill be treated really bad. im just really sad and confused.around people i pretend im happy..but inside im really not also my friends confuse me...like when i hang out with some of them..we do guy stuff like ..you know check out girls and whack off to porn together (lol) but then they started showing their cocks to each other and shit.also one of my friends always says im sexy and slaps my ass.but they always check out girls,have girlfriends and talk about girls? are they gay or what? does anyone else feel this way or experience something like this?
You're me about a year ago, exactly. I know that you're feeling sad and depressed and confused about this type of thing, because I felt the same exact way. The spring before last I had a girlfriend, and I thought I loved her (then again, that word is misused a lot). Anyway, I realized that as much as I was "in love" with her personality, I couldn't see anything sexual happening. Now, more than a year later, I realize that my feelings were developing then, and no matter how impatient I was, all I needed was time to clear my head. I couldn't picture being in a relationship with another guy until this April when I went to "gay prom" with a bunch of my friends, most of whom didn't know I was bi/gay/whatever I was calling myself at the time. It was there that I saw gay teenagers, the same age as myself, having a good time together, dancing, flirting, kissing, etc. and I realized that there's no reason why I should be afraid to be a part of that. That was when I realized that I'm actually gay, which was a difficult revalation to come to. It took maybe 2 years to come to that conclusion after thinking that there was the slightest chance that I might be bi. About your friends, I'm guessing that they're not gay, they're probably just horny, like every other highschooler. But who knows? Maybe they are and you don't know it. Then again, if they're that forward about sexual things like what you've described, they're probably not, because gay teenagers, in my experience, tend to not be as openly horny and guy-ass-slap-happy as others. But that's just my experience. My advice is to find someone to talk to in person. If you have a close friend that you can trust (male or female), that would be best. But make sure it's someone you can trust. Being gay or bi or whatever you are is a difficult secret to keep, and it's always best that people only know when you're ready for them to know. I've only recently "come out," and have been blessed with family and friends who are supportive. Even so, there's no way in hell that I would have come out any sooner, because I just wasn't ready. Still, it feels so much better. I'm not sure if that's more info than you need, or if it's relevant to you at all, but I hope it helped. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can email or IM me. (My IM is the same as my username here)
Hey StepUp... Just like Amp said....my experiences are almost the same and I feel the same way as you for I havn't come out yet and I don't know to many gay people in real life. If you want to talk then feel free to email me or IM me. I'll send you the info via massage.
